I Became a Fake Priest the Saintess Is Obsessed With

34 – The Fairy Messed Up

I, Lady Saint, Sister Selena, Sir Briel, and Tina gathered to participate in the religious conference.

Early in the morning, escorted by the Holy Knights, we strolled through the courtyard.

Although the key figures of the cathedral had been absent for several days, there was no cause for concern.

Sister Selena, who had participated in numerous religious conferences, skillfully managed the handover, ensuring that the cathedral would function smoothly even in our absence.

‘But the weirdest thing about this conference is still…’

I quietly observed Tina, who was stumbling around drunk.

What on earth is this person? Should I call her a sword?

Anyway, why is this lazy embodiment attending the conference?

As far as I know, clergy participating in religious conferences are usually the most devout believers in the denomination…

This person must be the very embodiment of laziness, so why is she able to attend the conference?

As I pondered deeply, Tina, who sensed my gaze, looked at me.

“Hmm~? Why are you staring at me, Ivan~?”

“Why a despicable performer like you is participating in a religious conference, I was wondering while looking at you, Miss Tina.”

“Well, I saw you today and thought you looked pretty, no clever words, just sincerity…!”

Tina bowed her head deeply, as if she had been hit on the back of her head with a hammer.

I shrugged my shoulders.

“Honestly, I don’t get it. Even if someone like me, who usually gets imprisoned by Sister Selena for my behavior, is recognized by the royal palace and invited to a meeting…”

Tanaga chuckled at my words.

“Sister Selena imprisoning me? That’s a funny joke. And the royal palace inviting me is only natural. Considering what I’ve done for them so far, they should be bowing down and kissing my feet.”

…She’s been drinking a lot lately; did this woman really go off the deep end?

“So, are you friends with Sister Selena and the royal palace?”

“I’m way above that! In my eyes, both Selena and the royal palace are just baby talk!”

Someone who messes around in life like this claims to be older than Sister Selena…?

I was dumbfounded by the absurdity of it all and couldn’t speak. But then, thinking carefully about what this person said…

Although I momentarily forgot due to her youthful appearance, Tyna is unmistakably different from humans as a genuine Spirit of the Blade.

Considering the average lifespan of elf-like spirits far exceeds that of humans, Tyna could indeed be quite old.

“So, when you talk to me in the future, show some decorum and manners. Don’t talk to an adult like a newborn baby.”

Hearing Tyna’s words almost made my sanity fly away.

Someone who drinks and revels while making a ruckus is claiming to be older than me…?

I took a deep breath.

I need to make it clear to this woman.

“Tyna, being old isn’t necessarily something admirable. Especially for someone like you who hasn’t aged well, there’s no value in seeking respect. Please be mindful of that.”

“What, what?”

“If, however, you still want respect from me, show the wisdom of an adult. Like, for instance, money…”

From Noble mtl dot com

I slowly mentioned items that could be considered tokens of wisdom.

As Tina spoke, her body trembled uncontrollably.

“T-This…! How dare he!!!”

And then she muttered something incomprehensible.

“…Connecting letters and what’s ‘how dare he’ supposed to mean.”

“The offspring of a scoundrel…”

Ah… she must have abbreviated the initial letters.

“……Please restrain yourselves. Now that we’ve arrived at the palace, please remain quiet.”

Sister Selena interjected at an appropriate moment.

As she said, now that they had arrived at the palace, they should indeed keep quiet. But Tina clung to Sister Selena, weeping.

“Waaah!!! Selena!!! They said I’m a terrible actress!!!”

“……”

“Not only that! He, he said I’m older than I am…”

“……”

“Hey… Selena? Why are you silent? Why are you ignoring me?”

“……”

“Shouldn’t you comfort me and scold that ‘how dare he’? Huh? Huh???”

Sister Selena let out a deep sigh.

“If you’ve reached that age, stop throwing a tantrum, Priestess Tina. I’ll go in first, and the knights should leave. The rest of you, please follow me.”

Having plunged a heavy dagger into Tina’s heart, Sister Selena entered the palace first.

“Three, Selena…! Even you, whom I believed in…!”

Tina collapsed, looking at the nun who had gone ahead as if her soul had departed.

I sighed softly and reached out to Tina.

“I may have been harsh with my words. I apologize; please accept it.”

“Hngh…! Ivan…! I knew I could trust you…!”

“Of course. Thinking so highly of Miss Tina… It’s inconceivable.”

Truth be told, I had no intention of helping because I enjoyed watching her squirm. But seeing the nun and Briel looking at Tina with sympathy, I extended my hand, pretending to be kind.

[The goddess says you’re very good at lying.]

“hehehe, thank you for the compliment.”

[The goddess says it’s not a compliment, so don’t feel embarrassed.]

…What am I supposed to do about that?

I cleared my throat loudly to hide my embarrassment and looked at my companions.

“We’ll also follow Sister Selena inside.”

“Very well. As a guard, I’ll take the lead.”

The sturdy Briel took the lead.

“Ladies, please follow behind me.”

I naturally placed the nun and Tina behind me, standing in the middle of the formation.

Being in the middle meant that if anything happened, I would be safest.

Well… it’s silly to think something would happen in the royal palace, but I just ended up standing in the middle as a habit.

Then, someone grabbed my wrist.

The one holding my wrist was none other than the holy maiden.

“Um, Miss Holy Maiden? Why are you suddenly holding my hand…?”

“W-Well… I thought it would be nice to walk together!”

“Sounds good to me~ Friends usually walk hand in hand, you know~”

Quickly, I grabbed Tiana’s hand, still in a good mood.

“You’re quite popular.”

“If Ivan’s arm gets tired, Briel, you can hold mine~”

“No… If I hold Priestess Tiana’s hand, it might smell like alcohol, so I politely decline.”

Ah, I didn’t think about that.

I hastily let go of Tiana’s hand and smelled mine.

Luckily, there was no hint of alcohol.

“Oh? Ivan… I feel like my heart is breaking.”

“Ahahahaha… Just kidding. Here, hold my hand…”

“It was just a joke, right? Don’t play such jokes next time! I almost became a wreck because of it.”

If I tease Tiana any further, she might get really upset, so I should stop here.

***

The palace was indeed magnificent.

Adorned with gold, the royal palace shone under the sunlight.

Grand and beautiful pillars, labyrinthine corridors, splendid chambers and pavilions all symbolized the majesty of the emperor and empress, adorned with exquisite sculptures and artworks.

Each room was richly decorated with ornate furniture, captivating with its dramatic beauty.

In my past life, the lobby of the finest hotel I knew was so dazzling that it could slap me in the face.

Brielle, the majestic paladin, exclaimed with her mouth agape, “Truly magnificent…”

“That’s right… It seems to be the most splendid place I’ve seen in this lifetime.”

“Although it’s the second time for Archbishop Ivan to visit the palace, he seems amazed nonetheless.”

“I’m visiting the main palace for the first time. I always went to places like the infirmary, so I didn’t know there was such a splendid place.”

A few months ago, I had been to the palace, but at that time, I was too busy treating the crown prince and princess to explore.

However, by looking closely now, I could feel the majesty of the imperial family through just one building.

“The Emperor, who unified a whole continent, said that after unifying, he would build grand palaces like this one.”

Sister Selena, who appeared from somewhere, smoothly interjected.

Brielle brightened her face upon seeing her. “Ah, Sister Selena, you’re here.”

“Didn’t you see me coming first, Sir Brielle?”

“hahahahaha… I meant to ask where you came from.”

The nun sighed softly. “It seems there’s no earlier arrival than us, the representatives.”

“Why… What’s the need?”

“As lambs devoted to our Mother, we must demonstrate a more diligent attitude than other religions.”

She curtly replied and took a seat at the laid-out table.

“The palace steward said it’s not ready yet. He mentioned bringing tea, so let’s all enjoy tea time.”

Hmm, he did come almost at the break of dawn, all dressed up.

Even though it’s still a proper early hour, there’s no way the palace would be ready for an event.

Following her instructions, I pulled out a chair from the table and sat down.

When everyone took their seats, the old butler served us tea.

“I must apologize for this… I’ve been slow with the chores due to my age and couldn’t properly welcome our esteemed guests.”

“Don’t worry about it. We insisted on coming at this hour in the first place. Others might arrive later, so take your time preparing.”

“Hoho… that might be possible. I’ll do my best to entertain the nun and her companions as quickly as possible.”

The old butler, though appearing leisurely, quickly went back.

The fragrance of the tea wafted up, brushing against my nose.

The palace seems to indulge in high-quality tea, as this is the most fragrant tea I’ve ever smelled.

Feeling a bit intoxicated by the scent, I awaited followers of other religions.