I am Vardy

When he returned home after training, Vardy felt that his ass was no longer his own, and he was grabbing points and falling. Even if he was trained to be an iron shirt with a golden bell cover, he might not be able to stop him from doing so!

Fortunately, there is a gentle Annie at home, so Annie became Vardy's queen masseuse, massaging buttocks full-time, as for what happened during the massage, no one knows.

In fact, after repeated tests in the past few days, Vardy thinks it is most convenient to score with the buttocks, because when the buttocks are pushed up, there is a distance to charge up, so that the shot is more powerful

As for the back and front chest, let’s not talk about scoring or not, first of all, it really hurts!

At the beginning of the home game, facing the relegation-prone Crystal Palace, Everton did not press the whole line. Anyway, the most anxious thing is Crystal Palace. They just need to maintain their defensive strength and be ready to fight back at any time!

Crystal Palace, just as Moyes expected, risked their lives in order to avoid relegation. They dared to play against Everton at Goodison Park.

So in the third minute, Everton used a sharp counterattack to let Crystal Palace know what it means to be untouchable.

After Everton stole the ball, Vardy dribbled the ball all the way to the ribs, just as Beatty was outflanking in place, Vardy took advantage of the situation and crossed, such a breathless counterattack is what Everton is best at.

If Beatty didn't think Vardy couldn't pass the ball and didn't react, and hit the plane in a hurry, Everton would have had a fantastic start.

Looking at Beatty with an apologetic expression on his face, Vardy really couldn't bear to criticize a strong man with a height of over 185. In fact, Vardy was afraid that he would not be able to beat him.

The aggressive Crystal Palace suddenly changed from a downhill tiger to a kitten. How dare they continue to fight against Everton unless they really want to be relegated.

As a result, the anticlimactic Crystal Palace withdrew and handed over control of the midfield to Everton.

The visiting team fought back.

Then it became the performance time of Everton, a pseudo-strong team. Moyes waved his hand, and Everton all attacked.

Vardy is not too worried about the outcome of the game. The strength gap between the two teams is obvious. Even if Everton loses his game, he will not be unable to retreat.

So what he should consider most is how to use other parts to score goals.

Vardy, who was full of all kinds of fancy goals in his mind, had unknowingly rushed into the small penalty area of ​​​​Crystal Palace.

At this moment, Carsley made a cross and saw that the ball landed in his position. Vardy met the ball, subconsciously poked it with his foot subconsciously, and the ball flew directly into the goal from under the Crystal Palace goalkeeper.

At that moment, Goodison Park was boiling, everyone's passion burst out, and the cheers were earth-shattering.

The teammates flew over to hug Vardy one after another. Such a clean goal directly booked the victory of the game.

But Vardy is still in a daze alone

I scored a goal?

By foot?

Why are my feet so weak?

Why did Mao want to stretch his feet just now?

My mission!

Vardy is about to cry without tears. The task requires other positions to score more goals than feet and heads. Now he has scored with his feet, which means he must use other positions to score two goals!

What the hell is this mission!

At this moment, Vardy really couldn't cry if he wanted to cry!

When the teammates around him were all smiling, Vardy's expression as if he had died of his own father was completely out of tune with the surroundings.

Although the teammates felt strange, but after thinking about it again, they seemed to understand Vardy again.

Yes, with a team as big as Crystal Palace, there is nothing to celebrate even if they score goals. You know, I, Vardy, can perform hat-tricks against Chelsea.

Who can understand the sadness in Vardy's heart?

With a mournful face, Vardy feels that he is now the most miserable professional player in the world. He is devastated by the system every day, and he is almost unhealthy.

"I scored a goal, just smile, don't look like you've lost your relationship!" Carsley said casually, not understanding Vardy's sad expression, and patted him on the shoulder.

Huh, what you said is easy, try it instead, and make sure you won't even cry.

But the matter has come to this point, Vardy knows that even if he tears the Great Wall down, the system will not pity him.

Instead of this, it is better to think about how to complete the task next!

It seems that I have to use my ultimate kill!

Vardy's eyes became firm, revealing a gnawing light once again.

Bashen can score goals with his shoulder, but I can't?

But on second thought, it might be dangerous to copy Bashen's shoulder goal.

Balotelli shot the goal with his feet first, and after being bounced up, he stabbed the ball in with his shoulder so easily.

But what if he shoots first and Nima scores directly?

It's not that there is such a possibility, and the possibility is very high!

If I really scored a goal directly, I can almost kneel!

Thinking about Vardy, I feel that the system is cheating. Scoring in other parts is hard to come by. It depends more on luck and timing. If you force yourself like yourself, it is either self-defeating or nothing.

Hey, it seems that Bashen still has a classic goal. After passing the goalkeeper, he stopped the ball in front of the goal, turned around and sent the ball into the goal with his heel.

You can also imitate it yourself. After throwing away everyone, stop the ball in front of the goal, and then use Bo Linggai or other positions to serve, isn't it all right!

The key thing to pay attention to is that you must be fast, otherwise the ball will be kicked away as soon as you set up your pose

Well, this is fine, fans may feel that they are second-hand, but considering their past funny behavior, it is probably understandable.

However, the crux of the problem is not here, but the attitude of the opponent Crystal Palace.

Now Crystal Palace is the lagging side. Although it seems that they are eager to attack, they are still half-dead, and Everton can't fight back at all.

This is more nerve-wracking.

There is no way, Vardy can only squat in the small penalty area, transforming into a point-grabbing striker, waiting for his teammates to feed him.

But other people eat cakes with their heads and feet, but he can only choose to use their buttocks

A cross from a teammate, Vardy pouted his ass, aimed, and arched——

This is Vardy's standard grabbing mode.

But as Cahill expected, others never thought that Vardy would shoot in this way, and they all stretched out their feet to block the kick.

Then, one foot kicked on the ball, and the ball directly hit Vardy's ass, while the other foot didn't touch the ball at all, and it directly hit Vardy's ass

At this moment, Vardy's buttocks were hit continuously, and the ****-like comfort almost made Vardy roar out.

"Referee, they kicked my ass, isn't this a penalty?" The sad Vardy held his last hope and wanted to complain to the referee.

"Uh, you took the initiative to send your butt up, I don't care!"

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