I’m Really a Superstar

The atmosphere at the scene is getting hotter and hotter.

On the stage, the cross talk continued.

Zhang Ye looked at the audience loudly and said: "Some people question us and criticize us. We can all understand that no art form can be liked by everyone in the world. Some people have said that I like Zhang Ye's There is nothing wrong with cross talk. Some people have said that I don’t like Zhang Ye’s cross talk. There is nothing wrong with that. But if the second type of person thinks that he is more elegant than the first type of person, then he is totally wrong! "

Bang bang bang!

"good!"

"well said!"

The audience applauded.

Zhang Ye added: "This is also the reason why they are always in 'two'."

"Hahaha!" The audience laughed.

Zhang Ye said: "Art has no distinction between high and low."

Yao Jiancai nodded in agreement, "That's right."

Zhang Ye said: "Elegance is dispensable, but it is vulgar. No one can live without it."

"How do you say this?" Yao Jiancai asked.

Zhang Ye said: "It's easy to understand. For example, if you don't watch oil paintings, operas, and ballets, can you die? If you can't die, you'll do what you have to do. But if you leave vulgarity, you can't live. Garlic vulgarity? I don’t believe you don’t add garlic when cooking and frying eggplants! Are you frying them with coffee?”

Yao Jiancai smiled and said: "Where can I get coffee for cooking?"

Zhang Ye said: "Shit-pee-fart is vulgar? If you can, don't go to the toilet for the rest of your life!"

Yao Jiancai: "Oh, that's not enough!"

Everyone laughed!

Zhang Ye turned his head and said, "Isn't that right?"

Yao Jiancai nodded, "That's true."

Zhang Ye became more and more enthusiastic as he spoke. Seeing that the audience was in high spirits, he relaxed today and said: "Some people even scolded me for not knowing cross talk and said that I was insulting this art. I am different from Teacher Yao. Teacher Yao I am a serious cross talk actor. I have not been to elementary school. Anyone who knows me knows that I major in broadcasting and hosting. This is my old profession, so unlike other contestants, in this cross talk industry, I I am indeed a layman, but a layman is a layman. If you say that I don’t understand cross talk, that’s not okay, then I have to argue with you!”

layman?

But understand cross talk?

Yao Jiancai asked in confusion: "How do you say this?"

Zhang Ye looked at everyone and said, "I don't know what the mentality of those people who scold me for not knowing or knowing cross talk is. In your eyes, what does it mean to understand? What does it mean to know how to do it?"

In the seating area of ​​one hundred groups of contestants, someone suddenly shouted, "Guess it!"

This time, the audience did not boo, but the contestants did.

"one comes!"

"Yes, give me a mouthful!"

"This is the basic skill of cross talk!"

"Since Teacher Zhang knows cross talk, let us see it!"

The few crosstalk actors who were booing in the competition were not holding back their good ideas. What is a mouthful? It means that a long and complex vocabulary and story content are poured into a paragraph in one breath without stumbling. Several traditional jokes in cross talk have these. This kind of thing is not difficult anymore. It’s a question, it’s all been polished bit by bit since childhood.

Those crosstalk actors who have become monks on the way may not be able to speak well after a few years of learning. Even among those professional crosstalk actors who have learned crosstalk from their masters since childhood, more than half of them cannot speak. Even if they can barely speak, it is still very difficult. Maybe You will make mistakes or speak extremely slowly! Therefore, it is very difficult for professional crosstalk actors, let alone a layman.

The audience naturally knows this too.

"Guillotine?"

"Damn, these people are causing trouble again!"

"Teacher Zhang, don't pay attention to them!"

A group of contestants who were not as good as Zhang Ye could not compete with Zhang Ye in cross talk works, so they joined the cross talk community in boycotting Zhang Ye and clamoring to disqualify him from the competition. This has made many viewers disappointed with them. As a result, the scene is now different. , this group of people came to stab Zhang Ye again, and many viewers were very angry. They felt that these people were too ungrateful, their skills were inferior to others, and they didn't want to bother him!

Yao Jiancai pretended not to hear and just kept talking? Even he can't do this. He can barely speak a little at most. He is a complimenter and doesn't know much about speaking, so he can't help Zhang Ye even if he wants to, so he simply ignores the clamor of those people. Voice.

However, Zhang Ye did not ignore it, "Are you talking about it?"

"yes!"

"right!"

"One if you can!"

The contestants didn't know it was live broadcast. They all thought the camera wasn't recording, so they had no worries. Previously, they heard Zhang Ye scolding them all by himself, which made all the cross talk actors speechless. Silently, they also want to get the place back! Can't scold you? Okay, let’s talk about the real skills. The basic skills of cross talk actors have been honed for more than ten or even twenty years. They really don’t believe that Zhang Ye can speak beautifully. Even newcomers like them can say There are not many good ones!

Zhang Ye smiled and said: "Oh, in your eyes, only those who can talk and talk can be called good at cross talk, right?"

Yao Jiancai gave him a wink.

Zhang Ye seemed not to have seen it, "Okay, there are so many people here today, and I think everyone is looking forward to it, so I will give you a section. Are you willing to listen, willing to listen, or willing to listen?"

Yao Jiancai said: "Are you all willing to listen?"

Tang Dazhang was stunned.

The other crosstalk actors were also slightly confused.

What do you mean? Is this what Zhang really wants to say? Will he? He!

When the audience saw this, they were stunned for a while, what? Could it be that Teacher Zhang is really your mother? No way! They are also looking forward to it!

Zhang Ye smiled and said, "What do you want to hear?"

A female audience member shouted: "Report the name of the dish!"

Zhang Ye once said a little bit about this in a talk show. He just briefly talked about the first few dishes, but did not explain them all. People who watched that talk show may think that Zhang Ye only knows the previous dishes. It won’t be over after a few dishes. After hearing this, Zhang Ye smiled and said immediately:

"I treat you to steamed lamb, steamed bear's paw, steamed deer tail, roasted duck, roasted chicken, roasted goose, braised salted duck, soy sauce chicken, bacon, pine flowers, tripe, dried meat, sausages, assorted Supan, smoked chicken, white tripe, steamed eight-treasure pig, duck stuffed with glutinous rice, canned pheasant, canned quail, braised assorted vegetables, braised goose, braised shrimp, braised shrimp, braised shrimp, pheasant, rabbit breast, Vegetable python, whitebait, steamed hash ant, braised duck loin, braised duck strips, mixed duck shreds, yellow heart tube, braised white eel, braised rice eel, bean drum catfish, pot-roasted catfish, boiled skin Soft-shelled turtle, braised carp, fried carp, soft fried tenderloin, soft fried chicken, assorted sausages, sesame butter rolls, braised fresh mushrooms, braised fish breasts, braised fish slices, braised fish belly, braised pork slices, Braised white mushrooms, braised three delicacies, fried whitebait, braised eel, steamed ham, fried white shrimps, braised green clams, fried fish with noodles, braised asparagus, hibiscus agarwood, fried liver tips, stir-fried liver guan'er, fried belly kernels Steamed belly collar in soup, fried gold thread, braised silver thread, deep-fried glutinous rice paste, sugar-stewed water chestnuts, honey-shredded yam, shredded fresh peach..."

After this long period, the contestants were dumbfounded!

Tang Dazhang, Xu Wenxiang and the crosstalk artists also looked at each other in shock!

No one expected that Zhang Ye not only spoke out without thinking, but also did not stumble, and even the pause for breathing was imperceptible. Even compared to the spouting of professional cross talk actors, Speaking, Zhang Ye actually spoke faster and more smoothly than them!

The speed of speaking is like flying!

Zhang Ye was still talking: "... red meatballs, white meatballs, fried meatballs, fried meatballs, three delicacies meatballs, four xixi meatballs, steamed meatballs, sunflower meatballs, fried meatballs, tofu meatballs, red stewed meat, white stewed meat, Loose meat, pork belly, barbecue, sauce meat, lotus leaf braised meat, first-grade meat, cherry meat, horse tooth meat, sauce tofu meat, jar meat, jar meat, Yuanbao meat, Fulu meat, red elbow, white elbow, crystal Elbow, beeswax elbow, roasted elbow, grilled elbow strips, steamed mutton, roasted mutton, spiced mutton, sauced mutton, three kinds of boiled pork, fried three kinds of pork, roasted purple lid, braised duck offal, braised white offal , three fresh shark's fins, chestnut chicken, live carp, salted duck, and tube chicken!"

Finished!

There are many dish names!

Everyone in the audience was also shocked!

Even Yao Jiancai, his partner, was a little confused when he looked at Zhang Ye. Even he didn't know that Zhang Ye had this skill. What the hell, can you just say it? Not only can he speak it, but he can speak it better than professional crosstalk actors? impossible! When did this kid practice?

In fact, Zhang Ye didn't need to practice at all. The memory search capsule had already imprinted those cross talk jokes in his mind. Zhang Ye was a broadcasting major and was very eloquent. Speaking of this was just like playing, and he even ended up being dang dang dang. After speaking, I didn't even take a breath, it was very relaxed.

One crosstalk contestant did not believe in evil, his face changed, and he shouted: "Geographic Map"!

Zhang Ye said at the next moment: "Run to Beidaguan, take Hebei Street, Dahongqiao, Yangcun, Caicun, Hexiwu, Anping, Matou, Zhangjiawan, run to Tongzhou Bali Bridge, enter Beijing Qihuamen, exit Beijing Deshengmen. Take Qinghe, Shahe, Changping County, Nankou, Qinglong Bridge, Kangzhuangzi, Huailai, Shacheng, Baoan, Xiahuayuan, Xinzhuangzi, Xuanhuafu, Shalingzi, Yulin, Zhangjiakou, Chaigoubao, West Bay, Tianzhen, Yanggao County, Julebao, Zhoushizhuang, Datong, Gushan, Hongcibao, Fengzhen, Suji, Jining, Sanchakou, Shibatai, Zhuozi, Sandaoying, under the banner Camp, Taobuqi..."

Everyone was stunned again!

But Zhang Ye hadn't finished speaking yet, and he seemed to be sputtering for a long time without taking a breath, "...take Qinhuangdao, Beidaihe, Changli County, to Luanzhou, Guye, Kaiping to Tangshan. Lutai, Hangu, Tanggu, Xinhe Fifty Neighborhoods, Dongxinzhuang, Junliangcheng, Xinhe, Zhangguizhuang, Xinzhuangzi, the Second Cultural Palace, Qianzhuang, Dajiagu, and Dawangzhuang, a trolleybus factory. After passing Jiefang Bridge, Binjiang Road, Heping Road, Nanshi, we arrived at the Great Wall Cinema!”

At this moment, many viewers stood up!

"good!"

"Holy shit!"

"Teacher Zhang is so awesome!"

"That's so beautifully said!"

Applause suddenly erupted in the venue, deafening! (To be continued) [This text is provided by the handsome guy from the Qihang Update Team @bingshanberg123] If you like this work, you are welcome to come to Chuangshi to vote for recommendations and monthly votes. Your support is my biggest motivation. )