The Hero Who Returned From Death Quits

Chapter 57

57 – EP4. Crossroads of Life and Death

“…Drink.”

I offered Sain a cup of tea.

As I watched Sain carefully take the cup, I sighed inwardly. My parents insisted that I stay with Sain, saying that since I knew her, it would be best. Honestly, it felt a little awkward.

After pouring my share of tea, I sat at the table.

“…I’d prefer if you postponed taking my life for later. If I die like this, I’ll become an ingrate.”

I looked into Sain’s eyes and spoke. If Sain had made up her mind to kill me, there would be no escape. Honestly, I felt it would be a bit of a waste to die like this.

Sain spoke with trembling eyes.

“…No, no. I didn’t come for that…”

I stared at her intently. Her bewildered expression was noticeable.

“No? I thought maybe the Emperor asked you to kneel and beg him to kill me. You must know that I killed Countess Serindel.”

Sain lowered her head and said to me.

“Of course, I knew, but I didn’t come because of that.”

I raised an eyebrow.

“Then?”

If she didn’t come to take my life or to reproach me for something, what did she come for? Her final gaze at me didn’t seem particularly graceful either.

Sain cautiously spoke.

“I saw your record in… a fragment of the broken Holy Sword.”

I was at a loss for words.

…Wow, this is quite surprising.

From Noble mtl dot com

“I, I didn’t know you were… like that, and I felt guilty for driving you away like that…”

Sain couldn’t even finish her sentence properly, stumbling over her words.

I just stared at her in a daze.

“You died multiple times because of me… I… I came to apologize.”

I looked at her.

“Um… I’m sorry for dying for you. It’s been so long that I don’t remember it well.”

Actually, the memories were somewhat hazy, but I couldn’t recall the exact circumstances. A lot of time must have passed.

“So… um, I came to apologize? So, what… if I do that, will it be over, the matter?”

Instead of responding to her with a throbbing headache, I chose to forgive her and put an end to the matter. To be honest, there wasn’t much to forgive in the first place. I hadn’t harbored negative feelings.

Sain stared at me with a blank expression.

What’s with that look? Why does forgiving her make me feel like I’m tormenting myself?

I spoke cautiously.

“…I’m really okay, so don’t worry. Honestly, I regretted it almost every day. Why did I come to the Empire? Why did I become a hero… I used to think that way. Now, even though it may not be glamorous, I find satisfaction in living peacefully back in my hometown.”

As I said this, Sain’s expression grew even worse. What did I say wrong?

“…Are you really okay even after everything, even though you were betrayed by the people you helped?”

Sain said with an almost teary expression.

“…Yeah, I’m really okay. Honestly, I regretted it almost every day. Why did I come to the Empire? Why did I become a hero… I used to think that way. Now, even though it may not be glamorous, I find satisfaction in living peacefully back in my hometown.”

Sain started to shed tears.

“I’m, I’m sorry… really… I, I truly…”

I decided to just keep my mouth shut. In my own way, I was trying to show that I was okay, but her reaction left me feeling strange.

“We fought together for years… I didn’t know you were suffering so much, fighting alone…”

Didn’t know? No, you didn’t know. The time she spent with me was much longer than the time she knows.

I thought it would be better to speak briefly rather than say unnecessary things.

“…To be honest, if you haven’t seen all of my records… it would be better to stop looking. It’s not a pleasant sight. It’s okay to just believe that I’m a traitor to the end. There are many shameful moments.”

I added.

“…And what the Emperor said is not entirely wrong. Regardless of the reasons, I’ve killed Imperial citizens. So… I’m really okay. Please go back to where you belong. This isn’t the place for you.”

I served Sain a bowl of stew and then put my share on the table.

“Of course, I’m not telling you to leave right now. I can offer a meal and a night’s stay anytime. But even then, if you want to stay here, I can’t stop you, but I don’t want any more connections with the Empire.”

I then scooped the stew with a spoon and put it in my mouth. Is it a bit salty?

Sain nodded cautiously and said.

“…Alright.”

…

The journey to find him was not easy.

It wasn’t due to the abundance of enemies. The reason I considered this journey difficult was that it made me feel uncomfortable.

Just thinking about Angel made my heart churn.

He still dreamed of dreaming of him, scolding himself.

But when he dreamed such dreams, he felt a little lighter guilt in his chest, as if it was fading away even a little.

I thought for a moment if I had developed a self-destructive desire.

Well, one thing is certain, I consider myself a sinner.

In fact, my plan was to go and apologize to him, but I didn’t expect forgiveness. Even if he poured out tremendous anger and hatred towards himself, it would have been okay. I deserved that kind of treatment. I’m just a sinner.

So I arrived in his hometown to find him.

Honestly, his hometown was not rustic but rather shabby. It had a peaceful atmosphere, but I didn’t think it was a place where a hero who defeated the demon king would live.

Anyway, I grabbed one of the people around me and said.

“Um… is Ainzel here? I came to say something to him.”

Upon hearing those words, the person looked surprised and said.

“Huh, this jerk Ainzel comes back from the empire and what mischief did he do? Wait a moment. I don’t know why someone like you, dressed so flamboyantly, is looking for people in our town… Ah, maybe you’re trying to harm him. Move away from him. He’s the most beloved worker in our village.”

I nodded my head.

And after waiting for who knows how long, when I was getting tired of hearing the whispers from the people of this town as they looked at me, his face appeared.

As soon as I saw his face, it felt like my breath was cut off. I couldn’t face him.

But I had to face his face and speak honestly. I had to apologize.

I looked straight at him.

Ainzel ran up to me and said with an astonished expression.

“…Sein?”

I greeted him.

“Hello, Ainzel? I came to say something.”

I felt the greatest tension in my life. What kind of reaction would he show? Well, he would probably get angry. It would be the same if I were in his shoes.

But Ainzel showed an unexpected reaction.

“Oh, yeah. Hi? What’s the sudden occasion?”

He didn’t get angry at himself, nor did he spit at him. He just casually met himself with the same nonchalant face as the day he left.

“Ainzel, do you know this person?”

A woman approached him and asked. Ainzel blinked his eyes slightly and said.

“Oh, yes. We were colleagues when I worked in the empire.”

“Oh, I see. But it looks like you’re from a noble family, how did you two meet?”

“I’ll explain that later… So, why did you suddenly come here?”

Ainzel said that, and I was secretly shocked. Could it be that he didn’t even inform his family that he was a hero?

Perhaps he didn’t even realize that he wanted to erase his past as a hero.

I said,

“… I came because I have something to say. Can you spare a moment?”

As Angel contemplated, the woman who had seemed like Angel’s mother earlier spoke to Angel.

“Angel! Since a guest has come all this way, you shouldn’t treat them lightly. Have your conversation alone at home. We’ll discreetly leave you two alone.”

Angel scratched his head and began to guide me to his home.

Then, he prepared tea and said,

“…I hope they delay taking my life. If I die like this, I’ll be a filial son.”

I felt like the heavens were collapsing at his words.

I tried to deny what he said.

Angel addressed me with an almost emotionless, calm demeanor, which only made my heart ache more.

And finally, these words escaped Angel’s lips.

“So… um, I came to apologize? So, what… if I do this, will it be over?”

He forgave himself. Too easily.

It wasn’t right. He wasn’t someone who should be forgiven so easily.

However, he forgave himself.

It felt like my insides were burning. I didn’t want forgiveness. More accurately, I didn’t want to be forgiven.