Don't Concern Yourself With That Book

Chapter 65

Translator: wuttisyun

“That’s what you call being sick.”

His breathing was getting rougher. He pushed against me while at the same time pulling at my neck.

“Stop being foolish and just admit that you’re sick.”

He looked up in a daze. Then, not willing to lean on me anymore, he asked me to let him walk alone. However, even after just a few steps, he was already swaying precariously.

“Stop moving! I’ll bring it to you!”

In the end, I was the one bringing the tea and the pouch over to him to make him eat the antidote.

‘He only needs to eat one, right?’

I thought it would look grand but the first pill I spotted was plain and round. It was ridiculously shabby compared to the illness he was going through.

Fshhhh.

Once the pill dropped into the tea, the fizzling sound mimicked that of an iron letting out steam whenever I used to iron clothes.

Cough cough!

As if he was disgusted by the taste, he drinked the remaining tea in one go before wincing and coughing.

“Are you alright?!”

This was the first time I had ever seen Amor take his antidote. Whenever I looked for him, even if he had a rough day, he would still rest his chin on his palm and massage his face as if he was in deep thought. He never showed his pain at all.

Seeing Amor gasping for air like a dying beast in front of me, the shock I felt was two times as great. What on earth was this little pill that allowed it to hold his life and shake it around at its will?

Just then, black energy in the form of a mist rose from his body. The grim and sinister energy quickly left Amor’s body, leaving behind only the black mist surrounding him. Amor placed his hands on his eyes before sweeping them down and glaring at me.

“Could you see that?”

“Ahah.”

He removed my hands which were still holding onto him before walking much more steadily towards the bed. It felt as if he was going to collapse onto it right away but instead he sat on it and stared at me before muttering something under his breath. However, he was so soft all I heard was the air whistling through his teeth. He grimaced and massaged his neck as he cleared his throat.

He then ate the fruits that the vines brought for him before asking in a much healthier sounding voice.

“You. Has it returned?”

Amor looked at me.

“Your ability.”

I had done nothing wrong and yet I flinched when he talked to me.

“My ability? What ability?”

“Stop pretending. You can’t fool me.”

When I saw Amor growling like a beast that had been starved for days, I felt like I was being interrogated.

“Did you already know what was going to happen today?”

At the same time, I was worried about Amor who looked like he was struggling to speak with a face that I could not say looked well.

“You told me a long time ago when you entered my room without permission. The ability to know things without anyone telling you. It’s returned.”

Maybe he saw it through his plants.

‘But why was he talking about this now?’

I wondered if this was a side effect of the antidote.

“I don’t think you are acting as you normally do today, brother.”

“I’m not crazy.”

Usually, after people drink flu medicine or cough syrup, once they lie down, they would immediately talk about what they were thinking with no filter. Talking about how they wondered if their salary was just breadcrumbs or how their bastard of a boss had breath that stank like the sewers. Despite his rambling, all I thought about was tidying up his messy hair before I spoke.

“I’m not saying you’re crazy, it’s just your body is not in the best condition right now. So why don’t we talk again another time?”

“I’m serious when I say I’m fine so just answer me. I’m asking if what I saw was correct.”

“Your words can be easily misunderstood. It sounds as if you’ve been watching me this whole time…”

“Yeah, what if I say I am?”

“…..”

He let out a smile with the corners of his lips creeping up.

“Hurry and tell me. You’re the best at making excuses.”

Even as he was coughing till he looked like he was puking out saliva, he never stopped talking.

“And making me sympathise with you.”

A weak smile. Just then, he covered his mouth roughly with his hand. Then, an explosive cough erupted from the small body of his, releasing an immense energy. The mist was both blue and strikingly green like his eyes. As soon as the energy began to dissipate, all the plants in the room began to bloom and thrive as if this had all been a dream.

The flowers in the small flowerpot blossomed as fresh new leaves sprouted from bare branches. The tree that only had its trunk left also began to grow.

He seemed to be unable to control his powers.

“Ah, damn…”

Amor closed his eyes before touching his lips. Even as he felt faint, he slammed his hand onto his bed roughly and all the plants began returning back to their original forms. The young vines that stretched over the door shrank and the leaves that had just sprouted fell on the floor.

Over the graves of the many petals and leaves, Amor slowly raised his head.

“Are you alright?”

“It’s just a side effect.”

“A side effect? This? That’s dangerous!”

After clearing his voice, he then answered slowly.

“Such questions are meaningless to me. Same goes for you.”

I did not know why but it felt like his smile that made him look like he was telling an interesting story would disappear soon.

“You once told me that I was your comrade.”

He smirked as if it was funny. However, his lowered gaze looked sad and his laughter sounded more like a cry for help. I quickly looked out the window because it felt as if I had stolen and was reading someone’s personal diary.

“I did.”

Vines began wriggling about as they pulled me towards him.

“Those words. I’ll agree with them.”

After speaking, Amor rubbed his face. As if his mask had cracked, he could not control his facial expressions.

“… We are the same, you and I.”

With his face as delicate as glass, he looked like he was being worn by exhaustion.

“So I will help you. I have no choice but to.”

Even when he looked like he was about to collapse, his gaze was sharp like a beast sharpening its teeth. It looked like the antidote was something that would make him feel drowsy and strange before going to sleep.

“Are there any anesthetics or other drugs mixed into the antidote?”

I sat down and looked at the empty pouch.

“Nonsense.”

“It’s strange. I can’t believe that brother is helping me. Calling me your comrade. I don’t know why your mood is swinging and why you’re being so nice to me. Stop confusing me.”

When I reached out my hand as his comrade, he laughed heartily. I looked at him displeased. His warm and sad-looking head lowered. Even though it had gotten much better, his fever had not completely disappeared. However, he soon lifted his face and I looked for the reason he changed his mind in his expression.

He said he was watching me whenever I faced a crisis. Did he feel sorry for me? Or did he feel a sense of camaraderie?

Just as how I could feel heartbroken over the pitiful main character in a drama, did he feel sorry for me as he watched through his plants?

‘That’ll be kind of funny.’

The same went for him who was about to die soon. Was I good enough of an actor to play a role in Amor’s world?

For the past two years, we never brought up what happened that day as if we had promised each other.

The only things I did when I visited him were to eat snacks, drink tea, eat meals together or to watch the rain as it fell outside the window. We provided each other minimal company.

I no longer asked Amor about Castor. Amor no longer asked about my ability. We never had conversations nor were we keeping secrets. There was one time I fell asleep while reading a book and slept till it was sunset.

‘That happened. And you kept turning me away.’

My memories were melting away like oil paint, mixing together before drying and crumbling away. I stared at Amor who was about to turn 20.

“You can deny it. We had been silent all this time.”

He had not wanted to intervene.

Amor jutted out his chin before raising his eyebrows to the highest he possibly could as if he could reveal his thoughts on his face.

“Brother, you are an amazing man of your own accord. I’ll forgive you even if you tell me that you didn’t say anything you said today and have forgotten everything tomorrow.”

I glanced at him.

“I’m fine being alone.”

I owed Amor a small debt. He gave me a clue to help me escape from my repeated regressions and whilst pretending to be curt, he would give me advice every time I asked.

I was fine with whatever choice Amor made.

I knew that Amor doubted me and did not believe me. The words he spoke now did not reflect what he actually felt. I closed my eyes. He had saved me once when I was on the edge of the cliff and that was enough.

A year ago, we ended up not becoming comrades. But he had still been helping me by keeping a big secret of mine.

“People get hurt very easily. And they die easily too.”

Even though he was sick, his pale white face looked proud and his expression unwavering.

“You’re in a crisis every other day. Whenever I see you, I wonder if you’re ever coming back.”

“Are you worrying about me?”

After a brief silence, he continued.

“I am a Templar of Plants. From the stories my plants have seen in place of my eyes, I can tell you’re a very strange person.”

“Oh, so that’s what it was. You weren’t worrying about me, you just knew that we were in the same boat. That’s quite unreasonable and random. To the point where I’m a little annoyed. So, has your question been answered?”

“No.”

I could tell how complicated he was feeling from his frown. He looked like a criminal that came to turn himself in but was hesitating in front of the police station. As I stared at him agonise, he suddenly grabbed my wrist. He grabbed it tightly and shifted closer towards me.

“I still doubt you. There are so many things about you that cannot be explained. The more I watched you, the stranger you got.”

He shook his head and swept his hair up nervously.

“I’ve never seen anyone like you before, someone who had no answers.”

Was that not the line the 2nd generation chaebols liked to use the most often? As I remained caught by him, I tilted my head.

“Do you pity me? Enough for you to change your mind, brother?”

He shook his head. He was saying no but the way he was holding my wrist was so sweet.

“I don’t change my mind that easily. Very slowly, things started to pile up and you became a nuisance to me that I just could not turn away.”

I had never heard him speak in that tone before. He had spoken monotonously.

“I will help you. In return, can you tell me the truth?”

“The truth?”

“Right.”

Amor whispered seriously, in a tone I rarely heard from him.

“Can you see the future?”

In the fading sunset, what was green had been submerged in a scarlet light.

“Can you predict deaths?’

I looked into Amor’s eyes that had been basked in the red light.

If he had asked me a year ago, I would have changed the topic and started talking about my own life. Then, Amor would get angry. But I would still come over to find him the next day and he would still let me in though he would not look at me.

It had been like that for the past two years. I did not want to separate from him and he would not stop me even though he could easily refuse.

An untold camaraderie. We were together on a rocking boat surrounded by the storm that was Castor as we sailed towards the horizon between life and death. In the past, the present and now, the coming future.

Looking at Amor waiting for an answer, the anxiety I thought I had forgotten returned to me as I raised my head.

‘Even if I told him everything, what happens if I die again and he forgets everything I told him?’

T/N:

idk just a lil rant but ive been reading the earlier chappies bc im currently writing a summary on everyth that had happened thus far but i j feel rlly bad for ashley? like sure shes mentally 40+ but she has no experience in plotting? she was just an office worker in her prvs life and now shes j an extra who was meant to die before d original novel started? like how do ppl expect her to plan how to survive when a. she only knew she was gg to die 10 days beforehand?? (w even lesser time now) and b. she had no info whatsoever abt her current situation so ofc her ‘plans’ were reactions not responses. i get that some of d comments stem from ignorance bc they hvnt read that far BUT STILL. i love ashley tho she frustrates me sometimes.