I’m Really a Superstar

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The atmosphere is finally hot

Those buddies who were drowsy when they first arrived are now as if they had been injected with blood, their eyes wide open and they are full of energy.

Wang Xiong smiled so hard, "This Xiao Zhang"

Feng Guiqin looked at Zhang Ye who was talking eloquently on the stage and nodded slightly.

"Let's see what he says next." Another company leader was also very excited.

Other colleagues had similar reactions. Just the opening and warm-up attracted everyone's attention.

The audience is even more so, you can tell by the shouts and applause

Zhang Ye pressed his hands and said: "Okay, thank you everyone." As soon as the applause stopped, he said seriously: "As you all know, I have come step by step to where I am today. I have my own fans and my own column, which is already considered a success. He is a successful man." He straightened his tie again, "A celebrity like me, a big star like me..."

Everyone below was booing

"babble"

"oh"

"Ha ha"

Zhang Ye blinked his big eyes in confusion and looked at the audience, "...Isn't this the point of laughter?"

"Poof!" After hearing this, the audience laughed even more.

"Okay, right?" Zhang Ye touched his forehead and said, "After today's success, I often think of all the humiliations in my childhood. When I was in school, I was bullied by boys during the day, and... rejected by girls at night. "Speaking of this, Zhang Ye coughed and sighed: "In that era when others were ostracized because they were too good, they would never have imagined that I would be where I am today." Zhang Ye looked at the camera and pointed at the camera and said solemnly. : "So today I want to say something to the camera. All those who have watched this show and have bullied me before, listen up. Your names will appear in the jokes without interruption." After saying that, he pointed twice. lens

"Hahaha"

Everyone laughed and clapped.

Of course, there are a few exceptions.

It is now trading time on the stock exchange. There are obviously several men looking down at their mobile phones, as if they are looking at stocks, all with frowns on their faces.

Zhang Ye smiled and said: "Some people may not know me or are not familiar with me yet. Let me introduce myself. My name is Zhang Ye. I am a native of Miao Hong. I have been away from Shanghai for many days. I miss myself very much. Hometown, like me and several of my colleagues are not locals in Shanghai. Whenever we miss home, for example, when I miss the capital, I go to have a roast duck by myself, like when my two colleagues from Northeast China miss home. , I just went to have a meal of dumplings to relieve my homesickness. I also have a colleague who is also my college classmate, her name is Dong Shanshan."

Dong Shanshan: “…”

Come, come, come again

Everyone in the audience wanted to laugh when they heard Dong Shanshan's name.

Wang Bei, Zhang Han and the others also looked at Dong Shanshan with a smile and touched her with their legs.

Zhang Ye said: "Dong Shanshan is from Inner Mongolia. It's a bit difficult when she misses home..." He paused and suddenly made a turn, "So every time she misses Inner Mongolia in Shanghai, she goes to the stock exchange. ." Zhang Ye waved his hand and gestured affectionately: "Look at the endless green."

Several people who were lowering their heads and cursing in their hearts why the stock price was falling every day, after hearing this sentence, they all raised their heads in an instant, and then burst out laughing while holding their stomachs.

"a ha ha ha"

"Oh, that's so funny."

"You think that's grassland?"

Even other people who don’t trade stocks were made to laugh.

The stock market is all green now and is falling every day. Zhang Ye’s joke just captured the current events everywhere. The effect of the joke is of course very good.

Dong Shanshan no longer knew what her expression was, she looked angry and funny, and the camera kept focusing on her, capturing every one of her expressions.

Wang Bei joked: "Shanshan, you must beat him when you go down."

Zhang Han was tired of laughing, "Teacher Zhang Ye is so funny. I can't laugh anymore and my jaw is frozen."

Zhang Ye's jokes are one after another, and the connection is very harmonious, without any stiff feeling. "Stocks have been falling, prices have been rising, but wages are not long. Some people have said that, in front-line cities like Beijing and Shanghai, Life in the city is too fast, is there such a saying?"

This is interaction with the audience, which is also a major feature of talk shows.

"yes."

"have."

"Yes."

The audience spoke.

Zhang Ye looked at them, "Do you all agree with this statement?" Everyone didn't understand what Zhang Ye was going to say. They all blinked and listened silently. Then Zhang Ye said: "I don't agree, and I think this This statement is very ridiculous and childish. Life in first-tier cities such as Beijing and Shanghai is too fast? People who say this must have never lived in first-tier cities." When his tone stopped, Zhang Ye suddenly said loudly with an annoyed look on his face: "It's too fast? I I want to ask if you have ever taken a bus in Beijing or Shanghai? Ah? Have you ever downloaded a film in the company office? Ah? What's the hurry?"

Everyone was stunned for a moment, then burst into laughter

Zhang Ye didn't pause, and didn't give everyone a moment of rest or dull time. "When it comes to the car problem, I thought of a CCTV morning news I saw this morning. Green travel is now advocated. Everyone has seen it, right?" "

"Looked at it."

"yes."

"This news has been repeated for several days."

the audience echoed.

Zhang Ye said with a helpless expression: "The news keeps saying that foreigners have bought cars, but they are not allowed to be driven. They keep their cars with their families, and foreigners take buses and subways when they go to work." He spread his hands as he spoke, "Okay, why don't I believe it?"

"puff"

"babble"

"Hahaha"

Zhang Ye's words "I believe it, don't you believe it?" made many people laugh.

The irony is so strong. Are you sure it's okay to say that?

Zhang Ye said innocently: "I was frugal and saved my life and finally bought a car. The TV immediately asked me to respond to the call for green travel. Well, I stopped driving. But the next day... the parking fee increased for me. I thought it would be too expensive to park the car there, and I really couldn't afford to park it, so I started driving again, but on the third day... the gas price increased to the point where I couldn't figure out with my poor math skills what the price of the car would be. Is it cheaper to park there or cheaper to drive?”

The audience laughed continuously, and these words also resonated with everyone, and they immediately gave them applause.

Zhang Ye sighed and said, "Do you know that there is a Gongti in the capital?"

"Know"

"heard about it"

the audience responded.

Zhang Ye said with a painful expression: "It's just a stadium, and football games are often held there. I'm a fan, but since the gas price rose to what it is today, I've never gone to the Workers' Stadium to watch a game. Well, it's not because of the parking. It’s too expensive or there’s no place to park. The main reason is that as soon as I drove over, tens of thousands of people in the stadium were shouting, “Go, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on. Suffocating. This joke brings up current affairs again, and it’s news in the past two days.

Wang Xiong applauded

The leader, Feng Guiqin, couldn't help but cover his mouth and smile.

Zhang Ye straightened his suit, took a breath and said, "It's not easy to live. There are sad things every day. When it comes to watching football, talking about football, I thought of a news about football betting that I saw yesterday. I heard that football We have already been involved in the investigation, everyone knows about this, right?"

"Yeah"

"heard"

The audience nodded.

Zhang Ye said: "In recent years, betting on football has been banned frequently, and it has become more and more widespread. Not only rich people bet on football, but also players have begun to bet on football." As he said, he whispered mysteriously: "I am here There is an inside information that cannot be told to others, well, of course I can’t do anything if it is broadcast on TV."

everyone laughs

Just listen to Zhang Ye say: "How ridiculous is it to say that there is a team in the domestic league? There are eleven people playing football on the field, and four of them are betting on football. It is a team, and almost half of the people are participating in betting. , and you bought your own team to lose. Hey, think about it, what’s the suspense? You will definitely lose. Four of our team members bought their own team to lose, but in the end... we didn’t lose yet."

"ha?"

"ah?"

Everyone looked at Zhang Ye on the stage in confusion.

Zhang Ye smacked his mouth and said: "Because the other team... eight people also bought them and they lost."

When everyone heard this, they burst out laughing, "Hahahaha"

Several female audience members wiped their eyes with napkins and laughed until they burst into tears.

This is a joke from Zhou Libo's "One Zhou Libo Show", but Zhang Ye changed it a bit. Zhang Ye concluded: "So the current situation of Chinese football can basically be described as follows: the Football Association deceives the clubs - this is called management, the clubs deceive the players - this is called operations, the players deceive football - this is called personality, the Football Association, clubs and Players fooling fans together - this is called Chinese football."

This passage is very meaningful.

Some people don't understand until they think about it, and they are afraid to immediately start shouting, "Well said"

The applause lasted for a long time

Feng Guiqin's eyes lit up

Wang Xiong and another leader next to him also

They thought Zhang Ye was just some jokes with a twist, but they didn't expect that after taking a closer look, they could find something so interesting.

Zhang Ye estimated that the number of words in this chapter... was almost over, so he said: "After talking about the recent news, let's talk about the weather. The weather is getting colder and colder. It's almost the end of the year, and the annual Spring Festival is here again. I believe that all comrades who have experienced the Spring Festival transportation should have a deep understanding. Last year, probably around the time of the Chinese New Year, a major murder occurred in a certain province, and the suspect was at large. The local police chief said firmly when interviewed by reporters, " Our investigation department expected that the suspect would not be able to escape our province. Sure enough, a few days later, the suspect was arrested. A reporter asked him why he hadn't escaped after so many days. The suspect couldn't help but yell, "You think I don't want to run away? I'm here!" I queued for three days at the train station and couldn't buy a ticket. This is just a joke to commemorate the heroes who got train tickets during the Spring Festival... Of course, I don't need to grab a ticket. I have such an identity. People, they all fly.”

"babble"

"babble"

"Blow it"

Everyone laughed and booed

Zhang Ye bowed slightly, "Okay, today's Zhang Ye Talk Show ends here. I am your host Zhang Ye. I wish you all a happy weekend."