The Hero Who Returned From Death Quits

59 – EP4: Crossroads of Life and Death

After dealing with countless pouring monsters, I pondered.

There’s a scent of malevolence.

A sensation that someone is plotting something, much like the scenes I witnessed upon returning to my former homeland.

For a moment, I began contemplating the reasons and motivations behind such occurrences.

However, suddenly a thought came to me.

Why am I thinking about such things? I am no longer a warrior. As long as my hometown is safe, I have no reason to worry about others.

Then why am I so troubled?

…I don’t know. Even if this is part of some plan, it surely has nothing to do with me. Is it because the instincts from my time as a warrior still linger, or am I just foolishly entertaining other thoughts?

I snapped my fingers and retrieved the Death Knight, putting away my armor and bow.

And I looked in the direction where Saein had swung her sword.

As if a landslide had occurred, only one part of it remained smooth and flat within my sight.

It wasn’t a strike filled with full strength, just a moderately powerful attack, but it seemed extraordinary simply because it was her sword.

I exhaled lightly and turned my head. The time for lamenting my lack of talent was long gone. There is no meaning in gazing at distant heights that cannot be reached.

Instead, I approached her, wiping the blood off my own sword.

“…Good work.”

She looked at me and hesitated again.

“Um, yeah. You too.”

Hm, it seems like she feels more guilt than I expected. It’s a bit strange, honestly, to be so bothered by an old incident that I don’t even remember well.

I tried to ignore it and redirected the conversation.

“Now, let’s start heading back. It took about an hour…including the time we spent chasing the remaining enemies.”

To be clear, it took about an hour in total. While monsters can be difficult to deal with in large numbers, as long as it’s not a populated area and we have enough strength, it’s not too hard to handle.

In other words, the attacks we unleashed without worrying about measuring our strength were enough to deal with the monsters.

I teleported both Saein and myself back to the village.

And as we resumed patrolling, she spoke to me.

“…It’s really peaceful here. Now I understand why you missed this village.”

I looked at her for a moment. Then, I smiled lightly and said.

“Yeah. It’s peaceful. Enough to wash away even the unpleasant memories.”

After finishing our patrol, Saein and I returned home together.

…

In the darkness, Saein realized that her body was bound.

Of all things, it was another dream.

She tried to wake up with all her might, but no matter how much she twisted her body, she couldn’t move an inch.

“You know it’s meaningless, right?”

Kikikik, she heard a mocking laughter.

“Ah, it’s quite pitiful… He forgave the very person involved, and yet… still trapped in the past like this, isn’t it embarrassing?”

She recognized the voice mocking herself. It was Angel’s voice, but slightly different in tone, a fantasy created by her guilt.

“How foolish, truly. And if you were going to feel so sorry, you shouldn’t have done it from the beginning. Why misunderstand him, or rather ‘me,’ and now regret it?”

The voice mocking herself continued. She tightly closed her eyes, but the voice couldn’t be silenced.

“What good does it do to close your eyes and avoid it out of fear? Where is the valiant golden lion of the Empire, hmm?”

She bit her lip.

“Why crumble when faced with humiliation? Is it tormenting you? But what can you do? Angel must have endured more humiliation because of you.”

She finally spoke, “I, I didn’t know…”

“Oh, is that so?”

The voice mocking herself chuckled.

“Well, even if you weren’t proactive, if you had just passively stepped forward to protect him, Angel would have been fine. You’re quite audacious, don’t you think?”

“I, I… I thought he had really done something wrong…”

“Oh, I see. But you know… that’s your situation. So, what’s the result? Angel had to endure countless suffering and was even driven out of the Empire after defeating the Demon King. The hero who saved the world, all because of you. It’s ironic, isn’t it?”

After saying this, the voice touched her neck.

“Beasts like you live like heroes in the Empire, receiving special treatment… while the ungrateful wretch who endured real suffering is so pitiful… all because of you.”

The voice removed her eyelids by force and said, “Well, it doesn’t matter. You’ll have a nightmare again tonight. You’ll keep seeing that moment when you stabbed Angel.”

She lowered her head.

…

I watched Seine, who was moaning.

Seine was covered in cold sweat and appeared to be having a nightmare.

I could have left her alone since my parents were sleeping in their bedroom, but watching her struggle like this made me uncomfortable.

I approached her.

I removed her pillow and gently laid her head on my lap. I stroked her hair.

I didn’t know what else to do, and I did all I could – to comfort her as much as possible.

After how long I’d been stroking her hair, she began to wake up.

She squinted her eyes and slowly realized her situation.

“Wh-what!?”

She abruptly sat up and I spoke,

“Shh, don’t wake up our parents. It seems like you had a nightmare, so you should rest comfortably. There wasn’t any special reason.”

“…Oh, alright. I was just startled. Thank you.”

I replied, seeing her anxious expression.

I don’t know what kind of nightmare she had to react like that. What’s certain is that nightmares are psychologically unfavorable. Especially if they persist. If such incidents continue to happen, even dreams can’t be a place of rest.

I looked at her with a worried expression.

“…Are you feeling better now?”

“…Yeah.”

She said with a complicated expression.

…

I was still trapped in the nightmare, endlessly reliving that terrible moment.

“Look. Look straight ahead. It’s because of your recklessness that it turned out like this.”

The voice that shook me, and the memories that continued to haunt me, each felt like an oppressive and endless stretch of time.

But I couldn’t help it. Just because I have these nightmares doesn’t mean I have the right to complain. Who am I supposed to complain to? Angel? To tell myself that scenes of myself stabbing myself continue to appear in nightmares and it’s difficult?

I just felt pain. I couldn’t bear all those forgotten and unforgettable pasts, each one filled with regret.

And then, somehow, I felt a hand that comforted my heart, even just a little bit.

I saw the darkness of my nightmares disperse.

Instead, I saw a refreshing mountain breeze brushing against my heart.

Why?

Since the day I confirmed the truth, there hasn’t been a single day when I could sleep peacefully. I was tormented by nightmares that made me recall the painful past every day, and even if I woke up, my life was nothing short of hell.

I thought the wind was caressing my hair.

A comfortable feeling gradually enveloped me.

And when I opened my eyes, I saw Angel’s face.

White hair. Tattoos covering half of his body.

The last image I saw.

I stood up in shock. Only then did I realize that I had been resting my head on his lap.

“It seems like you had a nightmare, so you should rest comfortably.”

After that, he continued speaking, but I couldn’t hear it in my ears.

In my heart, I wanted to say this.

Why are you treating me so kindly? You’re not someone who deserves such kindness. I’m the one who killed you and even agreed to be banished, so I’m not in a position to receive this favor from you, am I? If I had faced your anger, I would have faced it.

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However, he smiled and said, “Have you truly calmed down?”

He asked me if I had truly calmed down. To be honest, even if I claimed to have escaped the influence of nightmares, his kindness only made my heart ache more.

Even after you stabbed me in the back and witnessed my reluctance to assist you with false accusations, you still treated me with kindness, consideration, and gentleness.

And the more you did, the more I became aware of my own depravity, causing me even greater torment.

I only watched your back as you left this small house for a while. It was only then that I could gather my thoughts.