I am Vardy

Vardy began to tell his story.

"Once upon a time, there was a farmer who kept losing chickens. He set a trap and caught a fox. But the farmer felt sorry for the fox, so he showed kindness and let the fox go."

"From that day on, when the farmer wakes up every morning, he will find a bowl of steaming white porridge on the table"

"The farmer couldn't help but wonder, could it be that the fox turned into a beauty to repay his favor?"

"One day, before dawn, the farmer quietly got up, wanting to see how the white porridge came from. When he saw the truth, he was stunned!"

As soon as he arrived here, the interested teammates shouted one after another.

"The fox must have turned into a beautiful woman, as beautiful as she wants, and then she is ready to make a promise!"

Vardy smiled secretly, full of deep meaning, and then the ending of the story came out under the expectant expressions of the players.

"It turned out to be a fox sitting on the table in his house, masturbating at the mouth of the bowl."

As soon as Vardy finished speaking, all Manchester United players leaned over and retched together, their faces turned green!

Masquerade?

Nima!

At first everyone listened attentively, thinking that this is a beautiful love story, even if it is a combination of humans and monsters, it is still the love they want to pursue, happy and full of mythology.

But I never expected that Vardy would come to such a big turning point, which made them all throw up!

Nima,

The fox is actually male!

And the daylight that that man drank every day turned out to be the cockroaches shot out by a fox's masturbation!

Do you want to be so disgusting?

Manchester United players have never felt so sick in their entire life!

Retching is already good, and even a few people with poor mental endurance have started to vomit!

Not to mention these players, even Manchester United's nutritionist can't stand it, after all, he cooked the porridge.

Vardy looked at his teammates who were retching one after another, and felt a sense of accomplishment spontaneously, but he knew that what he should do at this time was to leave quietly, otherwise the consequences would be disastrous.

If you don't run now, when will you wait?

But before Vardy ran out of the gate, he was held down by Ferdinand.

"Where are you going?" Ferdinand asked Vardy with a half-smile.

Vardy was taken aback, "Why are you alright?"

Ferdinand didn't vomit like other Manchester United players. Although his face was a little blue, at least he was in good condition!

Well, it’s definitely because the matter of the women’s clothing boss last time has improved Ferdinand’s psychological endurance and resistance a lot.

Vardy rolled his eyes, and then said righteously: "I am kind enough to tell you a story. Now I am going to train. Why are you holding me?"

It's just that who will listen to his explanation at this time.

"Hold him down, I'm going to kill him!"

"Where is my knife?"

"I have to feed him what I spit out!"

A group of teammates yelled while vomiting, that posture, really want to fight Vardy to the death!

For Vardy, it's like living in the end of the world, with a large wave of zombies on the way

The ending is naturally very miserable, it is simply a human tragedy!

Vardy was rubbed on the ground by his teammates in turn. If it wasn't for the damage caused by the ups and downs in the stomachs of his teammates, I am afraid that Vardy would definitely lose some parts when he stood up.

During training in the afternoon, the faces of the Manchester United players were still ugly, and they stood weakly on the training ground, which made Ferguson very puzzled.

Why does everyone seem to be squeezed dry?

Could it be that they all ran out to fool around during such a short break at noon?

But even if young people can't hold back and form a group to do bad things, a mature and prudent player like captain Gary Neville shouldn't be fooling around with them!

However, Ferguson, who was keen to observe, soon discovered the clues.

All other players have green faces, only Vardy has a normal face, but his face is full of gray.

The answer is already obvious, and the truth can be revealed without Conan.

It must be that Vardy did something that provoked the anger and resentment of the sky, and made the teammates extremely embarrassed, and then the players gave Vardy a hard lesson.

Well, nothing wrong!

Thinking of this, Ferguson became angry.

The big battle with Chelsea is about to start, and Vardy is still messing around with his life and death. It seems that the players are acting like people. Isn't this delaying things?

Ferguson didn't give Vardy a good face, called Vardy out, and was about to reprimand him.

Vardy must not be caught without a fight, so he said very innocently: "I swear that I have done nothing wrong. I told you a story with good intentions, but they treated me like this. I am wronged, I am wronged!"

"What story are you telling that is so powerful?" Ferguson asked with a serious face.

So Vardy then repeated the story again.

"Stop talking, don't vomit"

"Your uncle, stop vomiting quickly"

The teammates standing in a row heard Vardy say it again, their faces became even uglier, their stomachs rolled again, and a few of them with poor mental endurance had already started to retch again.

But Ferguson didn't know the cause and effect. Although he felt that the joke was not clean, it didn't make the players look like this.

An old man like him can bear it, why can't these team members bear it!

Ronaldo saw Ferguson's doubts, endured his nausea, and solved the mystery for Ferguson: "When he was telling the story, we were drinking porridge."

Ferguson almost spit out a mouthful of old blood, although he has a strong psychological endurance, he was still shocked by thunder.

Nima!

You deserve to be beaten!

Why didn't I kill you!

Not to mention that the team members were drinking porridge at the time, even if I just thought about it, I felt like I was going to spit it out!

The next result is of course unnecessary. Vardy was punished by Ferguson to run laps, and he complained while running laps.

I was thinking about the team, and I was punished, which is really unreasonable.

Of course, although Vardy's behavior made the players feel uncomfortable in their stomachs for a few days, the atmosphere in the team was far better than before.

The day before the big battle, the team members finally recovered and entered the final state of the big battle.

The top battle between Manchester United and Chelsea will undoubtedly attract the attention of the whole world. Although this peak match is only a three-point contest, it may affect the trend of the entire season.

The Red Devils remain strong, and the Blues have been integrating. This game is likely to be the final tone of the two sides throughout the season.

If Manchester United wins, then Manchester United's strength can be maintained, and they can finish the whole season in one go;

And if the Blues complete the running-in between the lineup and players, then Mourinho's team may regain the power of last season and continue to rule England.

The red-blue battle has replaced the previous double-red meeting, as well as the duel between the Red Devils and Arsenal, which has become the main theme of the Premier League.

Of course, there are many things to watch in this game, and there are even too many to list.

The first is whether Vardy can continue to maintain the reputation of "Chelsea Terminator". Every time Vardy meets Chelsea, he will show off his powers, and there are even some hat-trick masterpieces among them.

This season, Vardy's scoring ability is even more explosive, and his scoring methods are more comprehensive. Can Cech stop Vardy from scoring?

The currently accepted law is that when encountering Vardy, the opponent's goalkeeper's worth is automatically reduced by 1500bsp; and his worth is less than 1500bsp; Drogba in the Blues has improved his scoring efficiency this season, and he is currently on the same scorer list as Henry , Rooney are neck and neck, and more importantly, his super dominance on the front line. Can the African Elephant King defeat Manchester United's defense in this game?

In addition, can Shevchenko find the feeling of scoring in Serie A and bring a fundamental improvement to the Blues?

These are the highlights of this game.

Of course, there is also the grievances between Vardy and Lampard. The two have met each other frankly on the court, and they have torn each other's underpants on the court. There is only such a pair in the entire world of football. Then this What kind of sparks can the two of them create in a game?

What's more, Mourinho's pursuit of Vardy is not a day or two. He always believes that Vardy is the most suitable player for his tactics, but Abramovich brought him Shevchenko. If Vardy's performance far exceeds Shevchenko's in the game, then the rift between Mourinho and Abramovich must be infinitely magnified!

Facing Chelsea, Vardy is my favorite, because every time he faces Chelsea, he will be inexplicably excited, and then perform exceptionally well, I believe this time is no exception!

When the players lined up in the channel to play, Vardy felt that someone was watching him.

Could it be Lampard?

This guy still doesn't give up, ready to mess with himself on the field?

This is Old Trafford, he has such courage?

Puzzled, Vardy turned his head and found that it was not Ferdinand, but Shevchenko.

The meaning in the eyes of the Ukrainian nuclear warhead is very complicated, and Vardy can't figure it out.

What do you mean?

Feel like you found your long-lost brother?

We are not related by blood!

Of course, Vardy doesn't take it too seriously, even if Shevchenko is hostile to him.

Perhaps the former Ukrainian nuclear warhead is worthy of respect, and his achievements in Serie A are enough to be remembered by fans and recorded in history.

But Shevchenko, who came to the Premier League, is not the nuclear warhead with huge deterrence. This is definitely the Waterloo of his career.

His opponent may be Henry or Drogba, but it is definitely not Shevchenko.

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