I’m Really a Superstar

It went viral on Weibo! ?/p\u003e

"Come and watch the Beijing Spring Festival Gala!"

"It's so embarrassing! This is so fucking embarrassing!"

"You really dare to say anything, damn!"

"I'm convinced too!"

"Teacher Shanshan, you are my goddess! You are the lover of my dreams! How come you were led to another path by that bastard Zhang? Don't you want to become a 'face-slapping shirt' in the future?" "

"Face-slapping shirt? Pfft!"

"Hahahahaha!"

"Teacher Shanshan was also led astray!"

"Goudan, these are all books written by Zhang Ye!"

"If Zhang Ye hadn't come up with this line, I would be eating and drinking live!"

"Standing on the stage of the Spring Festival Gala and scolding people openly and openly in a skit, this is the highest level of swearing, right? The reputation of slapping Zhang in the face is really not just a boast!"

"Yeah, standing on the stage of the Spring Festival Gala and swearing, I can't look straight anymore!"

“I used to think that Teacher Zhang’s level of scolding had reached a new level, but I didn’t expect it to reach new heights!”

"Han Li is so stupid!"

"This idiot, why are you messing with him when he has nothing to do!"

…

Home.

The third sister laughed with tears in her eyes. While laughing, she patted the armrest of the sofa hard and yelled, "That's awesome! It's so exciting! Scold them! Then scold them!"

The third aunt couldn't laugh or cry, "This Xiaoye!"

The second aunt wiped her sweat and said, "This is a national live broadcast. Xiaoye and the others say this, is it really okay?"

Mom spoke up, "Don't say it's a national live broadcast, it's a global live broadcast. As long as someone makes him angry, that kid will dare to curse people on stage. You don't know what his temper is?"

The second sister shouted: "My brother is mighty!"

…

on the stage.

The sketch has already been getting better and better.

Zhang Ye walked over hurriedly and explained: "Hey, Chief Ma, I didn't mean that. I was thinking, that person who plays ball with the leader will become a celebrity around the leader? Isn't that true?"

Dong Shanshan raised her eyebrows and glanced at him: "No? Hey, Hao Jian, I regard you as one of my own now! I'll let you see how I, Ma Jingjing, got to where I am today step by step!" As she spoke, she He waved his hand boldly and opened the laptop on the table.

Zhang Ye took a look and said in surprise: "The leader likes pictures!"

Dong Shanshan smiled slightly and waved her fingers in the air, "Let me tell you, I can clearly tell each leader's preferences, zodiac sign, blood type and birth date!" She pointed at the screen, "Well, I like fishing. Just dive into the water and put fish on his hook one by one!"

audience:

"Hang fish?"

"Pfft!"

"Ha ha ha ha!"

Dong Shanshan pointed again, "This one likes to play mahjong, so I will give him a piece of art to light the cannon! This one likes literature and entertainment, so I will use my great-grandfather's relics to wear strings for him. This one likes me. ..." Stunned, Dong Shanshan immediately closed the laptop, "So, Hao Jian..."

"Ha ha ha ha!"

"like you?"

"Ouch hahahaha!"

The audience burst into laughter!

Zhang Ye was also happy, "Hey, wait a minute, why are you covering up the key points? This is the part I want to hear the most!"

"Ha ha ha ha!"

"good!"

"good!"

The audience cheered!

Dong Shanshan's eyebrows were ecstatic and she said, "So, now you know how I got into this position, right?"

Zhang Ye nodded vigorously and said, "I understand, otherwise I would say you are great. Section Chief, your ability to flatter people is all in your blood!"

Audience: "Hahaha!"

"Who are you talking about? Who are you talking about?" Dong Shanshan, who had just sat down, was unhappy and pointed at him complainingly: "I'm talking about your mouth!"

Zhang Ye said quickly: "Hey, bah, bah, why do you think I'm so bad at chatting? I make people angry every time I talk. I'm also puzzled. I find that every time we have a meeting, this leader just treats you like this. You are nodding and smiling, is it because you are more beautiful?"

Dong Shanshan sat as steady as a rock and smiled proudly, "It's not just that!" Looking at him, "I tell you, meetings are about skills. When the leader speaks, he will express his opinions as soon as he speaks. , I'll give one right away, eh?" She made an exaggerated questioning expression, "The leader just thought, what's wrong? Are you questioning my meaning? When he finished speaking, I didn't even know what he meant. What are you talking about? I will be followed by someone soon... Oh!!" She showed a look of realization on her face, and her mouth grew bigger!

Audience: "Hahahaha!"

Dong Shanshan smiled and said: "I want the leader to feel that I have been baptized by his words and that I am fully enlightened!"

After listening, Zhang Ye imitated Dong Shanshan's expression and made an extremely ugly look of realization, "Oh!"

"puff!"

"It's so ugly!"

"Pfft!"

The audience laughed!

Many Beijing TV staff in the audience were also extremely happy. In fact, like the audience, it was their first time to hear Zhang Ye's skit, because there was no time to rehearse this skit!

Zhang Ye said in admiration: "Listening to your words will change your outlook on life!"

Dong Shanshan said: "So Hao Jian, you not only have to accompany the leader to play well, but you also have to make the leader only want to play with you, so that when he thinks about the ball, he will think of you, and when he thinks of you, his hands will itch! "

Zhang Ye immediately said: "I understand, you just want to establish an image of me as someone who deserves to be beaten. So will I be able to become a good person now that I deserve to be beaten?"

Dong Shanshan smiled and said, "It's more than just becoming a full-time employee." She turned to her desk and said, "You see, my office will be yours from now on, Chief Hao?"

Zhang Ye hurriedly waved his hands: "Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no!"

Dong Shanshan smiled again and said: "Chief Hao!"

Zhang Ye was trembling all over, "Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no!"

Dong Shanshan pulled him to the leather chair, "Chief Hao, Chief Hao, come, sit down, sit down, sit here!"

Zhang Ye hurriedly said: "No, no, no!"

"Feel it!" Dong Shanshan pressed him down.

"No no no!"

"Sit down."

"oh!!"

"Sit down again."

"Oh oh oh!!"

Zhang Ye had a look of enjoyment on his face.

The audience was so happy, "Poof!"

Zhang Ye didn't know what to do while holding the chair, "Hey, let's have a taste of being a leader. This chair is so comfortable. No wonder you always fall asleep at work. If I get this position from now on , then I’m not allowed to sleep in this world forever?”

Dong Shanshan smiled and said, "You can sleep however you want, Chief Hao?"

Ring ring ring, the phone call came.

Dong Shanshan picked up the answer, "Hello, ah, Director Yao? Oh, you want to come over now? Okay, okay, oh, that's great, just in time, I have good news waiting for you this time!" After picking up the phone, she laughed and said, "The director will be here soon!"

Zhang Ye stood up and said, "That's great. Hey, where should we go to play when he comes?"

Dong Shanshan snapped her fingers and said, "I have already prepared it for you!" She led him to the side, where a simple table tennis table was displayed. "This old bureau chief came in, and I will use his mahjong table." He has also taken care of it. Ha, from now on, you can play here with me and I will be your referee." She set up a table tennis net. These props were all specially made. "Haha, Hao Jian, this pair This is not an ordinary table tennis table for you, this is the ladder of your life!" She used a funny accent in Northeastern dialect.

Audience: "Hahahahaha!"

Zhang Ye held the other party's hand and said, "Your honor, Section Chief Ma, no, Director Ma!"

Dong Shanshan said with a sly smile: "Oh, don't you dare to take it? Chief Hao?"

Zhang Ye smiled mischievously: "It's a matter of time, Director Ma!"

Dong Shanshan was so happy that he was even meaner than her, "Oh, I can't help it, Chief Hao?"

The visitor laughed wildly a few times, then shook hands and said, "Win-win! Win-win!"

The audience enjoyed watching it very much!

"What a great performance!"

"These two are so good at it! Hahahaha!"

At this time, the music starts.

Dong Shanshan hurriedly put her head down and put on makeup.

Zhang Ye picked up a table tennis racket and practiced there himself!

a.

Two balls.

Three balls.

Suddenly, a voice came from outside and shouted: "Whoever plays table tennis again in the future! I will punish him!!"

Dong Shanshan was stunned.

Zhang Ye was also stunned.

The atmosphere on the stage suddenly changed!

The audience was delighted.

"Ha ha ha ha!"

“Now it’s interesting!”

"Let you two make trouble!"

"The director-general is here!"

At this time, Yao Jiancai came out in a suit and leather shoes, with mousse on his hair, looking like a leader.

The audience immediately gave warm applause!

"Hey Director Yao, what's going on?" Dong Shanshan hurriedly went up to greet him, avoiding the Director's sight and trying his best to gesture to the other side!

Zhang Ye covered the racket, not daring to make any big moves, and carefully hid the racket.

Yao Jiancai was now different from the way he looked when talking about cross talk. He spoke very steadily and thickly, "You don't know who it is, but you heard that I love playing table tennis. Now some comrades in the bureau practice it while at work!" What kind of behavior is this?”

Zhang Ye moved one step at a time, quickly and nervously tidied up the table tennis table, and reached out to pick up the net on the table.

The audience was so amused!

Dong Shanshan is still covering for Zhang Ye, "Hey Director Yao, it's not a big deal to play table tennis."

Yao Jiancai said sternly: "Playing table tennis is nothing in itself, but using it to suit someone's liking is an unhealthy trend!" Turning around, he happened to see Zhang Ye holding a table tennis net.

The audience laughed, "Hahahaha!"

As a result, Zhang Ye's next move made the whole audience burst into laughter!

Zhang Ye was stunned, stretched out his hand, hung the table tennis net around his neck, picked up one end, and swung it back like a scarf!

"Ha ha ha ha!"

"Ouch!"

"good!"

"good!"

The audience burst into applause!

Yao Jiancai walked over with his hands behind his back and glanced at him sideways, "A scarf?" He tugged at the thing around his neck and said, "Do you have a weight on it?"

Zhang Ye quibbled: "The wind is strong, and my mother is afraid that she will be blown away."

Audience: "Ah ha ha ha ha!"

Dong Shanshan hurriedly came to the rescue, "Hey, this is the new comrade in our unit. Come on, bureau chief, sit down and talk, sit down and talk." She helped him over flatteringly.

Yao Jiancai sat on the sofa, looked at Dong Shanshan, and said: "Chief Ma, you are an old comrade. This work style problem has arisen in our unit. Shouldn't you take the lead?"

Dong Shanshan immediately sat upright and said righteously: "I told them! No matter how hard you practice, you can't reach Director Yao's level. Director Yao was the champion every year in his original unit!"

"Hey, don't compliment me!" Yao Jiancai paused and said, "...I was the runner-up one year."

This statement made a group of people laugh again!

"puff!"

"Ha ha ha ha!"

"Lao Yao, that's enough!"

After saying that, Yao Jiancai sighed and said: "Actually, I'm not very good at playing table tennis! Tell me, how do I win the championship every year?" He waved his hand and said, "It's all water!"

Dong Shanshan flattered her and said, "It can't be all water. Didn't you just say that you have to be the runner-up in the next year?"

Yao Jiancai looked at her and nodded, "Yes." Then he paused and said, "I was the deputy director that year!"

The audience laughed so much that their stomachs hurt!

"Hahahahahaha!"

"Oh, I really can't do it anymore!"

"Your mother, this is so funny!"

"Leng Buding is just a burden! Hahaha!"

"It's so enjoyable!"

…

Off stage.

A work area not far from the stage.

Chang Xiaoliang didn't laugh from beginning to end, and many other members of the directing team were similar. It wasn't that the sketch wasn't funny, but that they had forgotten to laugh at all, and instead looked at the performance on the stage with stunned eyes. Three of them, Zhang Ye, Dong Shanshan and Yao Jiancai!

They were really shocked!

Chang Xiaoliang was silent for a long time and looked to the side, "Are you sure that the three of them have never performed in a sketch?"

The deputy director smiled bitterly, "I've really never acted before!"

Chang Xiaoliang asked again, "Are you sure this was a skit that Mr. Zhang just made on the spot an hour ago?"

Another female assistant director said: "Yes, it was made within this hour. I asked them. Teacher Zhang actually didn't have a sketch book at all before. He just made it up!"

"Then there's one thing I especially want to know right now!" Chang Xiaoliang became more and more excited as he talked, "In one hour, I was writing a notebook and memorizing my lines. Three amateurs who had never acted in a sketch before... There is no time for a formal rehearsal, so why... would you create such a wonderful sketch!?"

Director team: "..."

No one can answer him!

Because they don’t know either!

To them, this is simply something incomprehensible!

Letting Zhang Ye come to the rescue was simply a last resort. It was simply treating a dead horse as a living horse. To be honest, Chang Xiaoliang and the others only hoped that Zhang Ye could finish the show, but they never thought that he would be able to finish the show. Let Zhang Ye make a classic of some kind, because everyone knows it's impossible! But as soon as "Follow Him" ​​came out, they were all a little confused! This work... is simply too mature! Doesn't this look like a temporary creation? How can these be three amateurs who have never acted in a sketch? Characters, performances, script, funny points, rhythm, concept, depth, it’s all there!

This is clearly a CCTV Spring Festival Gala-level skit! !

Is this Zhang Ye?

Is this Zhang Ye when he gets serious?

Looking at the entire folk art world and the entire entertainment industry, who else is there! ?