I’m Really a Superstar

on Weibo.

Many people in the cross talk circle are still scolding Zhang Ye and Yao Jiancai, especially some old artists in the cross talk circle and Tang Dazhang's cross talk club, who are the ones scolding them the most.

An old crosstalk actor: "The crosstalk community will never recognize him!"

People who liked Zhang Ye and Yao Jiancai's cross talk also started scolding them.

Suddenly, someone shouted.

"Ah, recording!"

"What recording?"

"What's wrong?"

"Someone sent a recording! It's from Beijing TV Spring Festival Gala rehearsal!"

"It's true! Holy shit, it's Teacher Zhang and Teacher Yao's cross talk!"

"Hey, which hero sent it?"

"That's awesome! I'll go listen first!"

"Give me a link! Where is it?"

"Hahaha, I saw it too, let's hear it again!"

…

But the people at the rehearsal didn't know.

The crosstalk continues.

Zhang Ye said calmly: "So, cross talk can cure all kinds of diseases, especially for prostate patients."

Yao Jiancai: "Hi."

Zhang Ye: "But friends who want to listen to it live should pay attention. All Mr. Tang's cross talk performances usually have a sign at the door with a line of red letters: Non-swimming association members enter with caution."

Yao Jiancai said jokingly: "I just realized that to listen to cross talk, you have to learn to swim first!"

Zhang Ye nodded seriously and said: "Yes, the threshold for this industry is high, and there is also a threshold for listening to cross talk. This is a very dangerous art." Some jokes, Zhang Ye recalled using the memory search capsule, and some jokes, He made it up and changed it on the spot.

The audience burst into laughter!

"Hahahahaha!"

Yao Jiancai shook his head and said, "What a mouthful you are.

So wicked. "

Zhang Ye said: "But he is also famous."

Yao Jiancai said happily: "How can you be famous at this level?"

Zhang Ye: "Yes, last time there was a prostate patient who recovered from listening to cross talk, and the eldest sister sent a banner to Teacher Tang."

Yao Jiancai: "Sister? How can a woman have such a disease?"

Zhang Ye: "No?"

Yao Jiancai: "Women don't have this disease."

Zhang Ye: "Anyway, I gave Teacher Tang a banner."

Yao Jiancai: "What banner?"

Zhang Ye: "There are four big characters written on it - wonderful - hand - masturbation - heart!"

Laughing below!

Yao Jiancai quickly stopped him, "That's a wonderful hand and a benevolent heart!"

Zhang Ye let out a long sigh, "Maybe I remembered it wrong. I'm sorry, my knowledge is limited. Anyway, I just envy others."

Yao Jiancai: "Yes?"

Zhang Ye: "You can really make money by talking about cross talk."

Yao Jiancai: "Really?"

Zhang Ye said yearningly: "And this industry is also very united!"

The cross talk community is united?

When the people below heard this, they all started to cheer!

"babble!"

"babble!"

"babble!"

Although it was a rehearsal, the on-site staff and the people in the Spring Festival Gala program of the review team were very considerate and listened with great interest. The words came to my lips and I shouted out naturally, and then everyone laughed!

…

outside world.

Tang Dazhang's family.

Tang Dazhang has been rehearsing the program these days and has been very busy. Many people come in and out of the house every day, all making the final sprint for the Spring Festival Gala program.

At this time, a colleague in the cross talk industry called.

"Old Tang!"

"Haha, old Sun."

"Get online quickly!"

"I'm rehearsing with my apprentice, what's wrong?"

"Zhang Ye's cross talk at the Beijing Spring Festival Gala was exposed!"

"ah?"

"This grandson is swearing again!"

"What??"

After Tang Dazhang hung up the phone, his disciples and some colleagues next to him also heard it. Everyone's expressions were sinking, and they all went online to find out. They wanted to see what Zhang Ye would say on the Spring Festival Gala in the capital, curse? How dare he curse at a live show like the Spring Festival Gala?

How can it be!

the other side.

Several seniors in the cross talk industry also remembered the ringing of the phone in their homes.

"Xu, Master Xu, Zhang Ye has caused trouble!"

"What's up with him?"

"Hurry up and read online!"

…

on site.

Yao Jiancai smiled, "Hey."

Zhang Ye: "This industry is also kind-hearted and goes out to do good deeds every day!"

Yao Jiancai: "What good thing are you doing?"

Zhang Ye raised his hand, "For example, the year before last, during the earthquake, the cross talk community went to donate money. Several old cross talk artists took their apprentices and disciples to the Red Cross, and more than a hundred people went to the Red Cross. The first old artist said : We said that although cross talk can make money quickly and easily, the conditions are also limited and cannot compare to big bosses with tens of billions or hundreds of billions of assets."

Yao Jiancai nodded, "That's true."

Zhang Ye: "We are asked to donate 350 million, but we can't get it out."

Yao Jiancai waved his hand: "It doesn't have to be so much, just as long as it comes to your mind."

Zhang Ye: "Yes, the three to five yuan price is just my intention. It can't be compared with others."

Yao Jiancai hummed: "That's right, there's no need to compare."

Zhang Ye: "Here, take it, here are my three pieces. Then an old artist behind him followed up and said, 'And me, here are my three pieces.' They were all scrambling to get ahead."

Yao Jiancai was dumbfounded: "Really donating three yuan?"

It’s the cross talk world again!

Starting to curse the cross talk industry again!

Many people in the audience were in high spirits, especially Xiao Lu, Da Fei and Hou Ge who were the most energetic and laughed the loudest!

Zhang Ye grabbed a handful in his hand and said, "After donating the money, each of these people took more than a dozen candles from others, lit them, held them in their hands, and fist-pumped everyone who came over, shouting 'Be strong' '."

Yao Jiancai: "Hey, donate three yuan to light a dozen candles? And how can one person get more than a dozen candles?"

Zhang Ye looked at him strangely, "Why don't you light them all? Just light one, and put the remaining ten candles in your pocket and take them away."

Yao Jiancai: "Huh? Did you bring it with you? Then they made money on this trip!"

Laughter after laughter!

At this time, a staff member ran over to the chief director Chang Xiaoliang and wanted to talk about the arrangements for a program on the main stage.

"Director Chang, over there..."

Before he could say anything, Chang Xiaoliang interrupted. Without even looking at him, he raised his hand and said, "We'll talk about it later if you have anything to do. After reading this!" He stared at the stage without blinking.

The man sighed and stood there to listen.

Zhang Ye: "After a while, a group of migrant worker friends came, and each of them donated a thousand dollars."

Yao Jiancai: "Oh, so many?"

Zhang Ye: "People in the cross talk world clenched their fists and said: 'Be strong'!"

Yao Jiancai: "Hi."

Zhang Ye: "Then, a class teacher came with a group of primary school students and each donated five thousand!"

Yao Jiancai: "All primary school students donate five thousand?"

Zhang Ye: "People in the cross talk industry stood on both sides of them holding candles: 'Be strong'!"

Yao Jiancai rolled his eyes, "There's no need for them to tell you."

Zhang Ye: "In the end, a group of women came. They are special service staff in the karaoke bar. Each one of them is so beautiful."

Yao Jiancai: "What kind of profession is this?"

Zhang Ye: "They each donated fifty thousand!"

Yao Jiancai exclaimed: "Donate so much?"

Zhang Ye: "But the staff of the Red Cross showed disgust. They said at that time: 'Take it back, your money is not clean'!"

Everyone in the audience listened with wide eyes, not knowing what was going on.

Zhang Ye then said: "As a result, the old artists in the cross talk industry became anxious. They blushed and yelled at them: 'Why are you unclean! That's all our hard-earned money'!"

As soon as these words came out, the following people laughed like crazy!

"puff!"

"Hard-earned money?"

"Ha ha ha ha!"

"Ouch! It's wrong! It's wrong!"

"Hahahahahaha!"

Yao Jiancai asked, "Oh, they donated all the big money over there!" This old saying in the cross talk circle does not mean that praising an actor is more important than making fun of an actor. , it’s not that it’s more difficult to praise an actor technically than it is to tease an actor, but it means to see whether a meme can achieve the best effect. The “support” of praising an actor occupies a large proportion. The better the support, the better the meme will be. The effect will be greater!

When everyone heard this, they burst into tears with laughter!

There were several Beijing TV staff who were not watching the program in the auditorium, but could hear the program at work. They even held their stomachs and couldn't stand up from laughing. They also put down their work. Everyone looked at the stage here and listened to Zhang Ye's curse.

Dong Shanshan and the male host were both beaming with smiles!

There are card players below, and their program has five minutes left.

Zhang Ye had actually been watching the countdown. He would adjust his jokes at any time according to the time, "So, later I also learned cross talk."

Yao Jiancai smiled and said, "You also talk about cross talk?"

Zhang Ye said depressedly: "But when I came here, I realized that cross talk is too difficult to explain. The competition in this industry is too fierce. Just talk to the two of you on the stage. You can't do anything else."

Yao Jiancai asked strangely: "Why?"

Zhang Ye: "Everyone has new tricks. Some crosstalk actors have invited a group of female drummers to accompany them on the stage and provide music."

Yao Jiancai: "Ah? There is also this kind of cross talk?"

Dagu book?

female?

Everyone immediately thought, isn't this Tang Dazhang's cross talk at the Spring Festival Gala!

Zhang Ye: "The women are all wearing cheongsam." He gestured to his armpits with his hands, "The cheongsam is open to the armpits!"

Yao Jiancai said in surprise: "Good guy, didn't you come out after approving two curtains?"

Zhang Ye clicked his tongue and pointed in confusion, "I don't know why, but the tickets on both sides are selling very well!"

"Hahaha!"

"babble!"

"babble!!"

Everyone laughed and cheered again!

Yao Jiancai smacked his lips and said, "Hey, I don't know if it's about the drums or the thighs!"

"Ayo!"

"Ha ha ha ha!"

Some people are tired of laughing, but they can’t stop at all!

Zhang Ye sighed and said, "Later, a friend of mine told me that you can't do this. If you want to be famous, if you want to become famous, you have to attend the CCTV Spring Festival Gala! If you attend the Spring Festival Gala, you will become famous overnight!"

CCTV Spring Festival Gala?

Hu Fei was stunned!

Yao Jiancai: "That's right."

Zhang Ye: "He, Lu Ziye, knew the director of the CCTV Spring Festival Gala and introduced me there. The director looked at me and said that everything here is fully booked and there is no room for you. Just follow the work and do it." Hygiene, bring lunch boxes, come and walk my dog! Look, you have to walk his dog, how unethical!"

Yao Jiancai: "This is considered a stage manager."

Zhang Ye: "I let him walk his dog every day. This bad dog always stops every step of the way. I went to the watch shop and said, Master, look at this. What's going on?" The master said it doesn't matter, just wipe off the grease and it'll be fine."

Yao Jiancai: "Hi! Is it about wiping the sludge?"

Zhang Ye: "It's fixed. The director is very happy. Haha, no one has fixed this dog for so long. If you fix it, you are my confidant. Just stay here."

Yao Jiancai: "That's fine."

Zhang Ye: "Waiting every day, I can come to any job. I can come to any job. Hey, there is a cross talk show with 400 people at the Spring Festival Gala. I can come."

Yao Jiancai: "What? Four hundred people?"

This is obviously a cross talk that satirizes Tang Dazhang for going to the Spring Festival Gala!

For a time, the people below were even more excited to watch!

Xiao Lu patted her thigh and laughed!

Da Fei shouted repeatedly: "This is so exciting! This is so exciting! Hahahaha!"

Zhang Ye said: "That's four hundred people."

Yao Jiancai shook his head, "It's impossible, there is no such cross talk."

Zhang Ye glanced at him and said, "Why not? What did a person say?"

Yao Jiancai: "Stand-up comedy."

Zhang Ye: "Where are the two of us?"

Yao Jiancai: "Cross talk."

Zhang Ye: "Three people?"

Yao Jiancai: "It's a cross talk."

Zhang Ye said: "So, what do the four hundred people call it?"

Yao Jiancai asked: "What is it called?"

Zhang Ye replied: "It's called the Spring Festival Gala cross talk!"

Yao Jiancai: "Yeah?"

Zhang Ye: "Only CCTV Spring Festival Gala has this kind of program."

Yao Jiancai: "Hi."

Crosstalk at the Spring Festival Gala? ?

Everyone's mouths were frozen with laughter. Ouch, this has also blackened the CCTV Spring Festival Gala!

Zhang Ye said: "A large group of four hundred people doing cross talk. Cross talk talkers from all over the country gathered there. They set up a stage. This side is a rockery, this side is a mountain stream, and this side is a swimming pool. First, get on the helicopter, and then throw it away. The next hundred cross talkers came, all carrying parachutes on their backs, standing up and waving to the audience. A hundred people came out of the water here, and finally they pulled up a foreign truck and pulled up a funny one, who came up and said, "Friends of the audience." We, let’s meet again’!”

Isn't this Tang Dazhang's spoken language?

Hu Fei smiled bitterly. He didn't know what to say. He just knew that he must not offend anyone but this kid Zhang Ye. That guy's mouth was so evil!

Zhang Ye: "The show officially started. Everyone was standing together. They said in a funny way, 'I say one thing, and you have to turn over for me. I am very happy to wish you all a happy New Year.' Everyone said together, 'I am very happy to wish you all a new year.'" Happy New Year! With a bow, the cross talk is over."

Yao Jiancai was stunned: "Is this the end?"

Zhang Ye smacked his thigh excitedly, "I think this show is good, even those who are short-sighted can come!"

Yao Jiancai said cheerfully: "Yes."

"Hahaha!"

"You can even come here with a weak heart? Pfft!"

"Killing me!"

Zhang Ye said excitedly: "I'll do it, let me do this. The director said it can't be done now. These four hundred people all have backgrounds. If anyone doesn't do it, you can take over for him, you know? I stare and wait every day. Who doesn't do it?" I'll come as soon as it comes. The venue is busy, with thousands of spectators sitting there, and I deliver packed lunches every day. One day at the rehearsal, one of the eldest sisters gave birth to a baby. You said it made me hate you, and it made me hate you. After you give birth, go home, there are thousands of people here."

Yao Jiancai: "That's right."

Zhang Ye: "I called for a taxi, carried her in the truck, and packed her up when she came back. It was all my business, but the opportunity came that day."

Yao Jiancai: "What opportunity?"

Zhang Ye: "There are four hundred people talking about cross talk. Didn't there be a hundred cross talk talkers dropped from the plane? One person's parachute broke!"

Yao Jiancai was startled: "Ouch!"

Zhang Ye: "Pa! What a blessing!"

Yao Jiancai: "Is everything okay?"

Zhang Ye: "...dead!"

Yao Jiancai fainted: "Is it lucky to fall to death?"

Another big burst of laughter!

Zhang Ye hurriedly said: "I saw that it was true. I turned around to find the director. I'll do it. I'll do this! But the director said, you're late. The person who pushed him off has already taken his place. Got it!"

Yao Jiancai shouted: "This is too cruel!"

Zhang Ye: "Are you still letting people live? You guys didn't give me any chance. I went to complain to my friends. This is not okay. I have to work every day except for work. I am also responsible for giving birth to children. I don't care about all this, I don't have a chance! As a result, my friend said: You are just too thin-skinned. If you want to become famous and attend the Spring Festival Gala, you must first learn to be thick-skinned. You must be shameless, you know?"

Yao Jiancai: "Ah?"

Going to the Spring Festival Gala?

shameless?

"babble!!"

The sound is coming again! There was wild laughter all around!

The director laughed and covered his head, "This is Xiao Zhang!"

The deputy director was also laughing nearby. CCTV Spring Festival Gala is famous for its many secrets. Zhang Ye's words just hit the point of his laughter!

Just listen to Zhang Ye on the stage thinking: "How do you learn to be shameless? I thought about it, hey, the eldest sister can do it on the spot. Hey, thousands of people are watching her give birth, is she thick-skinned enough?"

Yao Jiancai was startled and smiled, "Yes, she is thick-skinned."

Zhang Ye clenched his fists and said, "Yes, go find her! I asked about it and went straight to the hospital. When I arrived at the hospital, she was sitting there covering her face and crying. Oh, oh, oh, oh, there are thousands of people, so many people at the Spring Festival Gala. Watch me give birth!"

Yao Jiancai smiled and said, "Hey, people know how to be shy."

Zhang Ye smiled and said: "I quickly persuaded her. I said it doesn't matter, it's nothing. That year, when the Olympic bid was successful, someone gave birth to a child in front of more than 20,000 people in the square!"

Yao Jiancai said happily: "Yes."

Zhang Ye: "When the elder sister heard this, she cried even more: 'Oh, that's me too'!"

Yao Jiancai was dumbfounded, "Huh? It's all her!"

"Hahahahahaha!"

time up!

Just the end!

Zhang Ye and Yao Jiancai smiled and bowed!

Immediately, a wave of applause and laughter engulfed the scene!

"good!"

"well said!"

"Ha ha ha ha!"

"marvelous!"

"Oh, I almost died laughing!"

"Well done!"

The director smiled and shook his head, not knowing whether to applaud him or not.

Chang Xiaoliang stood up and clapped!

Brother Hou, brother Hou and Xiao Lu were all screaming!

The people listening to this cross talk hardly have any free time. The whole process is full of laughter!

Zhang Ye exited.

There was music, singing and dancing on the main stage, and the stage for language programs was temporarily idle.

When a few people passed by, the male host immediately asked: "Teacher Zhang, Teacher Yao, what is the name of this cross talk?"

Zhang Ye smiled and said, "I want to go to the Spring Festival Gala!"

The male host immediately gave a thumbs up, "I'm really convinced!"

"What a name!" Dong Shanshan also laughed when he heard it, and also gave Zhang Ye a thumbs up, "If this cross talk of yours is broadcast, several people in the cross talk world will be angry to death!"

Zhang Ye blinked, "Does this count as removing harm for the people?"

Yao Jiancai pushed him and said with a smile: "What harm are you doing? In everyone's eyes, you are the harm!"

The show is over.

Everyone is still unsatisfied!

Although everyone at the Beijing TV station knew that this was a rehearsal, and they would not be able to put this kind of cross talk live on the Spring Festival Gala, this did not prevent everyone from giving the warmest applause. This applause was given to the superb art of cross talk. In terms of art, it is also the greatest respect for the two teachers Zhang Ye and Yao Jiancai!

Bravo!

It’s really wonderful!

This art was brought to life by Zhang Ye! !