I’m Really a Superstar

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Great Hall.

"the judge?"

"Okay, the finals are over."

"Okay, the scores have been tallied."

"I announce that the winner of this year's Beijing Couplet Competition is... Teacher Zhang Ye"

As soon as the host said something, the audience below burst into warm applause and screamed. It was really lively below. Even in the contestant seats next to the rostrum, many contestants from the Federation of Literary and Art Circles applauded Zhang Ye heartily, and some even gave him a thumbs up with a smile. There was nothing I could do about it. Zhang Ye deserved everyone's praise. This is also the weirdest couplet contest in recent years. Why is it weird? Needless to say, because all the questions were answered by Zhang Ye alone, this time only Zhang Ye was the winner, while the runner-up and third place did not appear at all, and the other 49 contestants all received zero points. points

Isn’t this worthy of applause?

Isn’t this worthy of everyone’s admiration?

Only Da Lei did not move or applaud

Zheng Anbang and many people from the Beijing Writers Association also looked bad. They didn't give Zhang Ye any applause. They just bowed to their own affairs and were very small-minded.

Zhang Ye saw this scene and smiled coldly.

The female host smiled and said: "Please invite Teacher Zhang to come to the stage to receive the award."

Zhang Ye stood up, walked around to the side and walked onto the stage, smiling at the two hosts.

Over there, Mr. Qian and two other judges also came up. The trophies were prepared in advance, but three of them were prepared. When the staff brought it up, Mr. Qian only took one of them, and the other two runner-up and third runner-up were obviously not needed. To be honest, this is the first time that they have given out such an award that overwhelms the others. One person defeated all the contestants with an overwhelming advantage. This is unprecedented in the history of the Couplet Competition.

"Teacher Xiao Zhang, congratulations." Mr. Qian gave him the trophy.

Zhang Ye took it and said, "Thank you, the judges and teachers, for your affirmation."

Qian Lao smiled and said: "It's not our affirmation, it's your honor. And I believe no one can say anything. This is the most unsuspicious Couplet Competition championship."

The audience is laughing, yes, it is really the least suspenseful session ever

The female host said: "Teacher Zhang, would you like to give a few acceptance speeches?"

"Well, are you sure you want me to talk?" Zhang Ye blinked.

The male host let out a sigh, so what else is there to be sure about? Doesn’t everyone who wins an award give a speech? Thank friends, leaders, parents, etc.?

The female host knew what Zhang Ye meant by this, "This..."

"Okay, let me say a few words." Zhang Ye turned to face everyone, paused for a second, and said, "I remember before... someone said I cheated?"

If everyone laughs, it will be a joke.

The only people left in the Beijing Writers Association had bad expressions, thinking, "You're done?" It’s all over and you still mention it? Why are you so petty?

But in fact, Zhang Ye is a petty person. The more some people don't want him to mention it, the more this guy wants to mention it, "I want to know who reported me, and I also want to ask who said I cheated on stage before. That comrade from the Beijing Writers Association, the judges, teachers, and comrades from the Federation of Literary and Art Circles didn’t check it out, and finally let me compete. Why did you say so definitely that I cheated as soon as you came on stage?” He stared at the Writers Association in the audience at a glance. The young man asked, "Do you have to apologize to me? This is the most basic courtesy, right?"

The young man stared at him with a black face, paralyzed, should I apologize? Why?

A woman from the Federation of Literary and Art Circles looked at him and said, "Xiaowu, you really should explain it to everyone."

"Apologise, Xiaowu." Another person from the Federation of Literary and Art Circles said: "This is a live broadcast, and everyone is watching it. What you said on stage before was really inappropriate and too arbitrary. It also caused damage to Teacher Zhang's reputation. The impact, this means that Teacher Zhang Ye turned the situation around and proved that he did not cheat. Otherwise, the consequences would be disastrous. Just what you said is enough to ruin a person."

The young man named Wu just refused to go and closed his eyes shamelessly.

Zhang Ye laughed and said, "Today is the couplet competition. It doesn't matter if you don't apologize. I'll give you a couplet."

Send couplets?

Are you still sending couplets at this time?

Everyone was a little dazed and a little curious about what Zhang Ye was going to say.

Zhang Ye said the next moment: "No matter how big or small a rat is, it is called old." Because they are all called rats.

In the next couplet, Zhang Ye smiled and said: "There are male and female turtles, and their surname is Wu" because they are all called turtles.

When the young man named Wu heard this, he almost vomited three liters of blood. Zhang Ye, uncle, you are so cruel. He was so angry that he almost screamed and his face turned green. This was a live broadcast. Hundreds of thousands of people were watching. He was scolding like this in public. Own? The young man couldn't wait to find a crack in the ground and crawl into it. He thought he would not apologize until he died, so what can you do? But he forgot that this person was not an ordinary person, but the notorious Zhang Ye who dared to publicly scold the leader and the unit during the Silver Microphone Award Ceremony. His mouth was poisonous and his heart was even more poisonous. At this moment, the young man really regretted it. , numbness, if I had known this, I might as well have gone up and apologized.

The male host was stunned and said, "Teacher Zhang"

The female host was not surprised at all. She knew Zhang Ye's bad deeds, so she quickly touched Zhang Ye's shoes with her foot and quietly said in a low voice, "Teacher, you..."

The audience was also confused

But Zhang Ye wasn't done yet, and continued: "I was recommended to participate in this competition by the Beijing Writers' Association. For winning this championship, I also want to thank them and the Writers' Association for selecting me and supporting me. I also sent a couplet." Let’s go.” He paused and then recited, “The bull’s head is so happy that it has the dragon’s horns.”

This sentence is quite common, and no one saw the problem.

But Zhang Ye's second line made everyone faint, "Has a dog's mouth ever spit out ivory?"

Leaders and members of the Beijing Writers Association: "..."

Everyone in the Federation of Literary and Art Circles covered their mouths and laughed incessantly. They thought it was so interesting and the scolding was so immoral.

Of course Zhang Ye wanted to scold him. It was obvious from the fact that he came to compete this time. None of the people in the Beijing Writers Association had good intentions. They made things difficult for him and played dirty tricks at every turn. If Zhang Ye hadn't had an idea, he would have been almost destroyed by them. He lost his reputation and almost ruined his career as an artist. If the stain of cheating was placed on Zhang Ye, he would never be able to clean it up for the rest of his life. How much hatred is this? Of course he wants to find his place again

curse?

It's not like I haven't scolded you before

What happened to the live broadcast? You are the ones scolding

At this time, Meng Dongguo, the vice chairman of the Beijing Writers' Association, came out of the backstage at some unknown time. Hearing Zhang Ye's open attack on their Writers' Association, he became furious. Regardless of whether it was live broadcast or not, he grabbed a microphone and talked to Zhang Ye in the audience. Ye carried it on, and he also said: "Zhang Ye, can't you guess the couplet? Then I will also give you a question, please listen to me. Two apes broke a tree in the mountains, and a little monkey dared to saw each other?" "This first couplet has a homophonic sound. "Dui saw" is also a "couple". This is a scolding of Zhang Ye.

Zhang Ye was amused. He happened to have this first couplet when he was searching in his memory. He immediately countered: "Then you should listen to me. How can an old beast get out of trouble when a horse is stuck in the mud?" To get out of the way is equivalent to asking a question.

"good"

“Yes, so beautiful”

"Hahahahaha I'm so happy"

"Teacher Zhang Ye is amazing."

Some people in the audience couldn't help but laugh out loud

Meng Dongguo: "...mn)*mn"

Vice Chairman Meng's couplet skills are not that deep, otherwise he would have participated in the competition, so he couldn't stand up to Zhang Ye and was defeated as soon as he made a move.

But Zhang Ye did not let him go, "Since you have asked a question, I will also ask a question, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven."

Huh?

What kind of question is this?

It’s rare for a couplet to be stuck on seven. If you want to make a first couplet, it’s also 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, right? Why did you forget a horoscope?

Then Zhang Ye looked at him, "Can you come out? Then let me give you a couplet, filial piety, loyalty, trust, courtesy, justice and integrity."

its not right

The second line is wrong too.

Filial piety, loyalty, propriety, justice and integrity? Where's the shame? Why don't you feel ashamed?

But where are the fools present? Several contestants pondered for a moment and then analyzed the metaphor of this couplet in a dumbfounded way, "The first couplet forgot one? The second couplet lost one shame,? This is...forgetting (Wang ) Eight shameless? I’m sweating”

Bastard?

Shameless?

Meng Dongguo Fei almost exploded with anger. Are you swearing at someone named Zhang?

The male host was sweating profusely and hurriedly tried to stop the fight: "Two teachers, two teachers, please say a few words less, say a few words less, the camera is still..." This is a scholar who doesn't use curse words to curse people.

Meng Dongguo ignored it and said directly to Zhang Ye: "On this occasion, you openly insulted the Beijing Writers Association, insulted the staff of our Writers Association, and insulted the unit that recommended you? Okay, okay, I can clearly put my words here now, No matter how talented you are, our Beijing Writers Association will not accept you."

Did you file the complaint first?

Are you still being rational?

When you want to step on me, you step on me and when I fight back, you start to use excuses to oppress me again? Just because you are an authoritative unit, you all take charge? Fuck your mother

Zhang Ye was so ridiculous that he shook the microphone in his hand and looked at the angry or speechless people from the Beijing Writers Association. He said the last paragraph. This paragraph was a limerick and the source was from his world. Famous crosstalk performing artist——Guo Degang. Guo Degang's limericks are unique in Zhang Ye's world and are very controversial. Especially the one that scolded the leaders of Beijing TV Station, which aroused criticism from many people in the industry. However, Zhang Ye chose another famous limerick by Lao Guo today, which was written in The jokes Guo Degang wrote after being rejected by the Spring Festival Gala are very flavorful and interesting.

"The early wind is biting and the fog is hazy. The grass is dying so wildly that it is difficult to distinguish the terraces of wild shops. The plum blossoms are like cut outs, and the desolation is all outside the wall. The ice and sky are like jade bricks, and the silver branches are like powder. The brocade is trampled white with snow, and it blooms. My horizons are too small to be good, I traveled all over the rivers and rivers and came back from the river, and my poem became a poem. After drinking, the world still feels narrow."

When it comes to this, many people don't understand it.

What kind of poem is this? Doggerel?

Zhang Ye can also write limericks? This is really the first time for them to hear it

However, they all understood the poem written by Zhang Ye, and they all laughed loudly, "The sound of the wind blowing in the bamboos returns to the Xiaoyuan, and the moon moves the shadows of the flowers to illuminate the Yao stairs. Full of tranquility, sighing that all life is filled with fame and fortune." "Here, Zhang Ye squinted his eyes and looked at Meng Dongguo and the people from the Writers' Association, "Just open your drunken eyes slightly and let your success or failure..." He let out a laugh and said, "I don't want to come either."

You don’t like to come either?

They just said they wouldn't let you join and you wrote a limerick like this?

Hahaha, I don’t like it. So many viewers were entertained all at once.