Daily life of an American TV drama agent

Anti-aircraft missile jammed? There may be no black humor more hilarious than this in the 21st century, but it happened.

The scary thing is that the Gatling cannon of the AC-130 air gunship did not jam. The black muzzle was pointed at the agents on the ground and began to rotate. At the same time, the Asian tourists visiting near the White House also began to take action. The backpack was swung forward, and what came out from it were all kinds of firearms...

At Hobbs's house, his big bed seemed very crowded after two burly men squeezed in. The cell phone rang suddenly. Ron kicked Hobbs in displeasure: "Turn off your damn cell phone!"

Hobbes turned off his phone in a daze, but after a while, the ringtone rang again. He could only touch the phone again and press it, but it had no effect. When he opened his eyes, he found that his phone had already Turned it off, and now I'm still thinking about Ron's cell phone.

"Damn it, it's your phone!" Hobbs kicked it hard in annoyance, but Ron, like a slippery Magikarp, suddenly jumped away from Hobbs' stinky feet and covered them with a pillow. My head fell asleep again.

Hobbs was helpless and was about to turn off Ron's cell phone, but found that the person who called him also knew him.

"Ron, where are you now? Forget it, no matter where you are, come to Washington immediately!"

"Hello..." Hobbs answered the phone, but an even louder roar came from the phone: "Hobbes? Why are you with Ron?"

"Yesterday we drank together and then slept at my house." Hobbes glanced at the wine bottles scattered on the ground. Yesterday, they finished drinking the wine at Hobbs' house and went out again. Bought two cases of beer and came back.

Otherwise, the few bottles of whiskey collected by Hobbs alone would not be enough to knock down two alcohol-tested warriors, but...

Hobbes sniffed, and he smelled a strange smell in the room. Following the smell, Hobbes' eyes finally focused on a plant in the bedroom. The plant was still lush and lush yesterday, and it had only been one night. , the leaves turn yellow and emit a disgusting smell.

"This smell is..."

Images of last night's drinking session flashed through Hobbs' mind.

"Your plant seems to have no energy~ Come here, let me help you fertilize." Ron said this, unbuttoned his pants and started watering the plants in the bedroom. Hobbes followed suit and joined in.

"Together, together, drink more water and grow taller~"

And now, let alone growing taller, this plant will have a long life unless it is burned to death.

"Hobbes, Hobbes, are you still listening?" Anonymous shouted anxiously on the phone, pulling Hobbes out of his thoughts.

"Of course, what is it?"

"Wake up Ron immediately and ask him to report to Washington!"

"What happened?" Hobbes asked doubtfully. In his impression, Nameless Doe was always very calm. Even in the most dangerous moments, he would issue every precise order in an orderly manner. In such a hurry, he It’s the first time I’ve seen him.

"Didn't you watch the news? That's right... you two just woke up," Anonymous paused: "A group of terrorists disguised as South Korean missionaries just invaded the White House. Now the president has been controlled by them. I need Ron will come immediately and deal with them."

"Wait! Why don't I go?" Hobbes was a little jealous.

"Hobbes, you are also a very good agent, but this time is different. They actually attacked the White House! That is the political center of the United States!" At this point, Anonymous' voice sounded a little crazy: "Someone must be tough. Use your methods to attack them head-on! Otherwise, any minor character will want to try their skills here. Compared with Ron, your methods are not strong enough."

Hobbs has a black line. This is the first time he has been told that he is not tough enough, but this time he is still convinced. Compared with people like Rowan who will blow up several buildings with one move, Hobbs is indeed not strong enough. tough.

"OK, I'll wake him up right now." Hobbes glanced down and Ron, who was still sleeping soundly, agreed.

"Let him go directly to the military airport. I will prepare a fighter jet to send him over. Passenger planes are too slow. In addition, let her make a list of what she needs and send it over. This time, as long as he doesn't blow up the entire White House , he can do whatever he wants."

It is known that the straight-line distance from Los Angeles to Washington is 1,544 kilometers. An ordinary civil airliner usually takes about three hours to fly, but fighter jets are different.

Take the F16 in active service in the US military as an example. Its maximum speed is 2,175 kilometers per hour. Although it cannot last for a few minutes, even at cruising speed, it is a level unmatched by civilian airliners. It only took less than an hour.

Over Washington, the rear cockpit of the F16 fighter jet that had just arrived suddenly opened. Ron was ejected, and with the help of a parachute, as soon as he landed on the ground, several soldiers rushed up and quickly untied his parachute.

"This appearance is well arranged. It gives me a sense of mission to save the world. Maybe I can have more appearances like this in the future." Ron extended his hand to the unknown man.

"That's because you are really on a mission to save the world now. For the sake of world peace, I think the less appearances you have, the better." Anonymous grabbed Ron's hand and shook it hard: " I have brought some equipment, I don’t know if it suits your taste. If you have any other needs, tell me immediately and I will send someone to find it immediately. I only have one request, kill those sons of bitches!"

"Are you sure?" Ron asked doubtfully, "What should I do with that small box?"

What Ron is talking about is the legendary doomsday suitcase that the president carries with him and controls the launch of nuclear weapons.

Anonymous pulled Ron aside and whispered: "Don't worry, the Ministry of Defense has changed the password of that box."

Ron's mouth twitched. Since the Ministry of Defense said that if you change the password, you can change the password, so what's the point of the president carrying it around? But now is obviously not the time to think about this.

"On behalf of the Department of Homeland Security, I authorize you to take any action you deem necessary. How long will it take for you to rescue the president?"

"I don't know. First of all, you have to let me know what happened today? What's the situation inside now? Did they put forward any conditions?"

"What happened today? Someone will give you a briefing shortly, and there will be explanations on it. As for the situation inside, I'm sorry, I only know that the Secret Service agents were attacked by members of the embassy after escorting the president into the safe house. , they took control of the president, and other terrorists they had ambushed nearby also poured into the White House. The defenses in the White House have now become their weapons. As for what they want, I don’t know.”

Go here. Anonymous couldn't help but urged again. : "Ron, you have to act fast before that idiot in Congress exercises the power of the interim president."

Ron frowned slightly when he heard this: "Parliament? Isn't that the third successor to the interim president? Where is the vice president?"

"Already dead. In the attack just now, there was another assassin who specifically went to assassinate the Vice President." At this point, Anonymous increased his tone: "Do you know who the new Speaker of the House of Representatives is? It was the military-industrial complex that brought it up again. That Charlie Manning! This is a conspiracy against the president! Our enemies are not just terrorists, the enemies are in the center of our power! We must not let them succeed!"

Charlie Manning, this was the second time Ron heard this name in 24 hours. Of course he knew what kind of madman this was and was not qualified to rule any country.

Not to mention ruling a country, just looking at the waterlogged head, it is difficult to be a village chief. It is because of his whimsical and crazy words that he has gained a large number of fans on Twitter, so he has reached this point.

This is probably also the tragedy of the American electoral system. Candidates show off their charisma on various social media, making it like an entertainment talent show. However, ordinary people do not have much ability to distinguish right from wrong. In the end, the candidate with the higher popularity is eliminated. The one who occupies a high position and is eventually chosen may even be a comedian.

"OK, I understand. When I receive my new account, I will immediately cut off all power supply and network signals to the White House. The generator in the White House is an old model. When switching to backup power, there will be a one-minute interval. I will be there at that time. Rush in through the front door."

Ron looked at the defense map of the White House and immediately had an idea in his mind.

"Wait! From the front entrance? Are you crazy? And you're the only one?" Anonymous grabbed Ron who was about to take action.

"No, I'm not crazy. It's precisely because everyone thinks it's impossible here, so this is the place where their defenses are the most lax, and it's easier to move alone." Ron shook his head: "Of course, in order to cover me For this operation, I need you to cover the entire White House with smoke bombs, and then have the Secret Service launch a surprise attack from the side entrance to attract attention."

"Well, I can only give it a try at this time."

Anonymous gritted his teeth and everyone immediately acted according to Ron's plan.

, the police who had been waiting around suddenly used grenade launchers to fire a large number of smoke bombs at the White House. Just as the terrorists were waiting, a burst of gunshots like popping beans suddenly came from the side door. The smoke was unknown, so the terrorists immediately Converge in that direction and fire.

And Ron took this opportunity to sprint from the front entrance to the White House like a runner after hearing the starting gun.

"Boom!" In the smoke, Ron seemed to have bumped into someone. Before the other person could speak, Ron took the lead and cursed: "Asiba! Over there!"

"Miah Hamida." The person who was knocked down by Ron apologized quickly. Sure enough, it was also in Korean. Ron fooled him through this level.

Since they are pretending to be a Korean envoy to attack the president, and they also have an Asian face, there are only two options for the identity of the terrorists. First, they are Koreans, and second, they are Japanese pretending to be Koreans, so the language they use is nothing more than There are two kinds: Korean and Japanese, Korean is more likely.

Ron had already raided the common expressions in these two languages ​​on the plane. It was not a problem to fool around with them briefly. Facts have proved that he was right.

After taking care of the obstructionist, Ron rushed directly into the White House.

"How was it? Did you succeed?" Anonymous asked anxiously in the headset.

"I succeeded," Ron gasped softly: "But don't stop the assault outside, increase the intensity, and remember, the more fun you have outside, the less likely they will suspect that someone has sneaked in."

"I'm afraid this is unlikely," Anonymous' voice was a little low: "Just now, Charlie Manning has exercised his third-in-line presidential succession, and now the rescue work of the president has been transferred to the temporary disaster response command. Take responsibility, sorry, from now on, you can only rely on yourself.”

"FXXK!" Ron cursed secretly: "I knew you were unreliable. Remember, you owe me again!"

On the other side, in a defense fortification in Washington, a temporary disaster response command composed of Charlie Manning has taken over the president's rescue work.

"Who sent the commando!" Cha Nian looked at the video sent back from the front and yelled: "Don't you know that this will continue to stimulate the terrorists? Will they make them do something unfavorable to the president? Stop them quickly. Down!"

"That was an order from the National Security Agency..."

"No matter what position he is in! Now all rescue orders must come from me! Let them withdraw quickly!" Charlie cursed and sent her assistant away. When she turned to face her security consultant, she replaced it with another picture. With a flattering smile, those who didn't know thought that the security adviser was the president.

"Thank you Lockheed Martin for your help. Please help me tell the board of directors that after I become president, I promise to immediately increase military spending and provide more orders to your company."

"That's right. As long as you stay obedient, I guarantee that you will always sit in the position of president." The security adviser took a deep breath of his cigar and nodded with satisfaction.

Before taking up this job as a security consultant, he was one of the CEOs of Lockheed Martin. This is also a major feature of American politics. The revolving door of politics and business. These big shots with personal connections and resources can freely move around. Switching back and forth between businessman and politician.

"Then... when are they going to kill the president?" Charlie asked hesitantly.

"It may take a while. After all, we still need help. Our Eastern friends can fulfill their little wishes, otherwise we will not be happy when we cooperate in the future. What? You want to teach me how to do things?"

"Of course not!" The security consultant squinted his eyes, and Cha Nian's aura immediately dropped a bit: "I'm just worried that things will change over time."

"Don't worry, everything is under control." The security consultant was about to flick the cigarette ashes, but he searched around the table and found no ashtray. Charlie quickly offered his hands.

The security consultant smiled and flicked the cigarette ashes into his palm with satisfaction.

Whoever is sitting in that position of president? Capital is the real master of this country.