Renzai Konoha: I, Naruto! Completely screwed up!

Travel through Konoha, become Uzumaki Naruto, and bind the broken system.
Crane end? Forever a scumbag?
Naruto: Yes, I'm a waste, let's go home and sleep.
Successful placement, the key to the gossip seal has been exchanged.
Monster fox? A natural disaster?
Naruto: Yes, I'm sorry to be human.
Successfully, the Kaleidoscope Sharingan has been exchanged.
Collect tail beasts, want to take away my nine tails?
Naruto: This doesn't seem to work, I have to ask Kurama.
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