I Became the Burden of a Conscienceless Party

36 – Mage Millia (2)

Wizard Millia (2)

To be honest, I didn’t have time to worry about things like luggage.

Millia was just grunting at the wall she was facing for the first time in her life, and she couldn’t afford to care about mere demons.

However, from Jim’s point of view, who had to melt into the hero’s party, Milia had to deal with him again and again.

“Milia. Is it okay to talk for a while?”

“No.”

“Okay.”

To be honest, it was annoying.

She didn’t really care and it was just annoying to see her in front of her eyes.

“Milia-sama, Milia-sama. Is it okay to talk for a while?”

“No.”

“Okay.”

However, Jim did not give in.

“Milia-sama, Milia-sama, Milia-sama, let’s talk for a moment… ….”

“No.”

He has spoken to Milia over and over again. Each time, Milia refused as if she was natural…….

Milia was following Jim’s movements.

Surprisingly, this was Jim’s ruse. If it doesn’t stand out as much as it usually bothers you, on the contrary, how to care.

Jim used reasonable means to melt into the hero’s party.

That came from the experience that seniors used to look for him when he usually had an accident in the military and didn’t hit.

“Milia-sama.”

“…… Uh, what’s your business?”

In the end, the conversation was established.

Milia, who always put up an iron wall saying that she was annoying, started to get nervous when she thought that she would have a conversation with Jim belatedly.

At first, she was very shy.

She was rather comfortable talking to her when she didn’t care about the other person.

Milia could see that in a way she knew this was an opportunity.

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“What would be your hobbies?”

“Drink, hobby?”

“Yes! A hobby!”

An approach with a clear purpose.

However, because of that approach, Milia was able to talk at least.

Because Esmeralda and others laughed bitterly at her if she hesitated or stuttered her words.

Everyone, including Esmeralda, already knows that Milia is absurdly bad at human relationships.

That’s why I was waiting for her to openly talk about her heart someday.

And in that situation, Jim chose to break through.

Indeed, it was a charge without consideration, solely for the sake of the mission.

But ironically, that actually helped Milia.

Because you have to talk to a timid friend first.

“No, no, nothing… ….”

“Then what do you usually do to pass the time?”

“Magical research?”

Perhaps because it was her specialty, Milia did not stutter her words.

She’s the type to be rather talkative with her unfounded confidence when something she knows comes up.

In the case of Esmeralda, Irina, or Tina, even if I wanted to respond in this way to Milia, whose speech was open, I couldn’t respond…….

“If the magic keeps scattering, why don’t you think of casting it while anchoring it to the ground?”

Jim was once a wizard.

Moreover, at this time, he was also a mage with a higher level than Milia. Although it is limited to black magic, that is.

Since he’s playing the porter right now, he can’t openly pretend to know, but Jim used to give hints to Milia in a roundabout way.

A trick to get Milia’s attention.

Originally, the masters of the Mage Tower gave only one of her books to her Milia and did not teach them deeply.

The reason could be that they are busy, but even so, Milia took care of herself and absorbed her knowledge well.

“I’ll try.”

That’s why Jim’s hints served as good food for Milia.

Unbeknownst to Jim, he was reinforcing the warrior party with his own hands.

Milia, who started to open up her words, and Jim, who was working on a work that would appeal to her, began to talk privately little by little.

“In short, you mean that you usually read books? Then reading is my hobby.”

“Is that so? That’s what a hobby is.”

“It just went well. Actually, reading was my hobby too!”

Jim was garbage.

Of course, it wasn’t a lie that Jim’s hobby was also reading.

But I do know that Millia’s hobby isn’t reading.

Milia has no hobbies. That was the result Jim had been observing all along.

She showed little to no emotion and although she stuttered, she wasn’t particularly afraid of anyone.

She just wasn’t used to talking to other people.

The reason she said reading was a hobby was because she was working on increasing her knowledge through books.

“Later, I will recommend a book that I enjoyed reading.”

“Uh, yes… ….”

So Jim lent Millia the book of her novel he was reading.

As usual, she grabbed a copy of her book and started studying it.

Yes, through ordinary novels that are different from books that only contain magical theories, such as formulas, direction of flow, combination, and reversal.

“This is what people call hate.”

Milia understood emotions through those books.

Like that, Millia devoured the book like a baby bird trying to break out of her shell and come out into the world.

The books borrowed from Jim initially wanted something like this, but she quickly fell in love with the feelings between people connected by strings.

And among the books her luggage lent her, there were books of absurd stories unlike the systematic and philosophical books she knew.

That’s why Millia often frowned.

“This is impossible.”

“What do you mean?”

That’s why Millia argued with Jim for giving him such a bogus book.

In situations like this, you have to be annoyed.

Millia learned from reading countless books, and she acted that way.

She was in a state where her painting became natural.

“It’s impossible for ordinary people to be able to use space magic just by bumping the heels of their shoes.”

Yes, she tried to analyze even fantasies in fairy tales. She

She And when she didn’t understand them, she realized that it was all fake.

“That’s what you meant.”

Jim grinned as if it was according to his plan at the sight of Milia questioning her with her eyebrows narrowed.

“Is it really impossible?”

“…… What does it mean?”

“Milia, would you like to read this book?”

“… ….”

Milia opened her eyes anxiously, but then she began to look through the book Jim had handed her to her.

Milia’s gaze, which had been skimming through the book at such a high speed, stopped for an instant as if it were fixed on a single page.

“Heaven?”

“Yes, Millia-sama, do you think heaven exists?”

“That…… I do not know. I’ve never seen it, and there’s no way to confirm it.”

“This world is said to belong to the Three Realms. Among them, there are six worlds called the sensual realm, and there are places we call hell and places we call heaven.”

“Is that the teaching of the Celestial Church?”

“It is a tradition rooted in the world.”

It’s a story where opinions are divided even among wizards.

There are those who infer heaven through the existence of God, while there are also those who insist that there can be no heaven because God exists.

There is no right answer to these questions.

“This world is still full of things we don’t know. Even if you learn through books, there are some things you cannot admit unless you see them with your own eyes.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes, so there might be an archmage that allows ordinary people to use space magic just by bumping the heels of their shoes.”

“Yes…… Goa.”

Milia nodded her head.

She learned through books.

She has learned through the words of the tower masters and their guidance.

However, that was not the only way to learn.

When she confronts her own parents with her corpse. She tilted her head at something she didn’t even know.

Yes, she was the one who thought she would be okay, but she knew it through what she saw in her eyes.

“You know, Jim.”

“Yes?”

“What kind of expression am I making now? If you were to define emotion in my expression right now, what would it be?”

Something inside her has changed.

No, it was changing right away. This conversation was just an occasion.

Her heart, which used to move and act mechanically, now began to fluctuate.

Yeah, she thought she was seeing everything. Because she is special Because she is different from others.

She has been taught and understood that way.

However, she saw her parents’ dead bodies and learned the unknown emotions.

She learned that she didn’t know.

So she didn’t know what kind of emotion she was feeling right now. She couldn’t define herself.

“Okay. In my opinion…… Could it be satisfaction? It’s nice to see you smiling like that. It would be nice if you could smile more often in the future.”

“Really?”

Emotions are innately incomprehensible even if you try to understand them with your head.

Something you can only feel with your heart.

Milia learned that. She knows she can’t know everything.

So she could no longer control the incomprehensible impulses that settled in her own mind.

In her childhood, she released the flow she had blocked in order to escape suffering.

Because emotions were not something I could understand with my head.

I know that now.

“You know, Jim.”

I know that what Jim has said has been word of mouth.

I also know that Jim has been playing tricks on him.

But she was a genius and she was special, so she thought that whatever trap Jim prepared, she would be able to deal with it.

But what about her now?

She didn’t know if this was Jim’s intention, but…….

“I hope you lend me interesting books like this next time.”

“Oh, of course.”

She fell into Jim’s clutches. And that, she came to think, was not necessarily a bad thing.

Because he kept talking to Milia, unlike the others.

Because he repeatedly knocked on Milia’s heart.

“Yeah, then I’ll look forward to it.”

Because she’s out of the world.

On this day, Milia learned her feelings that she is her pound for the unknown.

***

Tak.

Milia was currently in one of the Seven Magic Towers, Glacies Magic Tower, where she was researching water, freezing, and stillness.

She was about to close the last volume of the books she had saved while wandering around town. Yes, it’s a free time.

“Jim.”

Milia still didn’t know about emotions. She couldn’t quite say what to call it.

However, I did not give up on trying to find out.

Because it’s something we can’t just accept. Even if it’s something you can’t understand with your head and only feel with your heart, you shouldn’t give up proving it.

This is also something I learned from Jim.

What I was able to know through Jim.

‘I can’t know everything. If you still believe it exists…….’

That’s why Millia believed that nothing was impossible. That’s how she expanded her imagination and came into contact with the world.

And since her way of learning is a constant law, she should not assert that she is just as impossible.

I have reviewed the feelings she felt over and over again, compared them over and over again, and verified them over and over again.

And she came to the point where she carefully added her working title to the feelings she was feeling.

“I miss you.”

Now, that emotion has a name attached to it, ‘longing’.

And behind her back, black tentacles wriggled and dripped mucus as if expressing that affection.

Chiyiyiik!

The part that came into contact with the slime melted away as if it were corroded.

Milia thought as she looked at the mucus that expressed her heart.

“It would be nice if you would stay with me forever.”

It was autumn.