Academy’s PTSD Chaplain

6 – 6. Subtitle Sophia

“Now you have to stop taking the medicine.”

Moritz looked at the priest in front of him with a frustrated expression.

The priest with a sullen expression didn’t seem to react to Moritz’s words. He simply stared into space.

Into space, into nothingness. Just staring. That was all he did.

And all the while, time continued to pass relentlessly. As if urging him to wake up from a dream.

“Mr. Antinelli. I’m telling you again, you need to stop taking the medicine….”

“…If I stop.”

The priest in front of me. In other words, Priest Lucio Antinelli lowered his sharp gaze.

In place of nothingness, the face of a concerned doctor filled his field of vision.

“If I stop. I feel like I’m going to die.”

“…..”

“But if I don’t stop the medicine. It will be like dying in its own way.”

“Mr. Antinelli.”

Father Antinelli pointed to his temples with his finger. And he tapped it once, twice, and finally three times.

“I can still hear it. In my head…. In this splitting headache.”

From Noble mtl dot com

“What do you hear?”

“The comrades who died beside me…. I can feel the tremors of the shelling. The torn-off arms writhing inside our tank. And, and…. I, I….”

In the midst of it, tears burst forth from Father Antinelli’s eyes, and Moritz gently took hold of his hand out of sympathy. The wrinkled hand of the old doctor clasped the hand of the young man who couldn’t bear his guilt.

“I, what… What on earth should I have done…”

Father Antonelli sobbed. His priestly robes sleeves were damp with tears.

Why should this young man, barely in his twenties with a promising future ahead, suffer so much? What crime had he committed?

Moritz felt genuine compassion for him. Father Antonelli’s suffering wasn’t something he should bear alone, yet this pitiful and weary priest insisted on carrying the burden alone.

He wished he could somehow lighten that load, for the priest himself, or for those around him. It wasn’t about stubbornly rejecting the touch of others; he needed to learn to rely on others, even just a little.

“I… uhuh. I couldn’t do anything. Uhuh. I, I…”

“It’s okay. It’s okay…”

“She wasn’t supposed to go like that. She wasn’t a woman who could just die like that. What should I have done…”

How long had he been sobbing like this?

Father Antonelli raised his head. His expression had improved significantly since before the examination.

“I’m sorry, doctor. I’ve shown an embarrassing side.”

“There’s nothing to apologize for, Mr. Antonelli. The patient has nothing to be sorry about.”

“Thank you.”

Moritz, looking at Father Antonelli’s eyes, reddened like a rabbit, raised his pen to write the prescription.

“Still, medication won’t help. The patient needs to slowly come to terms with the current situation.”

“Yes.”

“Medications with strong narcotic components are difficult to recommend due to their side effects. If you continue taking them, your body will deteriorate further.”

“I understand.”

“I’ll prescribe medication related to your shoulder. Take two pills at a time, three times a day – morning, lunch, and dinner.”

“…Is the shoulder improving?”

It’s awkward. How should he explain?

After a moment of contemplation, Moritz decided to tell the truth. This patient didn’t want to hear sugar-coated words. That’s what he believed.

“The shoulder… honestly, the recovery rate is a bit slow. If you accept miracles vividly depicted with a high density of sacred power, the story might be different, but… yes.”

“Understood.”

“As the previous medication had a narcotic pain relief effect, you might experience some pain while taking this medication.”

“Yes, I understand.”

Father Antonelli’s expression darkened slightly, but he didn’t show it. He soon returned to his usual impassive demeanor and left the examination room.

“Thank you. Well then, see you again in a month.”

“Yes. I’ll see you again in a month.”

Tick.

Moritz stared intently at the closed door of the examination room, then sighed deeply and gently rubbed his temples.

“Haah—”

He leaned back in his chair.

Whenever he visited, he always came before the end of the treatment to have his final consultation.

Was it out of consideration for the other patients? Or was it because he didn’t want to show his recent state to others?

He couldn’t tell. He couldn’t know…but…

“…Maybe it’s not the right time yet.”

Sigh.

“Doctor, I will finish the treatment now.”

“Yes…but before that, Betty.”

Nurse Betty turned her head. Moritz weakly smiled and flicked his fingers.

“Smoke a cigarette before we finish.”

“…Alright.”

He couldn’t bear the stuffiness in his chest without smoking a cigarette.

* * * * *

Ding-dong.

“…We will end today’s class here. If you have any questions, feel free to visit the office as I am on duty today. However, I won’t entertain any questions related to the assignment. Let’s think and write on our own.”

Then, see you next week.

After finishing the class with a slightly different greeting, he left the lecture hall with only one Bible tucked to his side.

It had been three weeks since I started my career as a professor at the academy. Maybe it was because the first class flew by like a storm. Fortunately, no major incidents occurred in the subsequent classes.

However, the strange thing was that the students’ eyes completely changed after the first class.

During the first class, there were a lot of students dozing off or not paying attention. But after my clash with Adelheid, those troublesome students hid their behavior.

Although I was a bit wary of everyone’s glistening gaze…if the students were determined to listen attentively, there would be no need for an educator to suppress them.

Perhaps they developed an interest in theology that they had previously found boring after seeing the flower of the dawn I presented. This hopeful observation was also made cautiously.

“Come to think of it, Chloe seems to be paying attention in class as well.”

Although I only have limited knowledge about this novel, I know that Chloe is the female protagonist. Come to think of it, it seems like I haven’t read the story of the female protagonist.

Anyway, since Chloe, the main character, is diligently attending my class, my goal is to teach her to become a proper person. Perhaps that would work somehow.

I never hoped for the novel to progress smoothly in the first place. I don’t even know what happens after the early part, so who should take care of whom?

“As long as we don’t die, it should be fine.”

Yes. Let’s maintain a healthy, human state. That’s all that matters.

After leaving the classroom with various thoughts swirling in my mind, Sophia Buje, who was also serving as my assistant, clung to me, carrying theology books and stumbling along.

“Sophia Buje. I’ll take care of it.”

“Oh, th-thank you!”

Feeling sorry for her as she continued to fumble with the books, I took a stack from her arms and tucked it into my side.

“I should get a document bag.”

“Yeah, that’s a good idea. We’ll need to bring exam materials starting from the second semester, so a bag will be necessary.”

“Yes, let’s get one that Sophia Buje finds comfortable.”

“I appreciate it! Oh, right. And about today’s duty…”

Even as we walked down the hallway, Sophia Buje hurriedly stuck by my side and informed me of the day’s schedule.

“Buje” is convenient. It reminds me of the time when I served in a rural estate.

Back then, I was an innocent country youth who knew nothing of the world. How did I end up like this?

As Sophia Buje finished talking about the duty, I looked down at her. Her blonde hair swayed as she followed me eagerly. It was like watching a hamster tirelessly running on a wheel.

“Um… Father-in-charge. Aren’t you curious about today’s lunch menu at the academy restaurant?”

“I am curious. Does Sophia Buje know?”

“Hehe. Want me to tell you without any hints?”

“…Hm.”

Sophia Buje looked up at me with a mischievous expression. One of the things I learned from sticking with her constantly within the academy was that she was a very playful person.

I stopped walking and stared down at Sophia Buje. When I stopped, she looked at me strangely, and as if refusing to be ignored, she stared straight into my eyes.

I looked into her emerald-like eyes. Something sparkling was glimpsed.

The passion of youth radiating from her bright and lively expression. It was something that had disappeared and no longer existed for me, who was on the verge of turning thirty.

Of course, even if I were the same age as her, I wouldn’t know if I had such passion. What was I doing at that age?

…I wanted to see that sparkling thing a little closer.

“Um… Father-in-charge?”

Bending her waist and staring at her intently, her porcelain-like face gradually turned red. Why?

Shaking her transparent green irises, Sophia Buje, who seemed unsure of what to do, eventually decided and focused her eyes on mine.

“…”

“…”

Neither of us said anything, but at the same time, we both realized.

This is… a staring contest. A staring contest to find out the lunch menu.

And I never lose a fight.

“…It must hurt your eyes, Sister Sofia.”

“Sophia Subdeacon. I have a mountain of tasks. Let’s finish quickly and leave.”

“Oh, Sister Sofia. Your nose hair is sticking out.”

“I know it’s a lie.”

“…Tsk.”

As I focused on Subdeacon Sophia’s face like that, I noticed a small speck of dust on her sideburns. I shifted the theological books I was holding to my right hand, carefully raised my left hand, and brought it gently over her cheek.

“Hiccup…!”

Subdeacon Sophia’s body trembled. The pupils that had been staring at me quietly also began to shake.

‘This is it…!’

I sensed victory.

As I gently wrapped her cheek with my left hand, her small face fit into my hand. I subtly lifted the corner of my mouth and picked up the dust with my fingers.

“……”

“…Phew.”

And then, unintentionally, a chuckle escaped from me.

Subdeacon Sophia had already closed her eyes. Her clenched fist, tightly gripping, trembled noticeably, as if she was putting all her strength into holding it.

I removed the dust with a snap.

“You walk around with dust in your hair. Perhaps a snack?”

I lightly shook my hand, and for some reason, Subdeacon Sophia, who had been closing her eyes, opened them sneakily.

Then, as if in disbelief, she opened her eyes wide and alternately looked at my hand and face.

“Y-You just… smiled….”

“Why are you like this?”

“I don’t know! Sister, you pervert! You’re a pervert!”

“What?”

“A person, a priest… a clergyman, being like that… Ah, ah…”

Subdeacon Sophia murmured incoherent words. And then.

“What are you two doing here?”

My eternal lunch mate, Professor Esther, appeared. She looked at me and Subdeacon Sophia with eyes that seemed to have seen something strange.

“It’s nothing. Let’s go for a meal.”

“Uh… yes. Well… I was going to do that too.”

“So, Subdeacon Sophia. What’s for lunch today?”

“Who knows!”

We headed to the restaurant. Even during the meal, Sofia didn’t look at me for a while.

“Is there any reason for her to be angry?”

Still, sometimes situations like this are not so bad.

I thought that.