Picking the stars

The sunlight came in from the balcony, spread out on the ground, and extended in front of them. It was golden, with warmth and light that dispelled the darkness.

But Pei Ji felt that the darkness that had only receded in her life was gathering again. Her face and lips were all red, and her body was cold. She subconsciously reached out to grab something in the palm of her hand, but there was nothing on the sofa.

She unconsciously retracted her hand, grabbed her other hand, and kept wringing. Those two words were magnified in her mind, and she later felt the buzzing in her ears.

"Is it because I didn't listen to you?" Her lips trembled, and she forgot to calm herself down, at least to look more mature and decent.

Song Wei shook her head. She didn't dare to look at her, but said: "It's because of..."

Pei Ji's cell phone was turned off, and it was buckled upside down on the table. Not long ago, Sun Peiye's voice roared at the other end. You and she are not the same.

Song Er's eyes stayed on the phone for a while, then he moved away, and said calmly, "Because I'm tired."

Pei Ji was originally looking at Song Ye, thinking that no matter what Song Ye said it was because of, she could change it. Because she was just disobedient and refused to go to West Africa, she can change it, because she is not independent enough and too clingy, she can also change it, and she can change any place that makes Song Wei think of breaking up.

But Song Er said that she was tired.

Pei Ji's straight back collapsed. The kitten is tired, how can she change...

Song Er went on to say: "We will be apart for a while, and I will wait for you to come back. At that time, if you still have me in your heart, we will be together again."

In her mouth, years have become a period of time, and separation has become an easy task. Pei Ji couldn't believe that this was what her kitten said, but this person was indeed in front of her, still the face she loved so much, just saying something to hurt her.

As if worried that she would object, Song Er said quickly: "That's it."

After speaking, he stood up and walked away from Pei Ji's side.

Pei Ji sat there alone for a long time, sitting until the sun dimmed, and sitting until night fell.

The sound of turning on the light sounded abruptly in the dark house.

The ceiling light came on, Pei Ji narrowed her eyes reflexively to adapt to the light, and she looked towards the stairs.

Song Er came down from upstairs.

Pei Ji stood up and looked at her intently. Song Wei changed her clothes. She should have taken a shower. Her body was a little more energetic, but her complexion was more haggard than in the morning, her eyes were swollen, and her eyebrows could not be washed. Go tired.

She stopped in front of Pei Ji.

Pei Ji's heart raised it high, hoping that she would say something, but Song Wei said nothing. He left in front of her, walked to the hallway, opened the door, and was about to leave.

Pei Ji was flustered for a while, she opened her mouth anxiously, with a panic and showing weakness that she didn't even realize, she stopped Song Er.

"Kitten." She still called Song Er that way.

Song Er stopped and stood at the door with his back to her.

Pei Ji stopped her, but didn't know what to say. She wanted to beg her to take back the breakup, she would listen to her and leave here. But no, because Kitty is very determined, she has already decided.

Probably she was silent for too long, making her kitten impatient, Song Er turned her back and said, "If it's okay..."

Pei Ji was flustered, his head was blank, and the words blurted out: "I love you."

Song Er did not respond to her, nor turned her head. She paused for a second, opened the door, and walked out.

The sound of the door closing again came and fell into Pei Ji's ears, making her soul seem to tremble.

The benefits of slow feelings are reflected. Pei Ji feels dazed, suffocated, and reluctant, but he hasn't tasted the pain of being left behind by a beloved and convincing person.

She also left the house, called a car, and came to the research institute in the dark.

Many reporters squatted outside the academy. Seeing her finally appeared, they surrounded her, and the microphone couldn't wait to catch her face. Fortunately, a security guard saw Pei Ji and hurriedly brought people to rescue her.

"Professor Pei, why did you come directly!" The incident of being forced out of the closet was so violent. Of course, the security had heard of it. While guarding her to walk inside, he told her, "When you are leaving, you know Say it to me so I can arrange a car for you."

Pei Ji said: "Okay."

There is no difference from usual.

She walked to the office, turned on the computer, typed to submit the application report to West Africa, and then thought about how to arrange the several projects she was working on.

She stayed in the office for a long time, until the early morning when the hunger that had not eaten for a long time suddenly came and raged, causing her stomach to ache sharply.

Pei Ji stopped, opened the drawer, and took out a bucket of instant noodles.

Just about to soak, she thought of something. She glanced at the production date and found out that it had expired for two months.

She used to stay very late in the research institute, and was inevitably hungry at night, so she put some savoury food. But after meeting Song Ye, she had a home, and she had a worry in her heart. She would return home after get off work. Even though Song Ye was often busy later on, they always gathered together and left a lot. There was no one waiting for her at home, Pei Ji still Habitually take work home to do it.

She hasn't stayed here for a long time until the early hours of the morning.

Pei Ji suddenly wanted to go home.

She remembered that she had asked for marriage. She took out the ring from her pocket and held it in her hand. The hard material made her hands hurt.

She finally felt afterwards that her heart seemed to be torn apart, and her sad emotions seemed to crush her. The person she cherished, loved, and embedded in her heart finally gave up her and left her.

She has no home.

The leaders of the academy are keen on scientific research, but they hesitate when encountering the disturbances of the entertainment industry. The dean didn't understand, why we Professor Pei just had a relationship and we were questioned about academic misconduct.

He hurriedly sent a statement to people, explaining that Pei Ji's academic theories and scientific research results were all without any problems.

However, it didn't work. Those who slander her can't understand high-end theories, and have no patience to understand the facts. They are either angry, discriminatory, or simply hate people who are better than them for no reason. With the addition of people who deliberately stir the muddy water, public opinion is even more chaotic.

The dean saw Pei Ji, sighed for a while, and said: "Why are you..." He was like an older person, and after thinking about it for a long time, he said tactfully, "It doesn't matter if you like women, but she and you It’s not all the same, you can’t get along.

Pei Ji's stomach hurt sharply again. She didn't tell anyone that she and Song Wei were no longer together. When she heard such words, she didn't know how to refute, but just said: "We are fine, we are all the same, I like her very much."

But I don't know if it is for others or for myself, as if saying "We are fine" ten thousand times, she and Song Er are really good, and Song Er is still her little cat.

Her application report was approved quickly, and her departure date was quickly set.

This time/>

The day she left, it happened to be the first snow, and it was Christmas in two days. The first snow in previous years was not so early.

Pei Ji was at the airport, looking through the glass of the heavy snow outside. He wondered what the kitten was doing. In which city she is now, did she see the snow?

Every time I think about it, my heart hurts deep into my bone marrow, like a wound, constantly tearing, never healed again.

Song Wei saw Pei Ji again on TV. It was the day she left. CCTV reporters were at the airport to interview Pei Ji's understanding of the virus.

Pei Ji stood there standing there, facing the microphone, in her usual calm tone, meticulously speaking a large section of technical terms that ordinary people would not understand.

The reporter was confused when he heard it, and had to pretend to be very understanding, smiling and cheering.

Pei Ji's eyes were still pure and stubborn, as if they had not been polluted. She nodded and turned her body sideways. The reporter thought she was going to end the interview and said with a smile: "I wish Professor Pei a smooth trip."

Pei Ji suddenly looked at the camera.

This piece of news was not a live broadcast, but when Pei Ji looked straight over, it was as if he was looking at Song Ye.

Song Er's heart trembled as she waited for Pei Ji to speak.

But Pei Ji didn't say anything, her bright eyes dimmed suddenly, as if covered with dust, and silently left the shooting range.

After this piece of news was broadcast, the slander of Pei Ji disappeared overnight.

Soon the New Year came, and Song Er went home alone. On New Year’s Eve, Xia Qing performed her annual dumpling-making activity at home with a sense of ritual.

Song Wei was on the side to help. She was absent-minded and looked at her phone from time to time.

Xia Qing adjusted the fillings and started to wrap them skillfully, except that the dumplings they made looked mediocre.

There was the sound of TV in the living room, and the party started. Song Jueming was answering the phone and kept saying happy new year to different people.

Although only a family of three, it is lively and warm.

Song Wei was making dumplings, and it was inevitable that she remembered what she had said to the professor. When she came to her house during the New Year, the professor envied Pei Yi to eat dumplings wrapped in coins every year. She thought at the time that she would make the professor make them.

They hadn’t seen each other for three months. Song Wei didn’t stop thinking about it every second. Every moment in life seemed to be related to Pei Ji. It reminded her that that day, Pei Ji was behind her, stopped her and said, I love you.

And she didn't even dare to turn around to face her.

How should I put it, she was the one who kept talking about being apart for a while, and it was her who said the word kitten when the professor uttered the word cat, and it was also her who burst into tears.

"How long does it take Xiaoji to go to such a far place? Isn't it inconvenient to contact?" Xia Qing said at home, making dumplings while drinking Song Wei and sighed, "I saw her last time, and I said to come to our house during the New Year. Come, I'm looking forward to it. The New Year with four people is much more lively than three people."

She doesn't know yet, she and Pei Ji are separated. Song Er didn't say anything.

"She wants to come too." Song Er said.

She was in a depressed mood. Of course Xia Qing found out. At first, she thought it was because Pei Ji was going to go for many years. Song Ye would inevitably miss it. But when he looked closely, he didn’t feel like it. Song Ye was in a complete depression. It's like being crushed.

"Mom, at the hospital last time, when you left, you didn't seem to be at ease. What were you worried about then?" Song Wei asked.

It's been half a year for such a long time.

Xia Qing remembers quite clearly: "I just wanted to say that you and Professor Pei are not like people in the same world. The circle you are in is completely incompatible with her. I am worried that you will have conflicts sooner or later. But, let me think about it, Professor Pei’s stubborn character is not someone who will give up easily. Even if there is any contradiction, she will definitely let you. Between people who like each other, as long as they don’t separate, they can talk about everything and they can always pass. Yes, I didn't say it."

Before she could finish her words, Song Er felt as if she had swallowed a piece of ice, and her hands and feet were cold.

It turns out that everyone saw their inappropriateness and knew that they were not in the same world, and only she figured it out so late.

The photo was shot by an actress who partially overlapped with her positioning. She found it almost on the day the photo was released.

She still remembered the feeling of chills all over her body.

It's not that she doesn't know that this circle is dirty and gloomy, and that the methods are used, she just suddenly realized that the problem between her and the professor is not only about gathering less and more.

She only made a decision a few days ago to reduce the announcement, reduce the schedule, use half of the future, and exchange more time with the professor.

But this incident made her realize that this is useless.

From her recovery to the entertainment industry, there have always been conflicts between them. No matter how she coordinated with the professor, how she tried her best to improve, the result was powerless, as if we were able to comfort each other today, and we would fall into negative emotions tomorrow. .

At that time, she only wondered if it was because of gathering less and more separation, or if it would be better to spend more time together.

It wasn't until the photo broke that she realized that the problem between them was that they were from two worlds, and their environments were very different. Just like Professor Sun denounced on the phone, they were not the same.

She continues to be a singer and stays in the circle. It is impossible to guarantee that there will be other things in the future. If she is alone, she is not afraid, but there is a professor, she can’t bet, she doesn’t want to see anyone slander and abuse her again. She was so besieged by reporters.

I don't want to have so many unimportant people and things between them.

Don't want the professor to continue to be at a loss, but for her to force herself to adapt.

She can only leave this circle, she can only abandon her world and go to the professor's world. That way, those latent contradictions will disappear completely.

But these can't be told to the professor.

Because no one can bear it, another person's dream is extinguished for her.

Making music is her dream, and she has worked hard towards this dream for many years. Singing and creating were her favorite things. Now, she is about to give up.

If the professor knew, she would not agree.

Just like she would never promise the professor to give up scientific research for her.

Song Wei didn't keep the year old. She went back to the room very early. She was holding her mobile phone. She knew that the professor would not contact her, but she still had little hope.

"Professor Pei's stubborn character is not someone who will give up easily." These words echoed in her mind all night, torturing her mind.

The professor is indeed not the one who would give up, but she pushed her away.

On New Year's Eve, Pei Ji did not contact her.

Song Er left home the next day and returned to the city. When Pei Ji is not there, she doesn't know when she will come back, but only when they reach this city where they know each other and love each other can she feel a little at ease, as if she can get closer to her in this way.

In fact, it's just self-deception. Song Wei knew, but there was nothing to do.

The coming out didn't calm down until the summer of the following year. Song Er never responded.

Those celebrities who encounter unexpected events and want to break their brains are because they continue to mix in this circle and attract the love of fans.

But Song Er doesn't need it anymore.

Shen Zhizhou once tentatively persuaded: "You quit now, and you want to come back later. It will be difficult. You have worked hard for this road for so many years from elementary school music, from your debut to the present, and you quit when you say you quit. What should you do if you regret later? ?"

The entertainment industry eats youth, especially singers, whose voice status and age are closely related.

"She doesn't know when to come back, and for such a long time, what if it fades? What if you are ready, and she doesn't like it anymore when she comes back? You cut the retreat so terribly, when the time comes, what will you do? It’s all gone, and it’s too late to regret."

"Maybe," Song Er said.

Seeing her so stubborn, Shen Zhizhou gradually stopped talking.

In the summer, Pei Ji’s downstairs was the same as last year, and the cicadas could be heard, and the fragrance of lotus leaves was sent in the breeze. Song Er came here, as if time and space were intertwined, as if it was last summer when the professor took her from Pei Yi's house.

She often stayed all day when she came, but never went upstairs. She did not dare to open the fan, did not dare to return to their home. Every time she thinks of Pei Ji, she blames herself.

She recalled it over and over again, and every detail was so clear.

She missed her very much, thinking of having insomnia all night, all night and all night insomnia, her mind is full of professors, she is smiling, she is low, she hugs her and says I like you, she is against Her forehead, gently stroked her hair.

Those memories of the past tortured her every minute and every second.

She remembered when they met not long ago.

The professor doesn't speak very much, and he goes straight back and forth, and I don't know if he is cold.

She didn't like being touched by strangers, but when she saw her anxiety, she let her put her hand on her shoulder and take her away.

She was worried that she would bump into her at home and changed the furniture to be suitable for the blind.

She sacrificed her lunch break every day and delivered food home. It was obvious that she could order takeaway, but she was still worried and stared at her to eat a few more mouthfuls.

After they were together, this dull, stubborn person also learned to talk about love.

She brought the roses home and said, "I really miss you, but I can’t see you. I saw the flower shop by accident... I think you will like it, so I don’t care about anything. There is only one thought, I want to bring flowers home. , The kitten for me."

She comforted her gently when she was upset.

She is obviously a person who lacks security, but she still strives to change, trying to shelter her from the wind and rain.

Will she regret it?

meeting.

She regretted it now, regretting that that day was not enough to ease, obviously she could express more gently, but hurt her so sharply.

How sad will the professor be?

Song Yi didn't dare to think about it.

Pei Ji didn't contact her, not once. She seemed to disappear into her world completely, as if she was saying, okay, I make you tired, then I leave, you will relax.

People who lack love and attention in childhood are mostly unconfident in their relationships, afraid of being left behind and afraid of becoming a burden. When the relationship breaks down, they will not blame each other, but will fall into a nearly tortured self-doubt and self-denial.

Song Er didn't dare to think about how the professor survived that time. She just wants time to be faster, so that the one she loves will come back sooner.

She is ready. This time, no one will disturb them anymore. She has let go of the applause and flowers from the entertainment industry, and she can love her wholeheartedly.

Time is very strange. When I hope it will pass quickly, it always moves slowly, rebelliously pulling the same seconds and minutes, pulling like a day and a year.

Song Yi finally received a call from Pei Ji, which was the third year after they separated.

It was autumn and the weather was warm. Song Er was in a meeting when the phone screen suddenly turned on, showing a foreign number.

Human feelings are always unreasonable and accurate.

Song Er couldn't even pay attention to it, clutching his mobile phone, ran out of the meeting room with everyone's surprised eyes, found a corner, and answered the phone.

She seemed to have forgotten her breath. The moment she connected, she couldn't tell if she was nervous or ecstatic, but she suppressed all her emotions, trembled and called out: "Professor."

There was silence for a few seconds before he said, "Song Er."

It's Pei Ji's voice.

Song Wei opened her mouth, her eyes flushed suddenly, she wanted to ask when she would be back, and wanted to say, I miss you very much, but I can't say it. She held her breath, eager to find a suitable topic, but Pei Ji spoke first.

Her tone was faint, as if she was saying something irrelevant: "You don't have to wait for me."