A Book Dedicated to Our Youth

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Her mother ’s cry came: “I know, let ’s go!”

I said again: "Auntie, please tell Xiaofei, don't forget what she promised me."

There is no sound behind the door, I can only leave in silence.

In this turbulent situation, the final exam is coming, my grades are terrible, and the class is in the bottom third.

Teacher Wu was extremely disappointed. I did n’t know whether it was because I was really worried about the depravity of a good student, or whether she was worried about her enrollment rate and bonuses.

My mother talked to me and criticized me very harshly, and decided to limit the time I went out to play. I suddenly changed the silence in front of them and said to her, "Since you can throw me to my grandfather as a child, no matter what Do n’t blame anyone for what it looks like! Just take care of your baby daughter, I will be responsible for my life and death! I do n’t need you to manage it! "

My mother was shaking with anger, but she did n’t dare to beat me, she knew very well, she just moved me a bit, and with my stubbornness and conflicts with them, it is very likely to push me completely to them. Departure from the road.

It may take a thousand days to learn well, but only a few days to learn bad.

After the Spring Festival day, I rode my bike home and saw Xiaofei at the intersection. She was wearing an old-fashioned black woolen coat and smiled at me.

I can't believe what I saw in my eyes, rushed to her: "Xiao Fei?"

She laughed: "Still know me!"

I can't say anything, I only know that she smirked by holding her hand. She said: "Let's find a place to talk for a while."

I said okay, and immediately took her to the river by bicycle, because in winter, there was no water, the entire river bed was exposed, and we sat on the river bed to chat.

She asked me: "How are your final exam results?"

"not too good."

She sighed: "Qiqi, you have to study hard and don't waste the brain that God gave you. Not everyone has the opportunity to study well."

I said nothing.

She looked up at the aspen forest that had fallen leaves, and the expression on her face was sad: "Sometimes, when I wake up suddenly at night, I will cry and long for nothing to happen. This is all nightmare, as long as the dream wakes up, I can still sit in the classroom and listen to the teacher. Now I just think of the annoying homework and the teacher will find it very valuable. If you can let me do my homework and listen to the teacher, I would rather change everything, but no matter how much I regret I know how wrong I am. No one is willing to give me a chance. No one is willing to give me a chance ... "Xiao Fei's tears rolled down his cheeks one by one.

My face was full of tears, but I didn't dare to cry, so I could just wipe it with my sleeve.

Xiaofei watched the sky silently for a long time, and suddenly said with a smile: "Qiqi, you have to believe me, I will remember what I promised you and be a strong person."

I nodded.

She asked, "Do you have any money? I want to ask you to borrow some money."

I hurriedly searched my pockets, because during the New Year, I happened to have lucky money, a total of more than 230 yuan.

She took it and carefully packed her pockets. We sat for a long time side by side, she said: "It's too cold, let's go!"

I pushed my bicycle and asked, "Is there enough money?"

Xiao Fei laughed: "Who would dislike a lot of money?"

I was busy saying, "If you still need it, I can do some more for you."

"Do you want to ask Brother Li to borrow them? I don't want their money. No matter how rich they are, they will pretend that they are not good people, Qiqi, you have to deal less with them."

Instead of saying this to someone else, maybe I had already worked with him long ago, but to Xiao Fei, I only said gently, "I am not a good person."

When I passed a small shop, I was amazed and said to her, "You wait for me for a while."

I pushed the bicycle into the small shop and said to the lady boss: "I want to sell this bike. You can give me a price." I know that these small shops accept stolen goods, ranging from televisions to cigarettes. My father ’s son often steals his dad ’s cigarettes for pocket money.

The lady boss looked at me: "Sixty."

"One hundred, this bike is almost brand new, and it's not mine that I stole. You can use it for your daughter with confidence."

The proprietress glanced at me again and seemed to be judging whether what I said was true or not, and finally, decided to close the deal.

I took a hundred yuan, walked out of the shop, and gave it to Xiaofei. Xiaofei saw that I left my bicycle in the shop. She already understood where my money came from. She did not refuse it, and took it into the bag after taking it. And said to me: "I'm gone."

"When will you come to see me again?"

She smiled: "The next time I invite you to eat lamb skewers."

I nodded.

She walked a few steps, turned to look at me, and said, "Qiqi, I will remember what I promised you, and you have to take care of yourself, remember, and study hard." The pace of departure.

Her figure went further and further away in the cold wind, and I stared at her back. Although she was in a heavy mood, she gradually had hope.

Because, she made me think that all the clouds will eventually disappear one day, we will still sit in front of the charcoal stove, eat kebabs, drink brick tea; we can still sit on the sofa, chat with nails, discuss hair styles in magazine .

However, I did not expect this to be the last time that Xiao Fei and I met.

A few days later, Xiao Fei only left the news that he had left the house without saying a word.

Her parents had hated her for making them humiliating, and perhaps they had wished they had never given birth to her, but when Xiaofei disappeared as they wished, they went crazy looking for her again, but there was no news of her. Some people said they saw her buy After getting the train ticket to Guangzhou, some people said that she saw a train ticket to Beijing.

Because I sold my bicycle, when my parents asked me, I was too tired to make up lies and told them the truth. Unexpectedly, they were not angry. Instead, his father asked his old classmates working on the railway to help them find Xiao Fei together.

There was a trace of guilt in my heart, because during this time, I have been cold-spoken to them, and they all looked very haggard.

Xiaofei's parents went to Beijing and then to Guangzhou, but they never found her again. Xiao Fei's mother's spirit completely collapsed, nearly half crazy; Xiao Fei's father became a drunkard, no longer has the strength to hit people.

After confirming that Xiao Fei really left, I couldn't sleep at night. I regretted it for a while and should not give her money; I regretted it later, why didn't I give her more money. Once I fell asleep, I would have nightmares. I dreamed that Xiao Fei met a bad person, dreamed that she had nothing to eat, and dreamed that she had no clothes to wear.

I can't eat anything, can't sleep well, my body and my spirit are collapsing.

In the face of my rapid weight loss, my father and mother could not beat them or scolded them. I could only tell my sister to play with me more, urging me to go to a painting class, hoping that other things would distract me from Xiao Fei.

The students in the third year of high school are still taking classes in the winter vacation. Xiaobo gave up his homework and tried to accompany me as much as possible to teach me various truths. Tell me that even without me, Xiaofei will leave, and I am not the one who made her leave. To analyze, Xiaofei ’s departure is not necessarily a bad thing. She left here and went to a place where no one knew her, maybe everything can start again, she should be happy. He also took the TV series "Foreign Sister", which has been hot in the past few years, as an example. Although Xiao Fei only has a junior high school culture, he is very smart and will not be worse than Chen Xiaoyi in "Foreign Sister". Since Chen Xiaoyi can mix up, Xiao Fei also You can definitely find a job and take care of yourself.

One day, he gave up on class and came to me.

I sat on the stone bench and watched him pass through the cold sunlight and mottled tree shadows, and suddenly realized that he was also very thin.

Suddenly, my tears could not stop falling. He did not persuade me to sit silently beside me.

I cried for a long time and said to him: "Don't skip class anymore. You must take a good university. In the future, I can only go to a university with you."

He said, "Okay."

I do n’t mention Xiao Fei on the surface, but I often think about it, why is this the case? When we were on summer vacation, did n’t we say yes, study well together, everything is bright? Only Xiaofei knows about Xiaofei ’s pregnancy abortion, Xiaofei ’s parents know, I know, who will pass it on?

Although the boys violated Xiao Fei, they did n’t know that Xiao Fei was pregnant and had an abortion. Even though they could n’t keep secrets because they were showing off, they told others that at most it was a secret among classmates that Ge Xiaofei was not a virgin, but such a rumor, There has never been a shortage in school, and those "non-virgin" girls are still living well.

I asked Wavelet, and Wavelet said he didn't know.

A few years later, Zhang Jun told me why the rumor started in the hospital. The doctors and nurses who gave Xiaofei an abortion did not abide by their medical ethics. They treated the abortion given to a little girl as an anecdote and told their friends and relatives. The friends and relatives told their friends and relatives again. Chuanbai has become the best resource on the Mahjong table, and more and more people know it.

And the four boys, after having a relationship with Xiaofei, once flaunted to tell their friends that there is a word of mouth in the boys, many people know that the "Fair" in No. 1 is no longer a virgin, at least, Zhang Jun in the second grade At the end of the semester, I had heard that "Fair" was broken.

When the rumors of Xiaofei ’s pregnancy abortion came out, people who had heard of the two rumors compared the two rumors with each other and merged and processed a rumored version of Ge Xiaofei ’s gang **** and pregnancy abortion by four people, which directly led to the police ’s intervention.

In this incident, Xiao Fei and the four boys did make a big mistake, but the biggest mistake was the group of doctors and nurses. Without them, even if it was a mistake, it was a correctable mistake, but they did not This group of teenagers was given a chance to look back, which directly led to the tragedy of several families.

At that time, Chinese laws were not perfect, otherwise they would disclose the privacy of patients and they should all be brought to justice. I only curse that their conscience can play a role, when they think of the tragedy of five families, five teenagers are destroyed, let them have nightmares night after night!

2

Guan He's secret

Beautiful women are lovely, strong women are respectable,

When a woman is beautiful and strong, she will be invincible.

Throughout the winter vacation, my life was chaotic. The only normal thing I did was to celebrate Teacher Gao in the Spring Festival.

Teacher Gao already knew that Zhang Junfen was in a poor class, and that my final test scores fell sharply. She was sad. She told me that although she had brought a lot of students, she still thought that Zhang Jun and I were the most special among the students she had taught. As a teacher, the most afraid thing to see was obviously talented students, but wasted herself. .

Zhang Junfen is on a shift. She is not worried. She said that Zhang Jun ’s concentration is stronger than many adults. On the surface, it seems that everything does not matter. He can follow the waves. In fact, he has his own idea and will not be interfered by others. .

But she was very worried about me. I was stubborn and indifferent on the surface. It seemed that it was difficult to be influenced by others. In fact, my heart was very sensitive and easily interfered by the outside world. The ups and downs of my grades are enough to prove her judgment. She said that she did not expect me to have excellent grades in the entrance examination, but at least I should ensure that I can enter the key high school.

When coming out of Teacher Gao's house, Zhang Jun was parking the motorcycle downstairs. He bent over and lowered his head. Without seeing me, I accelerated my pace and wanted to walk past him as soon as possible.

"Hey!"

I didn't stop, I just paused, not sure he was calling me.

"Hey!"

There was another cry, and I turned back uncertainly.

"Ge Xiaofei is very clever and strong, she will get through it." He stood beside the motorcycle and looked at me.

I was sure that he was talking to me. I just felt that all my sadness poured into my eyes, and the tears were swirling in my eyes.

He seemed to want to say a lot, but in the end he only said: "Don't be too sad."

I was afraid that as soon as I opened my mouth, tears would fall down. I only nodded and turned away.

I felt a pair of eyes staring at me all the time behind me, so I stepped over and wanted to escape quickly.

The new semester begins, this is the last semester of our junior high school.

Although Xiao Fei's affairs were in full swing, with her disappearance, everything quickly calmed down. Especially in the classroom, when the sunlight penetrates the fresh green leaves, the boys running on the playground have a ruddy complexion, full of vitality, and the girls eat ice cream and laugh, and chatteringly exchange gossip. No need to listen, I know what they are talking about. Because, two years ago, I was still one of them. Different people, but always similar youth, always similar stories.

I sometimes find it hard to believe that a person just disappears, but the world is still running so vigorously, can't it feel our sadness?

The earth will not stop turning because of anyone. This is the most honest and cruelest word.

Zhang Jun has a new girlfriend named Chen Yinan, a talented daughter of our school. He was the director of the school radio station and the editor-in-chief of the school newspaper.

We have also considered dealing with each other. I participated in several speech contests. After winning several awards, she once invited me to join the school's school radio station, which I politely declined.

She is now a student in the liberal arts class of her junior high school. Her language performance is exceptionally good. It is said that she is a girl who is a bit like Sister Lin. She is quite alone because of her talents.

Chen Yinan and Zhang Jun ’s previous two girlfriends have nothing in common. The only thing in common is that they are both bigger than him. Everyone fell through their glasses when she and Zhang Jun fell in love. I don't know where Zhang Jun got into the eyes of a talented girl. Is he and Chen Yinan discussing Li Baidufu and Li Qingzhao Zhu Shuzhen together?

Maybe because of Xiao Fei, maybe because of numbness, I did n’t feel the slightest heartache. I just thought lightly that Zhang Jun could n’t stand loneliness at all. The girls around me always came and went. How long can this guy last?

I turned out Agatha? Christie began to study, looking for clues in the maze arranged by the old lady, and crucified the murderer. Because Xiaobo is preparing for the college entrance examination, and rarely in the karaoke hall, I do n’t go to the karaoke hall very much. After school every day, I either go home or go to the library.

Life is very peaceful, but my peace is self-abrupt in Guan He's eyes, she tried very hard to approach me, but because of Xiao Fei, I have locked the door of friendship in my heart, I refuse to accept her kindness.

But she didn't know which rib was wrong, she even got on the bar, no matter how cold I was, she didn't feel it. I urged me to do my homework, urged me to take classes, urged me to study hard, and actively asked me to play, but whenever the classmates gathered, regardless of size, as long as she participated, she would definitely pull me. She reminded me of the nuns in Christianity who are working hard to save me who is about to turn to the devil.

I was helplessly led by her into her circle of friends. In this circle, there was Master Li Shan, the poet Song Chen, and the pale and weak Wei Wei. Because in line three, we called him the third one. There is Wang Hao, an English class representative who lives in her sister's home.

Guan He worked hard to make my life colorful, and I worked hard to be indifferent.

Song Chen had been uncomfortable with me since long ago, and was uncomfortable with me being unsmiling all day long, and asked me: "Why don't you laugh? You look like a woman representative of the old society who is bitter and hatred. '?'

I told him: "Do you know why‘ laugh and smile for less than ten years ’? Because you laugh more, it ’s easy to grow wrinkles, it ’s easy to get old looks, and when someone asks you the real age, you will be surprised, wow, you are so young.”

Song Chen is speechless. Although he is talented, it is arguable that his thinking logic is quibble. He can't catch up to me with eight horses.

Although he can't stand me, he can cover me with the lotus off, he can only make me three points.

Guan He will not be passionate enough to force me to turn her face, but she will never give up on me. Anyway, she will work hard. I have a stone door to protect it. I haven't planned to open it for thousands of years, but Guan He plans to make water drops until the water drops pass through.

One day, I had forgotten what the reason was. Anyway, Guan He needed to go home to pick up something. He had to pull me and let me accompany her home. After arriving at her house and seeing her erhu, I asked her to play a song for me, and she played "Prairie Night" for me.

"I remember the song you just pulled when you transferred to our class."

She was surprised: "Do you remember? This is my favorite song."

I remember everything about her. What did Gu Long say? The person who knows you best is not a friend, but an enemy, but unfortunately Guan He is a good student and does not look at Gu Long. Otherwise, she should really beware of me.

I asked her, "Who did you study with Erhu?" Teacher Erhu was not easy to find. At least I had never seen the Erhu class.

"My dad taught me, he likes this song the most, and it worked very well."

"Oh!" I nodded lightly, looking at the family portrait hanging in her living room. Her father was old and fat, and there was a lot of fat on his face. I couldn't see it as a talent.

She sat in silence for a while, and suddenly pulled an album from the depths of the drawer and opened it to me: "This is a photo of my dad."

I glanced at it for a moment, and couldn't help but look closely. The man in the photo has a clear eyebrow and a gentle look. Because of the black-and-white photo, he is more revealing.

Is this person's change too great? How can it grow from this to the one in the living room?

As the album was turned back, I found that all of them were young photos, not even a middle-aged one, and the family portrait photos were only of father, mother, and Guan He. Brothers and sisters without Guan He, I was secretly wondering, Guan He said: " My current father is my stepfather. "

"Did your father get sick and die?"

Guan He shook his head and said lightly: "One year he went on a business trip abroad. On a narrow road, two big cars met head-on and needed to pass. He accidentally leaned his head out of the window. The driver of the two cars I didn't see it, my head was rubbed off. "

I'm creepy, this is the most terrifying death I have ever heard. If I did n’t hear it myself, I really want to fabricate a more conventional death, whether it is liver cancer or lung cancer.

I have only heard it once. I have n’t dared to put my head out of the car window for many years. I even look at it before and after reaching out the window. I ca n’t imagine the psychological shadow of Guan He.

It seems that Guan He has n’t talked about things for many years. Once opened, he ca n’t stop: “My dad ’s surname is Xia. He named me Xia He because he likes lotus flowers. Gao Jie. After his death, because his mother did not have a job, in order to feed me and give me a good educational environment, he married my current father, and my surname changed from Xia to Guan. "

"How is your current father doing to you?"