I’m Really a Superstar

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online.

Watching the live broadcast of the cross talk competition, countless people were stunned

"Teacher Zhang is so cruel"

"Haha, these people are going to be in trouble"

"This is irritating Teacher Zhang."

"If Zhang Ye becomes a gangster, no one in the world can stop him."

"Niu scolding is so easy to relieve one's anger. There are so many bad things in society that haven't spoiled the audience. Why can't Teacher Zhang Ye just talk about cross talk? Is he going to die?"

"Improving Zhang Ye"

“It speaks to my heart.”

on site.

The audience was also very emotional.

Zhang Ye said: "If cross talk can be so powerful, why should we study missiles, study nuclear weapons, and need an army? We can just get a basket of cross talk actors to talk about cross talk, and whoever is caught will be destroyed."

The following applauded again and again

"good"

"well said"

Zhang Ye continued: "Some people always like to talk about vulgarity, so that they can show their elegance. When the upper class says people are vulgar, that's pretending to be ignorant. When experts and scholars say people are vulgar, that's Dongfeng Ruo... ...I am worse than Dongfeng." Amid the laughter of the audience, he said: "Crosstalk actors say others are vulgar. This is envy and jealousy."

applause again

"Hahaha"

"babble"

Those cross talk artists almost scolded their mothers

The group of crosstalk contestants who had collectively boycotted Zhang Ye were all very angry.

Yao Jiancai smiled and said: "Only peers have naked hatred."

Zhang Ye said: "I have a poem that writes about the current situation of the cross talk industry."

Yao Jiancai said: "You can recite it.

"

Zhang Ye recited: "I look forward to the spring light in the dead of winter, and look forward to the morning sun in the middle of the night..." Zhang Ye had said this poem before, and it was called "Ba Pan". When he said this, many viewers who had heard it actually joined in. When the recitation started aloud, Zhang Ye couldn't help but slow down the pace of his recitation and read along with everyone.

Everyone: "Looking forward to the big money with beautiful face and moonlight"

Everyone: "Idle breasts are looking forward to flowing"

Everyone: "The lonely jackal at night looks forward to the female ghost"

Fifty people...

One hundred people...

Everyone chanted, the scene looked quite spectacular

"A single old man longs for his aunt"

"I look forward to winning awards for acting"

At the last sentence, Zhang Ye shouted at the top of his lungs with everyone: "We are talking about cross talk and hope... we will die together." Then, everyone burst into laughter in tacit understanding. The cooperation on and off the stage was so good, and we had a great time.

Yao Jiancai said happily: "Okay, this is too neat."

Zhang Ye used this poem to criticize the literary world. It is very famous and catchy. Many people can memorize it after reading it twice. This is how such a spectacular scene happened.

But Zhang Ye was having fun with the audience, but those in the cross talk circle were so angry that they almost bit someone. Zhang Ye, you, sir, you have scolded us, and you still have to scold us with the audience? You are immoral in the five elements, you and the common people are also following you, why are you making fun of them?

Zhang Ye asked: "What is elegance? What is vulgarity?"

Yao Jiancai said: "Many people are discussing this online now."

Zhang Ye said: "We have a crosstalk actor who said that listening to symphonies is elegant, while listening to online songs is vulgar."

"Hi." Yao Jiancai shook his head.

Zhang Ye: "Listening to celebrity lip-synching is elegant, while watching online originals is vulgar."

Yao Jiancai smiled and said: "This is noisy."

Zhang Ye: "It's elegant to look at people's body and art, but it's vulgar for a couple to tell pornographic jokes." Then he said: "It's elegant to drink coffee, but it's vulgar to eat garlic..."

"babble"

The audience all laughed. Of course they had seen yesterday that Tang Dazhang and one of his apprentices said on the Internet that Zhang Ye's works were as vulgar as eating garlic.

Zhang Ye scolded: "The great man taught us...go to hell with your baby."

Yao Jiancai said: "Which great man said this?"

"My second uncle." Zhang Ye said.

"good"

"Hahaha"

"F-fuck-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t..."

The audience also followed suit.

Zhang Ye said: "I reiterate once again, elegance is not just pretending..." He emphasized his tone and cursed: "My grandson is the one who is pretending."

Tang Dazhang was furious and wanted to leave the scene.

It was also the first time for other crosstalk actors to see people saying this in a crosstalk competition.

Zhang Ye cursed continuously: "When you have some free time, why don't you talk about tongue twisters and practice basic skills? For cross talk, this is the real thing."

Yao Jiancai nodded: "That's true."

Zhang Ye became more and more interested as he talked, "Sometimes I get angry when they pretend to be me. Let's live a good life. What's wrong with us all day long? As soon as we got on the bus, it was packed like sour pears, and his face turned green. Yes, you still have to hold out an English newspaper for nothing. Do you know you?"

The audience laughed: "Hahaha"

Zhang Ye said: "There are also people talking on the street, half in Chinese and half in English."

Yao Jiancai: "Really?"

Zhang Ye: "The same goes for buying apples. Uncle 11, let me tell you, do you pay two yuan for seven pounds?" His voice changed, "You have already bought rotten apples. What else do you have to do with this?"

Yao Jiancai smiled, "Yes."

Zhang Ye said: "And the one with the big yellow chain"

An interested person suddenly discovered that a cross talk actor in his forties in the front row was wearing a big gold chain around his neck today. This person was also one of the main forces resisting Zhang Ye on Weibo. In cross talk He is very famous in the world, and he is no less senior than Tang Dazhang. He is a senior member of the Crosstalk Association.

Yao Jiancai asked: "Gold chain?"

Zhang Ye pouted: "Don't sweat, your vest will get dirty if you sweat."

Yao Jiancai shouted: "Is it faded? Isn't it gold?"

Zhang Ye said: "Plastic, injected with copper."

Yao Jiancai laughed and said: "Okay, this is too fake."

The face of the crosstalk actor hanging with a gold chain suddenly turned the color of pig liver, and he wanted to spit out a mouthful of old blood. Unexpectedly, Zhang Ye scolded him.

Zhang Ye continued to scold: "There are people, oops, I bought a shampoo, I have to go to the Hong Kong Shasha store. Come on, you don't have as much hair as Teacher Yao."

Yao Jiancai shaved his head for filming a while ago. Hearing this, he said speechlessly: "You are bald? Why should you wash your hair?"

Zhang Ye said: "That's what I'm talking about."

Down below, there were three crosstalk actors who had scolded Zhang Ye before. They all had no hair. After hearing these words, they almost rolled up their sleeves and hit them.

I don’t know what the cameraman was thinking, but he even turned the camera over. Maybe he knew it wouldn’t be broadcast live, so he subconsciously took the picture.

The expressions of the three bald crosstalk actors suddenly appeared on the big screen

The audience laughed when they saw it

"Ha ha ha ha"

"Oh I can't do it anymore"

Zhang Ye said calmly and calmly: "There are people whose pants are wet. I have to tell them, oh, it was from eating abalone... If you wet your pants, just say you wet your pants."

Yao Jiancai: "Oh"

Audience: "Pfft hahahaha"

Zhang Ye said: "There's that thing. After eating here, I signed the bill, and the waiter over there said: I'm sorry, sir, I can't sign the bill. Then I'll swipe my card..." After a pause, Zhang Ye said contemptuously: "You have a bowl of wontons and swipe it." What kind of card are you stuck in?"

Yao Jiancai was also happy: "It's not worth it."

Zhang Ye: "Jing is a big-tailed wolf, especially those in our field of cross talk, who demand elegance in this and elegance all day long. Wasn't it yesterday? The Chinese cross talk community held another meeting."

Yao Jiancai blinked and said, "They are really diligent now."

Zhang Ye smiled and said: "That's right, these people don't have any place to talk about cross talk, they only have meetings."

Yao Jiancai said: "Where did you go to practice basic skills?"

The audience laughs

Zhang Ye said: "Later there was an expert, an expert in the cross talk field, Xu Moumou."

Yao Jiancai said: "Experts don't dare to leave their full names?"

Xu Moumou?

Crosstalk master Xu Wenxiang?

Many viewers were in high spirits

Zhang Ye said: "He asked me to go home and said, Comrade Xiao Zhang, go to home and tell you what elegance and vulgarity are. It's not appropriate not to go, so go ahead."

Yao Jiancai replied: "I have to go."

Zhang Ye said: "As soon as I entered the house, hehe, there are couplets hanging on the wall of the house. The cultural atmosphere is very strong - I have been sleeping on the beach for two and a half years, and today the waves hit me and I turned over.

Yao Jiancai was confused: "Oh?"

Zhang Ye said in surprise: "When I saw it, this was a bastard."

Thousands of spectators were laughing like crazy. It’s so fucking embarrassing.

After hearing this, Xu Wenxiang below shook his beard and became furious.

The other cross talk actors and artists were also in a state of shock. Damn it, Zhang Ye, you really dare to scold anyone. Master Xu, you also dare to arrange it? ?

Yao Jiancai lamented: "Experts can guess a riddle."

Zhang Ye said: "I still have these two books on my desk at home. They are very profound. At first glance, they must be read by knowledgeable and elegant people."

Yao Jiancai asked: "What book is it?"

Zhang Ye clapped his fingers and said, "One is the Xinhua Dictionary."

Yao Jiancai nodded and said: "There are some university questions in the dictionary. It is not easy to learn them thoroughly. What about the second one?"

Zhang Ye said: "The second book is "How to Look Up a Dictionary""

Yao Jiancai fainted: "Okay, this co-author can't even read a dictionary."

Audience: "Pfft hahaha"

Zhang Ye said at a loss: "Then the old artist started to give me lessons. This must be elegant and should not be vulgar. We are playing with elegance for our lives, so we don't want to be vulgar. After talking for a long time, I didn't even finish a sentence. He also said, ah, Xiao Zhang, don’t be upset, you don’t have to be silent, but we will silence you soon, we will write anonymous letters and file reports, we will all do it, you know?”

Snitching?

Isn't this why Zhang Ye and the others were warned?

The audience booed and shouted, "Hey!"

The faces of people in the cross talk industry have changed again

Zhang Ye imitated the words and said: "The old artist also said sincerely that you may not understand me. You scold me because you don't understand me now. After you understand me...you have to kill me."

Audience: "Hahahahaha"

Yao Jiancai said: "Oh, he also knows that he attracts hatred."

Zhang Ye said: "People also say that we should work hard to be elegant and strive for success in the future. When we look down from the moon, we can't even see the earth. We see these crosstalk talkers talking about it in space. So elegant”

We could still see the Great Wall last time

This time your mother can’t even see the earth?

Thousands of people in the venue were already laughing so hard

Yao Jiancai also laughed: "The earth has been destroyed? These people are really capable of causing trouble."

Zhang Ye sighed and said: "After I came out, I said to myself, these cross talk actors in China shoot one for every two people, and there is absolutely no unjust, false or wrong case."