Cold Palace’s Abandoned Consort

These two words finally made her stay silent. She had a little movement. She trembled a little, and the white long hair fell down a wisp, brushing her lips.

After all these years, she hasn't changed at all, and maybe she has changed, but in my eyes, she will always be like that, quiet eyebrows, quiet eyes, lips flapping slightly, and the corners of the eyes and mouth are light Wrinkles, but her eyes are young, and there is a kind of spring-like vitality in the silence, which makes her face with a lack of expression always show a smile, to all people and things , Full of sympathy.

She looked at me for a while and then said, "Is it really you?"

I was crying and became a teardrop, lying in front of her, crying silently: "It's you, mother, it's you!"

Neither she nor I could believe it.

She couldn't believe that I would be here, and I couldn't believe it, my mother, she would appear here!

Why is she in this Sanjiang Dam? Why did she die clearly, and did not die, why was she in this place, and why did she lose her head?

I was holding her horns like a child, and wept all the grievances of these years.

"Mother, why? Why?"

Her reaction is much slower than me, or she has n’t reacted normally. From the first glance I just saw her, I found out that she is sitting in a lotus position, and I have understood that she has entered a meditation status.

A person who enters the fixed position in the lotus position can close the five senses and enter the deepest part of the spiritual realm. Foreign objects cannot be invaded, and the internal interest is not leaked. In this way, the person who enters the set has actually entered a state of almost stagnation. Can eat and drink for a long time.

My second uncle, a monk in the temple of Tianmu Temple, was able to sit in the lotus position for half a year, and some monks can enter for ten years.

And mother ...

After hearing my cry, her eyes finally recovered a little, and she flickered slightly under the swaying candlelight, then lowered her head to look at me. After a while, she raised her hand and gently touched her Up my face.

"You came."

These three words, she spoke so lightly, but with infinite emotion.

Yeah, here I am.

I finally came.

Maybe she's been waiting for me for a long time, or maybe I should have been here long before I started to doubt the truth of her death, but until today, I came here to see her.

I cried, "Mother, have you been here, wait for me?"

She nodded slightly.

"Have you been here?"

"Yeah, my mother has been here since you left."

It has been 20 years since I left, and she has been in the dam for 20 years!

Everyone thought she was dead, but no one was there, and no one worshipped her. Even his father could only look at her in the Bodhisattva temple built by Tang Ting.

but--

I looked up at her. Her face remained unchanged, almost the same as when I left, but her hair was completely white. Why? After a person enters meditation, does nothing change? Why is her hair completely white?

I held her white hair and cried, "Why did the mother become like this? You have been meditating here, why do you have a white head?"

She glanced down for a moment, her eyes flickered slightly, and she said after a while, "Because one day, my mother woke up."

My heart fluttered, tears shaking in my eyes, dripping again, and falling on her white hair.

"When is it?"

"..." She looked at me quietly, and said, "My mother didn't remember it, just remembering that day, my mother was particularly uncomfortable, as if she suddenly fell into the river, surrounded by cold water, her mother couldn't breathe. I ca n’t continue, I can only wake up. "

I trembled, "What then? What did you do?"

"Then I left here."

"..."

"This is these days, the only time I left here, I went a long way, far, I don't remember it myself, just remember that the fog was very heavy that day, no matter where I went, it seemed that I could not get rid of it. The feeling of being engulfed in water was cold and choking. "

"..."

"It was a long time before I came back here."

"..."

I know, that day, I jumped down from Hu Yue Gorge and Pei Yuanzhang's boat, and that same day, Tang Ting also stumbled and fell from the mountain. She thought she saw a Buddha, after that Then, the Buddha Temple was erected and the statue of the Buddha was shaped.

But what she saw was really a mother!

My mother looked down at me and said gently: "That day, my hair is like this."

"..."

I can't cry.

Over the years, it is not without grievances and being able to calmly face everything that has happened, but after hearing what she said, I forgive everything and forget everything.

She still hangs on me. Even if she doesn't know anything, she will not be stable because of my life and death.

But since I am hanging around, why should I give up?

I grabbed her clothes, wondering whether I was questioning or complaining about my grievances, and just shouting: "Mother, why? Why are you doing this ?!"

"It's such a big girl," she held my face, and said softly, "There are causes and consequences in this world, and there will be gains and losses. How can there be so many reasons?"

"what about me?"

"..."

"Why would my mother be willing to let me down? What did my mother give up and get?"

This sentence, like a small stone, was thrown into her bottomless deep pool. Although it could not stir any waves, the ripples were clearly written in her eyes.

I cried and asked, "Why is my mother willing to let me down?"

"..."

She looked down at me, still without much expression on her face. After a long time, she slowly said, "Why else?"

"..."

"In this world, there are always things that someone needs to do. If you can do better than others, I will choose you."

"..."

"Lightness, don't blame me."

I ca n’t blame her. I ca n’t blame her. My whole body comes from her. Even, my whole life seems to be walking along her footsteps. I ’m like her shadow, not dragged by her. , But involuntarily followed, how can I blame her?

I just have too much pain, thinking that it's all over, but under the comment of her quiet eyes, all the suffering of this half-life came out.

I cried, "Don't my mother be worried, I'm not worried that I will do things as they tell me. Isn't my mother afraid, I'll go another way?"

She looked at me for a moment and said calmly, "You won't."