37 – What I Needed

“….”

Sitting on the bed, staring blankly outside the noisy window.

Despite the events of yesterday, the festival was proceeding smoothly.

Of course, the academy was not taking it lightly.

The management even considered stopping the autumn festival immediately.

Because it was deemed risky to continue with such incidents happening.

But it could be exactly what those hidden camp guys wanted.

Having prevented the incident, it was now necessary to show the empire’s strength.

The festival was decided to proceed as normal based on such opinions.

What do I think? It’s fine. There’s no other choice.

In fact, there were valid reasons why fewer special forces were deployed yesterday.

While the enemy’s attention was on the academy, they simultaneously raided places expected to be their hideouts. More than ten places at the same time.

As a result, they could capture most of the camp’s leadership who had dared to establish a foothold in the empire.

From their perspective, they didn’t expect us to invade so quickly and simultaneously.

In other words, the Special Forces handled their business exceptionally well.

“Although a few managed to escape, they’ll likely be caught soon.”

Is this some kind of operation where you come back from somewhere else and say, ‘Our house is gone!’?

Anyway, those who were aiming for my first festival are now nowhere to be found.

“I apologize. Staff Sergeant Karl Adelheid. It’s clearly our mistake.”

Meanwhile, in the morning, the Deputy Minister of the Special Forces personally came to apologize.

The mistake, of course, was missing one Kämpf and causing a disturbance.

He took responsibility for the unfortunate incident caused by the field agents’ mistake.

He pleaded for leniency, saying he’d handle it and extended his hand, asking for understanding.

Who could have expected this? Even I was caught off guard.

Smoke grenades prepared by the Kämpfs. No, should I call them CS grenades?

The devil’s item that, upon inhaling once, makes anyone bend over and run away.

I have no idea when these guys developed and had such a thing.

If they had used it on the battlefield… it would have been quite a headache for the Imperial Army.

Fortunately, the item was still lacking in many aspects.

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It sank quickly, allowing for immediate pursuit, and the quantity seemed insufficient.

Or else, they might have all had it as an escape tool.

“Let’s stop the apologies. After all, this is something I volunteered for, isn’t it?”

“But still…”

“The Special Forces have thoroughly swept their hideouts. So please, don’t worry if you truly feel sorry. Keep a close eye to ensure nothing else happens during the festival.”

The Deputy Minister firmly promised to follow my opinion and left.

And truly, within an hour, Special Forces agents began to be discreetly deployed.

They were individuals who could immediately step out if anything suspicious was sensed.

More than that, why am I on the bed in the first place? I’m not even injured.

It felt slightly unfair that a perfectly healthy person was being treated as a patient.

…Ah. To be precise, I was injured. I reached for a Kämpf mess tin, and my hand got a little torn.

But this was a trivial matter that could be healed with healing magic.

Even though healing magic is said to be expensive, I am not just an ‘Order of Honor’ recipient.

If I want, I have the qualifications to receive that money nonsense anywhere. It’s possible right now.

However, the reason I’m currently cosplaying as a patient is―

“Knife. May I come in?”

Perfect timing. The reason.

As I replied that she could come in, Selena opened the door cautiously and peeked in.

In her hands were medicine for wounds, disinfectant alcohol, cotton, and bandages, all ready.

Yeah, it was because of Selena. More precisely, because she wanted to tend to my wounds.

At first, I tried to refuse. Healing magic would do the job perfectly.

And we would have to go out and see the disaster of a cooking booth that almost happened.

Still, Selena insisted stubbornly that she had to see my wounds.

It was expected, though. She seemed to want me to calm down a bit more by looking at me.

“…Selena must have been quite surprised. I did make a fuss.”

It wasn’t a scene a typical noble lady would witness.

No, rather, it might be something better left unseen for a person in general.

Honestly, even I got overly excited more than necessary.

The guy was holding a dagger, and the moment I saw the wound on Selena’s arm.

I unconsciously recalled numerous scenes from the battlefield that I had seen.

After that, I don’t exactly remember. I came to my senses, and Selena was stopping me.

Maybe that was what they mean by ‘something snapped.’

“Let me see your hand.”

“I’m fine. I’ve had wounds like this on the battlefield hundreds of times…”

“Give me your hand. Knife.”

It didn’t seem like she would easily back off, so I extended my hand willingly.

Compared to Selena’s fair and delicate hands, my rough and calloused hand felt a bit embarrassing.

Wait, how many times did I wash my hands? When goblins’ blood splatters, you need to wash it at least ten times.

“Fortunately, it seems like we don’t need more disinfection. I’ll just apply the medicine and wrap it with a bandage.”

She quietly applied the medicine to the wounded area and skillfully wrapped a clean bandage around it.

I wondered how this would help with the booth’s work, but I decided to endure for now.

Saying something here might lead to some unexpected answer from Selena.

“…The four people at the cooking booth are doing well.”

Did she catch on to my thoughts? Selena abruptly changed the subject.

“Yesterday, such an incident did occur, but the four of you handled it well, taking turns to put on a ridiculous performance. Plus, the snacks you sold there were quite popular.”

“Fortunately.”

“Yeah, fortunately. So, there won’t be any gossip about you, Cal, from other students with knives or anything.”

“I should thank those guys later.”

“Greetings should come from your group instead. Cal, if it weren’t for you, we might have been selling only weird things. Probably would have made the front page of the school newspaper after the festival.”

“Yeah, that’s true. It might have been a headline like ‘Academy Quartet Attempts to Offer Devil’s Excrement as a Sacrifice at the Festival!'”

“Enough of that.”

I clenched and unclenched my fist, repeating the motion. The bandages were wrapped quite well.

For a noble lady, Selena was surprisingly adept at this, as if she had learned it professionally somewhere.

“I learned from my older brother. And, doing it for him, I got used to it.”

Come to think of it, her brother was in the army. It makes sense.

After thanking Selena, I was about to start moving slowly when she spoke again.

“Cal.”

Selena, who had been silent for a while, spoke up.

“There’s something my brother used to say. To the brother who returned from war, who had changed a lot.”

“What did he say?”

“It’s okay, Cal. It’s not your fault. You did your best.”

For a moment, my body shivered, and my heart skipped a beat.

Those words, “It’s okay,” and then, “It’s not your fault.”

And… “You did your best,” something I couldn’t even say to myself.

“Sometimes, in the middle of the night, I heard crying in the garden. When I went to see, my brother was crying. The person who was so strong, occasionally, after returning from the war, he was like that.”

“…”

“At first, I didn’t know why. Then, I happened to find out. From my brother’s mouth, as he slept for a while in the carriage, the names of some people came out, and he muttered apologies.”

I don’t know exactly what happened to her brother.

But I understand. Everyone who participated in that terrible war must be carrying wounds.

Perhaps it was a curse they had to bear even until their last breath.

“I comforted my brother’s back, saying those words. It’s okay. At that moment, whatever happened… It’s not your fault. Every time, my brother thanked me.”

“…”

“It’s the same for you, Cal. It’s okay. You did your best. You haven’t done nothing. There’s nothing wrong with you.”

Selena rises slowly from her seat. She suggests taking a short break and meeting in the afternoon.

Just as she’s about to turn away, I unconsciously grab her.

“…Really.”

And then, before reason can intervene, my mouth moves on its own.

“Is it really okay? Was it my fault… or not?”

Whether it was a medal of honor or something else, that day of rescue, Selena’s brother and his comrades survived.

But the squad members I barely saved in that battle all perished in the next one.

This time, I couldn’t save them. I survived, but those bastards died without the suffering I endured to rescue them.

The remaining ones said it wasn’t my fault. They told me to forget the dead and seek a way to live.

“If you get weak, you die. Don’t you want to live? ” They shook me violently like that.

If only I had certainty. Truly, I hoped they didn’t die because of me.

Not knowing made it even more dreadful. I could only endlessly question myself.

Did they wait for me and die? If I had gone a bit earlier, could they have survived?

“Yeah. With a knife.”

Not sure. No. No… it was frightening. So I couldn’t bring myself to give that answer.

Not because of me. I truly did my best. That they wouldn’t blame me, those words.

And Selena, with a gentle smile, pats my head as if comforting.

“You did your best. Thank you.”

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