A Book Dedicated to Our Youth

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"I'm angry that you want to destroy yourself for these three rubbish, are you so mean in your heart?"

My tears came into my eyes, but he did n’t want him to see. He turned his head away, and he straightened his eyes sympathetically, looking away: "When we were young, we were all too weak. In order to fight against bullying from the outside world, we must We are desperate, but we have grown up now and must learn to deal with the contradictions in life in other ways. "

I secretly wiped away tears and said with a smile: "Next time I will learn to control impulse."

Xiaobo said with a smile: "The outside world is very big. I always have to fly out and take a look at it for a lifetime, so I can't hurt my wings too early."

I seem to understand, where do I fly? What do you want to see?

Wavelet asked: "Qi Qi, what do you want to do in the future?"

Except for "My Ideal" in the composition class, no one seems to have asked me this question. I frowned and thought for a while, saying, "I don't know, when I was a kid, I wanted to live with my grandfather, but Grandpa is gone. "

"What about universities?"

"It doesn't matter if you don't go to school. I don't have a crush on college. It's good to go to a technical school. My sister in the cell next door works at a hydropower plant. I watch the instrument in a daze every day. I have money to take it. It would be nice if she could be like her. "

Xiao Bo didn't expect that I had the ambitious wish to go to work at the hydropower plant at the age of seventeen to make money, and asked with a smile: "Are you staring at the meter every day, aren't you afraid of boredom? Is there anything you like to do?"

"Um ... um ... I like to read books, maybe I can open a small bookstore that can read books every day and make money." I said with excitement, "You do business, Xiaofei goes to work, we meet on the weekend, together Playing poker, eating lamb skewers, and drinking beer. "I pointed at him." You are such a grandiose, and you will definitely be rich in the future. You must not be too poor to love rich! "

Wavelet laughed: "Okay, I'll treat you."

I also laughed, there was a joy, a peace of mind.

Wavelet looked at his watch and said, "I will take you home."

The two walked out side by side. Although it was near midnight, the dance hall was still just right and the wine was strong. I asked him: "Is the layout here your idea?"

"Ok."

Zhang Jun and his girlfriend were sitting together. If they were worried, the other party said five sentences, and he answered one sentence. The woman shook his arm and talked, looking at the dance floor with her eyes, as if begging him to dance.

There was a burst of soreness in my heart, but my eyes could not move away from my eyes.

Zhang Jun stood up suddenly, my heart jumped suddenly, and immediately found that he was looking at Wavelet, and Wavelet greeted him: "Thank you so much just now."

He said politely: "It's our embarrassment to cause trouble at Brother Li and Xiaobo's land."

Wavelet waved to the foreman, called her over, and smiled and commanded: "All the money on this table is charged to my account."

Zhang Jun didn't say anything, only said: "Thank you Bobo."

Zhang Jun's girlfriend said, "Is Bo Xiaobo okay? If it's okay, let's play together!"

I can't help but sneer coldly: "Bobo is younger than you, he should call your sister, how do you call his brother?"

The woman's face was flushed and her tears were coming out. It seemed that she still minded something bigger than Zhang Jun.

Xiaobo stared at me and was about to say a few words to ease the atmosphere. Zhang Jun, who had always been faint, suddenly smiled and said: "She is my girlfriend. Since I am called Xiaobo, of course she must also call Xiaobo."

The woman immediately broke into a smile, and it was my turn to choke, but I was not trained by the cornucopia and Zeng Hongbai. I had already knocked over a few jars of Shanxi vinegar, and the Shanxi vinegar with Huanglian added, but my face was smiling The spring breeze was brilliant, holding Xiaobo's arm intimately: "Let's go!"

Xiaobo greeted Zhang Jun: "Do not disturb you anymore, let's take a step first."

Out of the dance hall, I asked Xiaobo: "Do you think that girl was pretty just now?"

Wavelet asked: "Which? There are girls everywhere in the ballroom."

"Just Zhang Jun's girlfriend."

"Don't pay attention, do you hate her? How did you say that just now? Although this Jun followed them up with Xiaoliu, his temper was not like Xiaoliu, you should thank him for the matter tonight."

I'm discouraged, forget it! It ’s better to ask if it ’s beautiful or not. Anyway, it ’s better to be prettier than me. I said half-truth: “She first said Xiaofei ’s bad things. I do n’t think she is pleasing to the eye. She is not a moral model herself. What is the qualification to judge Xiao Fei? "

Wavelet sighed and laughed.

Already approaching my house downstairs, I waved to him: "No more delivery, how long tongued woman in my house."

He stood still and I rushed home.

At night, lying in bed, thinking of Xiaofei, and then think of yourself, it seems that fate is different, but how similar, the people we love do not love us, the love she loves the loneliness of music is cold, the person I love loves red dust Prosperous temptation, who is more fortunate?

2

Sadness is also a very complicated matter

According to legend, carps must jump into the dragon gate, remove the fish scales from the whole body, and cut off the fins before they can turn into dragons;

According to legend, a bird must burn itself to become a phoenix.

Does youth have to go through ignorance and pain to gain mature wisdom?

Since Wang Zheng made it clear that he did not like Xiao Fei, Xiao Fei no longer went to the ballroom.

She seemed to be the same as before, still laughing loudly and making a lot of noise, as if she could not remember who Wang Zheng was, but she was no longer her. She always asked me after putting on her clothes and combing her hair: "Good-looking Is it right? Over and over again, it seems that she looks good or not, depends entirely on others.

She no longer refuses to invite boys, and likes to hang out with the most flamboyant boys in the school, but can go out a few times, she gets bored again, no longer ignore each other, and change to the next one. She has become the most fun girl in our grade. In the eyes of other girls, she changes her "boyfriend" at the same speed as her clothes. If a boy does this, many girls will still say "men are not bad, women don't love". Xiaofei, they don't hesitate to attack in the back with the most vicious language. Girls are inherently hostile compared to their pretty girls. There is a three-foot wave when nothing happens, not to mention that Xiao Fei is really crazy.

I coldly watched Xiao Fei's changes. Although my heart hurts, I couldn't help it because I knew I couldn't stop it. If I said too much, her choice was not to obey me but to stay away from me.

I can only treat my children in the rebellious period patiently with her, and hope that her messy and sad days will pass sooner. When her heartache subsides, she will realize that Wang Zheng ’s negation does not mean the negation of life. Whether she is beautiful comes from her heart, not the words of others.

I used my friendship with her to try my best to influence her decision, but all the boys mixed with technical schools and society are excluded, and try to circle her friends among middle school students. In my opinion, these people are pure after all. Xiaofei plays with them. They are still ignorant games for boys and girls. Nothing will happen, but I'm sorry for them. Let them be the cannon fodder for Xiaofei's broken relationship.

At that time, I had a very chaotic life. On the one hand, it was the beautiful love world in romance novels, and on the other hand, it was cruel reality. If I ca n’t get the favor of the prince in my heart, can I still understand it? She is beautiful, smart, passionate, and kind, but her prince refuses to look at her even at a glance, and I start to get confused. Is there really something in this world called love? Can a girl really hope that a boy in this world loves and loves her wholeheartedly?

Confusion is confusion. I still like to read romance novels. I continue to read romance novels tirelessly, coming out of one dream and entering another dream. Real life is too barren, and only the dreams woven by the novel can add some color to life.

In the pain and confusion of growth, the first semester of the second year of junior year ended, and the final exam scores did not change, but Xiaofei only ranked fourth in the class. In the eyes of others, this is still a good result, but for Xiao Fei, this is the worst result in her personal history.

Xiao Fei didn't care. Not only did she not converge, but because of the winter vacation, she completely let go of the trouble. She deliberately avoided the realm related to me. She avoided Wang Zheng and didn't want me to control her, but how could I ignore her?

Once she was drunk and played crazy in someone else's cabaret. I went to pick her up and she cried on me.

She was so sad that I couldn't do anything. I could only pat her back and said, "It will pass, all the pain will be no match for time. One day, you will forget him." But I said even I am not sure about myself, really? Do we really forget the people we like?

I was about to help Xiao Fei to leave, but I heard someone crying in the corner of the cabaret. The sound seemed familiar, and when I looked back, it was Zhang Jun ’s girlfriend. Xiao Fei was sad because of Wang Zheng. Why was she here? sad?

I want to leave, but she is drunk as a girl. After all, she is not at ease and can only bring her out.

In this way, Xiaofei, I dare not send her home directly; Zhang Jun's girlfriend, I don't know where to live, so I can only call a taxi and go to the wave hall first.

The squid sent someone to Zhang Jun to pick him up, and I filled Xiaofei with strong tea.

When Zhang Jun came, his girlfriend was drunk and unconscious, and the squid greeted him. Zhang Jun politely said, "Trouble you."

The squid pointed at me: "It's the four-eyed panda who suddenly does a good deed every day, it has nothing to do with me."

Zhang Jun glanced at me, without a word, lifted his girlfriend and left. I stared at his back, and there was an urge to stun him with an apple in my hand. The squid shivered: "Four-eyed panda, since you hate Zhang Jun so much, why should you help his girlfriend?"

I smiled sweetly: "Who said I hate him?" Get up to see Xiao Fei.

The squid grunted behind me: "No, why don't you pinch the apple like this?"

After Xiaofei woke up, I took her downstairs and watched her go upstairs before I left. I know that she will still hang out with a guy tomorrow. These boys are usually not good at learning, but they are good at playing. They are proficient in smoking and drinking and fighting.

In fact, in a sense, I am also in love, but I am timid and timid, hiding everything in my heart, so I dare not reveal my sadness.

I enrolled in a winter vacation painting class and began to study painting seriously. Xiaobo was assigned to the key class for the third year of high school and started to pick up textbooks while reviewing homework and doing exercises.

After seeing me wrestling with a bunch of colors all day, Xiaobo made me look like a cat, and he couldn't help asking me curiously: "How come you are suddenly interested in painting?"

I suddenly decided to tell him my secret: "Because I am jealous of a girl, she is too good, smart and beautiful, she has good academic performance, she can play erhu, can sing, can write, and can write good articles. "

Wavelet did not understand: "What does this have to do with how you learn to paint?"

"I have inquired for a long time and heard that she can't paint, so I decided to learn to paint."

Wavelet was dazed and laughed: "Are you jealous? What is her name? I want to see how many arms and eyes she has grown."

I stared at him: "No! All the boys who have seen her like her, I don't allow you to like her, so you can't see her."

Wavelet said in surprise: "Are you really jealous of her?"

I nodded and said with great melancholy: "I used to wish I could become her, I hate being myself, but now I understand that no matter whether I like this kind of myself, I can only be me, so I no longer hate myself, but still Envious and jealous of her, she is the most perfect girl in my mind. I do n’t care on the surface. In fact, I have been secretly comparing us, and I have always worked hard and secretly, but whenever I feel that I am better and better than before, When I saw her, I immediately found that she was still so far away. I think it is absolutely impossible to catch up with her no matter how hard I try in this life. Even jealousy is a ridiculous thing, because jealousy is only suitable for People who are not so far apart, for example, Li Xin can be jealous that Xiao Fei looks prettier than her, but she will never jealous that Lin Qingxia looks better than her, so, do you understand? Actually, I am not even jealous of her. Long and sighed heavily, "I can only learn from other people's weaknesses and secretly give myself confidence, it is better than nothing!"

Wavelet said gently: "You are you, unique, no need to compare with others."

Without speaking, I buried my head to paint the watercolor. He wouldn't understand, that kind of envious person is eager to have everything she has.

I still go to New Year ’s Day with Teacher Gao on New Year ’s Day. Teacher Gao said with emotion: “Last year, many classmates came to New Year, and this year has been less than half. It is estimated that you and Zhang Jun will be next year.”

She asked me about my grades, and I reported truthfully. Teacher Gao sighed and asked me, "When are you going to study hard?"

I honestly said: "Actually, I am very interested in science and read books seriously. I just want to work hard, but I also want to work hard, but once I play, I do n’t want to study. I really do n’t know how those good students can bear. living?"

Chatting with teacher Gao, Zhang Jun came to the New Year. He and I have a completely different way of visiting the New Year. I came with two hands empty and with one mouth, but he was full of gifts with two hands, and it turned out to be a rich man.

Teacher Gao was very happy to see him, and while letting him in, he said, "It's a coincidence, Qi Qi is right here."

I stood up and said, "Teacher Gao, I and my classmate made an appointment to go to her house to play, so I didn't sit up any more."

Teacher Gao asked regretfully: "Can't you sit for a while? The three of us haven't chatted together for a long time."

I am sorry to say: "I have an appointment with my classmates early in the morning."

Zhang Jun stood aside, his expression was indifferent, and he said nothing. After saying "Goodbye" with Teacher Gao, I left Teacher Gao's house.

With my hands in my coat pocket and walking in the cold wind, I tried to analyze my heart clearly.

When I did n’t see Zhang Jun, I would always think of him, guess what he was doing, and even look forward to meeting him by chance; but once he appeared in front of me, I could n’t wait to escape. Do I want to see him or not?

What a complicated contradiction and unreasonable!

The analysis is unclear, and the analysis is simply not done. Go back to practice drawing.

The human mind is too complicated, and there is no way to lead to the human mind. You can draw these things, but you can master them through diligence.

After the Spring Festival, everyone has a lot of money in their pockets, and the weather is cold. Everyone likes to live in the house, so the business of the K song hall is booming.

All my New Year's money this year has contributed to the painting career. It is both painful and sweet. The pain is that there is no dime in my pocket. No matter what I see, I can only be greedy. The sweet thing is to look at the rows of pens and paints. sense.

My sister started to study the electronic piano. At that time, parents wanted to learn some arts from their children. But apart from families like Chen Jin, few parents could afford violins and pianos, so most of them chose electronic pianos. The girls in the class couldn't find a few who hadn't learned the keyboard, and all the music teachers who taught the keyboard amateur made a lot of money.

My sister made noise all day at home, so I moved all the painting tools to Xiaobo's office. My dad and mom saw me graffiti one by one, and felt that I was still studying **** Kangzhuang Avenue. Rest assured, continue to adopt an education policy of doing nothing.

I am very happy that their loose education gave me the freedom to secretly interact with a "bad youth" like a squid, but at some point, my sister was criticized by her father for seeing her being lazy and not practicing the piano. When watching TV and having to practice the piano, I will feel very complicated. It seems that I hope my parents will scold me and punish me.

People's hearts, it's really complicated!

On the eighth day of the New Year's Day, I was holding a drawing board, sitting on the balcony, observing life's various forms, pretending to be a sketcher, and saw Zhang Jun and his girlfriend coming in side by side.

After a while, the voice of "like fog, rain and wind" came from the box.

You treat me like fog, rain and wind

Come and go leaving only a blank

You treat me like fog, rain and wind

Let my heart follow you

I frowned in disgust and put away the drawing board to enter the house. Suddenly I heard a choking voice in the song and couldn't help but stop my footsteps and probed my head to peek. I know the **** is wrong, but I can't control myself.

The girl cried as she sang. Zhang Jun tried to take the microphone away from her several times, without success, but caused her tears to fall and rush. Zhang Jun gave up holding the microphone and sat without expression. The girl finally sang the song and cried and said to Zhang Jun, but Zhang Jun said nothing, but nodded occasionally. After a long time, this is still the case. I ’m tired of watching, are n’t they tired?

The girl wiped her tears, smiled reluctantly for Zhang Jun, and ran out of the karaoke hall. Zhang Jun was still sitting there, as if in a daze, as if thinking about problems.

He didn't move, and I shrank in the corner, looking at him through the glass on the door of the box.

The next day, the news that the girl broke up with him spread.

Everyone sympathizes with Zhang Jun. In this circle, being dumped by a woman is a very, very shameless thing. Zhang Jun must be in a bad mood.

I don't care whether he is in a good mood or not. He rushed into Xiaobo's office and shouted: "Bobo, let's sing, OK?"

Wavelet was surprised: "Don't you like singing?"

"It's still Chinese New Year, we should celebrate. Don't read books, go sing." Dragging him out, picking an unmanned box, singing violently to the TV, squid they all come to join in the fun, I am not happy , Dominating the microphone one after another, singing and dancing, the squid laughed: "The four-eyed panda is crazy!"

I said, "I'm happy to be crazy!" This is simply the best New Year gift this year.

Someone knocked on the door outside the box, and the squid opened the door and whispered to the other party.

The "Heart Rain" I ordered started playing, and I immediately plugged the microphone into Wavelet's hands and sang with Wavelet:

My miss is the untouchable web

My miss is no longer the sea breaking the dike

Why are you always on those rainy days

Think of you deeply

My heart is the love of June

Dripping rain

Miss you miss you miss you miss you

Miss you for the last time

Because tomorrow i will be someone else's bride

Let me miss you for the last time

I sang and laughed at the screen, and Xiaobo sang and laughed. Both of them were numb to fight the cold war, but they desperately sang each other to the affectionately, with the purpose of making people die.

Wavelet sang, "I miss you, you miss you, you miss you for the last time ..." I stared at me deliberately very deeply and sadly. He was always mature and stable, and he rarely did such a frivolous look, enchanting and smiling.

"Sing well!" The squid applauded, applauded loudly, and said jokingly, "Who dares to rob you? Let's find some buddies to make his marriage funeral."