I am Vardy

With England leading Trinidad and Tobago by a large score, and on the pinnacle stage of the World Cup, if you give up the chance to be funny, you will definitely be ashamed of the teasing system for so long cultivation.

In fact, Vardy sometimes feels that he may be wrong to blame the funny system.

Before, I always issued cheating tasks to myself, and there were all kinds of strange punishments if I didn't complete them. Even the terrible punishment of shortening the penis almost became a reality.

However, after he killed the active mission system, he discovered the difficulty of increasing his strength, so that he is struggling now.

It seems that I am a little narrow-minded. Looking back now, maybe the task is cheating, but the purpose of the system is actually very clear.

The system has said from the very beginning that its mission is not to cultivate the most outstanding football stars on earth, but to cultivate the funniest players on earth.

This also means that the system does not care whether you win or not, it is only responsible for making you a bitch, nothing more.

For Vardy, if he wants to become a superstar, he must improve his strength through the system to a large extent.

And how does the system improve your strength?

Of course it depends on how funny you are!

In the final analysis, it is still necessary to rely on teasing to achieve the improvement of strength!

The system is fine!

There is no such thing as a free lunch in the world. If you want to improve your strength without paying a price, then you are really naive.

Although the control over the system is a little stronger now, it is impossible to improve by leaps and bounds as before, unless the system is updated again with something good!

By the way, will the system be updated again at the end of this season?

It's nothing new to always follow the steps like this!

Even if you get a virus again!

Whether you have foot-and-mouth disease or hand-foot-mouth disease!

But now on the court, Vardy doesn't have time to think about it, so let's think about it after calming down.

So, funny, please start your performance!

Who should I choose as the target of teasing?

Your teammates?

Looking at the teammates who are kicking up and attacking the opponent,

Vardy felt it was going a bit too far if he made them a tease target.

Everyone is working hard, and it's fine to paddle by yourself, and it's inappropriate to drag others back.

And some teammates don't have an irresistible relationship with me. If you piss them off, they will start chasing you on the court. Is this really good?

He and Rooney, Ferdinand and others are good friends who can be teased at will, but when they were in the club, they had already led them so far that they didn't know where they were going. When they went to the national team, they would harm them again. Vardy himself felt sorry.

So put the teasing target on the opponent player?

Looking at the opponents who lost their souls because they fell behind by a large score, they now have to work hard not to concede more goals.

People have already had a very difficult time, do you really want to continue?

Well, it seems that there is only one target left!

Turning his head to look at the referee on duty in the middle of the field, Vardy smiled maliciously, the light in his eyes had a profound meaning...

The referee was following England's offense and ran towards the penalty area of ​​Trinidad and Tobago, and suddenly shuddered. Under the halo of Vardy's teasing, the referee had a bad premonition for no reason.

When was the last time you had this bad feeling?

It seems that when I was a child, I peeked at the lady next door taking a shower, and then unfortunately was discovered, and the sex was almost interrupted...

But I'm in the law enforcement game now, the big thing is that I can't dodge and get bored by the ball, so what's the big deal!

But just as he was thinking, he turned his head and saw Vardy who was aiming at him not far away. The referee slammed and stopped.

I'm going, I forgot about this product!

Even if I haven't enforced a game with Vardy before, this funny and famous name is really impressive!

Since Vardy's debut, with his game, it has never stopped...

Not to mention how the players and fans are doing during the game, just the referees, how many people have accidents for no reason!

The one who fell out of the sky for no reason, the one who was sent to the hospital by a series of bullets, and even more incredible, the one who fell asleep during a law enforcement match...

What incredible things have come out!

Although this may not have anything to do with Vardy, it seems to have appeared with Vardy in the dark.

When it came to the World Cup, it didn't stop. Even a famous coach like Eriksson started to run naked. What else is impossible!

And these strange and embarrassing things all happened when Vardy was present. Even if analyzed from a materialist perspective, these are not directly related to him, but from a superstitious point of view, these are all brought by Vardy yes!

It seems that there are no accidents in this game, which is very abnormal. Could it be that accidents will happen to me next?

The referee is about to cry, I'm just here to play soy sauce, I don't want protagonist treatment!

Death is not scary, the moment of accident, you don't know anything, just go peacefully!

What's scary is that knowing that death is coming, you can't do anything, you can only quietly wait for death to come!

The current referee is in such a state. He feels that something will happen, but there is no way to stop it, because he has no idea what will happen!

Can he still directly punish Vardy, the source of pollution?

Maybe nothing will happen this way, but then he will have a big problem!

If other players play well on the field, you will send them off. A dictator is not as overbearing as you!

Now the referee only hopes that he is an illusion, and it is best that nothing happens!

But at this moment, Vardy went straight to the referee, looked at the referee up and down in the referee's creepy surprised eyes, and then showed a secretive smile. This smile reminded the referee of those horror movies that made him pee. …

For Vardy, the profession of referee is actually a profession with a lot of dealings, at least 90 minutes in each game.

But most of the time, Vardy doesn't have a good impression of the referee, and some even make him hate it.

Do you have no human rights?

Are you going to be targeted on the field for being funny?

So in many cases, Vardy regards the referee against him as the target of the battle.

Although the referee of this game didn't seem to have done anything excessive to him, but the world is as black as crows, you should just treat yourself as a lying gun!

Of course, Vardy didn't want to do anything too much to the referee, it was just a spoof!

Under the apprehensive eyes of the referee, Vardy smiled slightly, the corners of his mouth curled up, and he whistled impressively.

Of course, it wasn't the loud booing whistle that the fans blew, which had the same meaning as booing, but the kind of light whistle with a little melody, low pitch, and when the mood was good.

The referee was a little dumbfounded, what does this mean?

I thought it would be a thunderous blow, but I didn't expect it to become a gentle wind and light rain.

Why did Vardy suddenly change his gender?

He would never have thought that Vardy didn't put him directly into the oil pan, but used a method of boiling the frog in warm water.

Doesn't this whistle sound familiar to you?

How did your mother coax you to pee when you were a child?

Have you found childhood memories?

Is there a sudden coolness in the crotch?

Want to free yourself freely?

That's right, Vardy is holding back bad like this!

The referee just felt a little awkward at first. A person whistling next to him seemed to be molesting himself.

Wherever he went, Vardy followed him like a shadow, and wherever he followed, the whistle kept circling in his ears.

But slowly, the referee felt something was wrong.

Suddenly I felt like peeing, Vardy’s whistle sounded like a starting gun, and the liquid hoarded in the bladder seemed to be ordered, and it was assembled in large quantities, ready to spew out at any time...

Can you stop blowing?

The referee wanted to cry.

Fortunately, at this time, his teammate suddenly passed the ball to Vardy. Vardy temporarily gave up competing with the referee, and fired a heavy shot at the goal, threatening Trinidad and Tobago.

The referee let out a long breath, finally feeling less anxious.

But the next second when he saw Vardy coming back to him, pouting his mouth and preparing to whistle, he felt bad all over.

The brisk whistle sounded again, and along with his urge to urinate, the referee had the urge to rush off the pitch to the bathroom.

If the sea is calm and calm in front of you, then taking a pee by yourself can definitely set off a stormy sea!

The legs were brought together unnaturally, twisted, and the hands were slowly moved down, trying to find a posture that made him less impulsive.

He turned his head and glared at Vardy, wishing he could just take out the red card and send this bastard off the field, but I've never seen such a bad one...

But there is no rule that prohibits players from blowing the whistle on the court, and they didn't blow the whistle on themselves, without any ironic meaning, what should you do?

Even if you make unreasonable words, people can still say that when the team leads by a big score, you are in a good mood and whistle to vent. Do you have an opinion?

Seeing Vardy's innocent little expression, the referee held back the words when he reached his mouth. He could only pray that his teammates would often pass the ball to Vardy, so that this guy would have no time to blow the whistle.

But he obviously underestimated Vardy's patience and teasing. When Vardy found that the referee had started to move unnaturally because of his whistle, Vardy knew that the referee was about to fall!

At this time, the attack must not be relaxed, it is time to increase the material!

Ordinary whistles are like cannon fodder, now it's time for the elite troops to step in!

Vardy changed the shape of his mouth suddenly, and blew a high-pitched and passionate melody. The divine comedy "Uneasy" just appeared in this world without warning!

a---o,

a---o e,

a se di, a se do, a se da g3 di g3 do,

a se di, a se da g3 do,

 …

Articulations that don't really mean anything are replaced by whistles, but the resulting explosive effect isn't bad at all.

Whether or not the Divine Comedy is the Divine Comedy, whenever it appears, it will always shock the soul!

The referee's scalp exploded in an instant, and he was shocked, and his lower body fell...